The Writing Desk of Jakebe Rabbit

Time: 29 minutes
Distance: 2.76 miles
Top Speed: 6.3 mph
Calories: 289

I also lifted weights on Wednesday, but quit running early because I got a little dizzy and weak. On Thursday night I had this massive coughing fit in the middle of the night. I feel better this weekend, but it feels like I've been fighting something off all week.

wingywoof pointed to this great blog called Zen Habits in one of his posts, and while a lot of the posts can come off a bit New Agey there's a lot of great stuff in there. The guy's got a great practical tone. Anyway, a lot of his fitness posts have helped me with running and exercise late this week.

Still working on getting the diet under control. I've been dialing back the carnivorous portion of my diet bit by bit, and trying to stick to chicken when I do eat meat. I will admit to having a delicious Burger King double cheeseburger earlier in the week though. They're my kryptonite.

I'm really not a cold turkey kind of guy it turns out. Trying to stop eating meat cold just doesn't work, and I'm finding the gradual approach a lot easier. This not only gets me used to the idea of eating consciously (so I'm not just eating whatever I feel like at the time -- which is usually stuff that tastes great but ends up being horrible in the long run), but it also helps with eating out and being social. One of my worst fears is being 'that guy,' the one that everyone else has to plan around when they go out.

Anyway, time for a shower and a shave, some City Lights and then birthday dinner!

Weight: 165.2 lbs.
Weight Last Time: 166.4 lbs.
Change: -0.8 lbs.

Time: 30 minutes
Speed: 6.0 mph
Distance: 2.70 miles
Calories: 276

Chest Press: 60 lbs.
Cable Pulldown: 30 lbs.

This was my first session in a little while, I'm ashamed to admit; first the con and then the flu really took it out of me, and then I just got used to not doing it for a week or two. Now that the last of the cough is gone, though, there really is no excuse to avoid it any longer.

I did all right; this was also the first session since I've changed my diet, and I was worried about what strenuous activity would do. Last time, when I wasn't exactly eating correctly, I would start to hyperventilate and my extremities would tingle if I exercised for a prolonged period. This time wasn't anything like that. My heart rate went up, breathing got heavy, and now that it's over I'm starving. Nothing's changed. :)

Haven't been keeping up either journal as well as I'd like; sorry about that. I've been keeping busy, though, and there's a lot to talk about. Ash Wednesday came and went, and I've given up meat and fish for Lent. What's odd is that I don't really miss it. There's no craving for fast food or even sit down burgers. I don't even really miss chicken, and that's saying something. I'm doing pretty