The Writing Desk of Jakebe Rabbit

Weight This Week: 178.2

Time: 20 minutes
Distance: 1.92 miles
Top Speed: 6.5 mph
Calories: 217

Chest Press: 100 lbs.
Bent-Arm Cable Pulldown: 45 lbs.
Stomach Crunches: 30
Push-Ups: 26

My arms are still giving out before I can do my full set of push-ups. I don't really blame them, since I haven't really been doing this for about a month now. Starting today though, I'm going to shoot for going for a run every single day this week. That's a big reason why I've toned the time back to 20 minutes; if things go well, I should be able to ramp it back up to 30 minutes at least five days a week soon enough.

I was a giant pig during the month of September and the earlier part of October. I blame the wedding! :) Hopefully I'll be able to get back into the swing of healthier eating this week too.

Oh yes, I'll be putting my exercise posts up on a filter. Who wants in?

Weight This Week: 173.2 lbs.
Weight Last Week: 175.0 lbs.
Change: -1.8 lbs.

Time: 11 minutes
Distance: 1.02 miles
Top Speed: 6.5
Calories: 121

Chest Press: 100 lbs.
Bent Arm Cable Pulldown: 45 lbs.
Stomach Crunches: 30
Push-Ups: 25

I've lost three pounds in two weeks, but I don't really trust the readings. 173 lbs. is still within my 'normal' range, so I won't be convinced that I'm getting the weight loss thing down until I start flirting with 165. Nonetheless, I'm continuing to make gains with weight training, even though since I've upped the exercises my arms give out before I can hit 30 push-ups.

I couldn't make thirty minutes today because I started wheezing way too early on the treadmill, and it felt like my chest was tightening up. It was kind of alarming, to be honest. I'm pretty sure it's dehydration; I've had scads of coffee and alcohol this weekend, without much water. Woops. ;) I really need to get to the point where I'm OK drinking water from the tap; I've gotten spoiled on free bottled water from Adobe.

Elsewhere this weekend I've been really productive. I took my college placement tests on Saturday and did pretty well on those, though this is community college we're talking about. The math test kicked my ass a little bit (but I've rediscovered the joy of algebra and trigonometry, hooray!), but apparently I did well enough that I can take any beginner's math course I want.

I registered for English Composition IA, which is the highest beginner's course they have. I'll need to make an appointment with a counselor this week, though, to explain my situation and see if I *need* to transfer my credits over from St. Mary's. The way I see it, I would rather have a fresh start at secondary schooling, and I'd like to not mess with all that business unless I have to. If I can get away with it, I'd gladly take English Comp I over again; I don't mind taking the refresher course to get me back into fighting shape, as it were.

One thing this has re-awakened in me (in a hurry, I might add), is that perfectionist tendency, that desire to do extremely well. I scored a 97, 90, and 87 on my three English tests and I was *disappointed*. I miss that. :) I know I can do better, and I like pushing myself. I just forgot I did.

Went to the comic book shop and dropped a lot of money in celebration; Illusive Comics, my local store of choice, went from being "OK" to "Fantastic" because of their sale, their owner, and the fact that they gave me a...beverage...when I asked for one. If you're local and you're into comics, I recommend these guys. They're in Santa Clara on El Camino Royale, right next to Amal's Juicy Burger.

Comic reviews will be coming again in the next day or two.

Weight This Week: 176.4 lbs
Weight Last Week: 173.6 lbs.
Change: +2.8 lbs.

Chest Press: 100 lbs.
Bent-Arm Cable Pulldown: 45 lbs.
Stomach Crunches: 30

Time: 15 minutes
Distance: ??
Top Speed: ??
Calories: ??

We have two treadmills at our apartment's small fitness center, and one of them (my favorite) was broken. There was a line for the other one on Monday, so I decided to try my hand at running off the treadmill. I was able to go for around half of the route (which is a pretty big block) before I was winded and had to revert to walking. So I walked, ran for a little bit longer and just couldn't get my breath back. I stopped after one walk around the block.

Not sure what happened there. toob says it's likely because I was running faster than I was on the treadmill, which I'll buy, but I tried taking special care to pace myself. I was interested in lasting the whole 30 minutes, after all. I'll definitely have to try again sometime soon.

The weight went up because I ate *so* poorly last week. It was my birthday week, though, so no regrets. I'm really paying attention to what I'm eating now, though.

For the past few nights I've had pretty vivid dreams. Monday, I dreamed that really had to go to the bathroom while the Pledge of Allegiance was being recited at a public event. I knew it was considered the highest insult to leave the room while the Pledge was being said, but I wasn't about to pee myself so I left. After that, during a Q and A session with Barack Obama, the presidential candidate himself called me out for a lack of patriotism. I shot back with the charge that it's ridiculous to expect someone to pee their pants all in the name of love of country. This made him look bad, so he punished me by making me his personal assistant for the day.

The rest of the dream is a bit of a blur, but it ended with us going to this Japanese restaurant, where the kitchen was upstairs in a private space. There was this team of three old men, one making soup, the other making rice, and the other manning the meat and vegetables. I learned how to make egg drop soup, which turned out to be pretty interesting. Barack was making snide comments about my competence the entire time.

Yeah, I don't know what the hell either.

The second dream, on Tuesday, was about our wedding. For some reason Ryan and I decided to have it in the middle of the woods, and the guy who was supposed to drive us to the location (harlkyn; sorry, this is no reflection on what I think of you) was paid off to drop us in the wrong place, where we would then be tortured and then killed. In the dream, I was simultaneously trying to survive the experience and redramatizing it for a horror movie/documentary. Apparently I had this mega-whoopus scene at the end where I'm in leather and I hold up my fist at night, in the rain.

That last bit was awfully embarrassing to admit, come to think of it.

Last night I dreamed about this neighborhood of ghetto shops. Think Santana Row or downtown Eureka Springs, only with chicken joints, liquor stores and run-down pharmacies. I was getting hair extensions so I could have braids, and while we went to a bookstore some disease broke out that killed 80% of anyone it infected. 5% were immune, and the other 15% became zombies.

I forced myself to wake up after I started to be chased; I just decided the dream had become too frightening, and I wasn't having any of it. In hindsight, I'm pretty glad I woke up when I did.

I'm not sure what this all points to. I could be my subconscious jazzing around, or there could be some anxiety about various things playing themselves out. I usually don't remember my dreams this vividly, but I'm really glad my brain is finally letting me in on what it does with itself while my body isn't keeping it occupied.

Weight This Week: 173.0 lbs.
Weight Last Week: 174.0 lbs.
Change: -1.0 lbs.

Time: 23 minutes
Distance: 2.12 miles
Top Speed: 6.2 mph
Calories: 221

Chest Press: 80 lbs.
Bent Arm Cable Pulldown: 45 lbs.
Stomach Crunches: 30
Push-Ups: 30

I'm noticing that some of my shirts are getting tight around the shoulders and upper arms, and that my arms are definitely getting thicker. This pleases me. ;) However, I still have the stomach! I realize it's like finding the Holy Grail to have a flat stomach, but it is something I'm still aiming for.

I've been relatively silent on the whole marriage thing, mostly because I wasn't sure if things would pan out. It looks like things are far enough along to where I can state the date and plans with confidence.

So, toob and I will be getting married on Saturday, September 27th, 2008 at the San Jose State University Chapel. Afterwards there will be a potluck barbecue/reception at the barbecue pits outdoors; in lieu of presents we ask that anyone who plans to attend bring a dish to share with everyone! Since they won't let us serve alcohol at the barbecue, the plan is to invade a Dave and Buster's in the evening afterwards. I'm looking into their policy for large groups, and hopefully will be able to give details about possible cost soon.

You folks in Arkansas, yes, it's safe to assume you're invited. :) I'd like to tell you now so you can save up for airfare and hotel cost. Unfortunately, we won't be able to put anyone up, but there's inexpensive lodging near both our place and (hopefully) the University.

Now that the day is nearly here I'm getting more and more excited, and more nervous. We're aiming for a relatively modest service and it still feels like we're in over our heads. I can't imagine what it would be like to do something ostentatious; I can totally understand how a relatively level-headed woman can turn into a complete Bridezilla now. ;)

Weight This Week: 170.2 lbs.
Weight Last Week: 172.4 lbs.
Change: -2.2 lbs.

Chest Press: 80 lbs.
Cable Pulldown: 30 lbs.
Stomach Crunches: 30
Push-Ups: 26

Time: 26 minutes
Distance: 2.37 miles
Top Speed: 6.1 mph
Calories: 245

I couldn't finish my push-ups, which bummed me out just a little; however, I'm starting to show a bit of definition in the arms which kind of made up for it. :) I'm so vain.

I've been working on poems and a few other things that aren't ready to show. There are so many ideas I'd like to try I'm starting to worry about spreading myself too thin for things. I really should slow down, perhaps, make sure that what I am working on I'm doing as well as possible.

We didn't make AnthroCon, obviously, so we used the opportunity to visit friends instead. Went to a great Thai place in Sunnyvale yesterday evening called Thai Pepper with malinandrolo. Holy cats, that place is excellent. :9 There's a hot, sour, spicy soup with coconut milk and chicken that's just the other side of fantastic, it was some of the best soup ever. We also had cashew chicken, yellow curry with tofu and pineapple fried rice. All very reasonable, with wonderful Thai coffee. :9

Malin supplied us with numerous amusing anecdotes, and Rolo's sense of humor was as dry and sharp as always. Afterwards we went to see Wall-E, which was about as fantastic as everyone says it is. My favorite's still The Incredibles, but this is a really solid entry.

Today we hung with andreal and tealfox, played a few games and watched Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. If you haven't seen this vastly underrated little gem with Val Kilmer and Robert Downey Jr, I highly recommend it. It's supremely awesome. belly4you, I *know* you would love it. :)

I am way behind on calling people, so sorry; if you've called me in the last two months or so, I'm really sorry, and I have no excuse at all, and I'm dirt and scum and a poor friend. Please accept my wholehearted apologies and let me try to make it up to you sometime by this weekend.

Next up, the four day work week! Whoohoo!

Time: 30 minutes
Distance: 2.72 miles
Top Speed: 6.0 mph
Calories: 280

Chest Press: 80 lbs. x1
Bent Arm Pulldowns: 45 lbs. x3
Push Ups: 25

Weight This Week: 169.8 lbs.
Weight 2 Weeks Ago: 169.2 lbs.
Change: +0.6 lbs.

Time: 34 minutes
Distance: 3.26 miles
Top Speed: 6.7 mph
Calories: 342

Chest Press: 80 lbs.
Bent Arm Pulldown: 45 lbs.
Push-Ups: 30
Crunches: 30

I've hit a bit of a rough patch, all things considered. The death of toob's rat Lily put all sorts of notions in my head, and it's been tough to shake them. I always think I'm a little bit more comfortable with the notion of loss and death and ending than I was before until I face it head-on, and then a lot of things I thought I had resolved come rushing back.

It doesn't help that the news reports are all doom and gloom these days. Oil prices are continually on the rise, hitting record peaks week after week for months now...and this is even before our peak driving season. It struck me that between rampant heating use in the winter and air conditioning and driving use in the summer, we're always using oil for some reason year round. We're always paying more, whether it's through our home heating bill or gas for our car, or electricity for fans or AC. We never take a break, really.

I do believe that the Oil Peak has been hit, and the gap between supply and demand will continually grow uncomfortably close until one day we'll hit a deficit that we won't be able to recover from. That day is frighteningly close: even the most optimistic estimates puts the date sometime around 2010. After that, one way or another, our way of life will change drastically.

I'm relatively optimistic. I don't think this means the end of the world or civilization, necessarily, but it does mean living a lot harder than we're used to. A lot of people don't relish the idea, but it's well past time we stopped being so excessive and mindless with what we consume. If we had committed to that, say, eight years ago, we'd be a lot better off today. It's a hard pill to swallow to think about how much different the world would be if Gore were President, instead of Bush.

Last Sunday my mother told me that she had Parkinson's Disease, and had been suffering from it for over 30 years. This was devastating for me; so many childhood memories gained a new clarity, and the tangled knot of guilt I had been saving for just such an occasion came in handy. I'm still working through that, but I have a better handle on it than I did a week ago.

I haven't been very talkative here, mostly because I've been trying to focus on doing instead of talking. It hasn't always worked, but as always, there's progress. My mood keeps going up and coming down more than usual, so on any given day I'm happy, almost beatific, and then angry for no apparent reason, then incredibly sad, and then just tired and amused at myself. It's been a long time since I've felt this...closed inward. Depression has a way of doing that; any external stimulus you get just gets absorbed into your own personal world, all experiences become warped and filtered through an internal lens. I feel myself going that way sometimes, but thankfully I have so many people who can pull my head out of my own ass if it gets too far in. :)

Besides work, there's been the writing group, my biweekly Dungeons and Dragons game, weekly Poker Nights, and other things here and there keeping me busy. mut, toob and I have been watching season three of Battlestar Galactica religiously (that is, when Mat isn't off gallavanting about Europe), and there's also Oz, Supernatural, Reaper, Lost and other things. The summer movie season is ramping up as well, so we'll be seeing a movie a week in theatres from now until August, roughly. Hopefully, this'll make a good excuse to revive 2guysreviews.

Oh yes, and somewhere in there was National Poetry Writing Month. It wasn't easy, but I wrote 30 poems in 30 days.

So that's what I've been up to. How's everyone else doing?

Weight This Week: 167.8 lbs.
Weight Last Week: 168.8 lbs.
Change: -1.0 lb.

Chest Press: 80 lbs.
Bent-Arm Cable Pulldown: 45 lbs. x2, 30 lbs. x1
Push-Ups: 27
Stomach Crunches: 30

Time: 33 minutes
Distance: 3.18 miles
Top Speed: 6.7 mph
Calories: 333

Increased time incrementally; I want to get up to 35 minutes in two weeks, and then concentrate on upping the top speed bit by bit. Right now, I'm warming up, then going straight into 6 mph for 16 minutes, then up to 6.5 mph for 6 minutes, then ramping back down to 6, then 5.5, and then cooling down after minute 31. I'd like to hit 6.5 earlier and earlier until I can do that for, say, switch times. Then try heading up to 7.0 mph, and then increasing time again. I can taste four miles already. :)

The busted treadmill is up to its old tricks again; you set the speed anywhere above 6.0 mph, and it can only manage .2 mph below that until you're good and flying. I sustained 6.7 mph for a few minutes, thus it's my top speed.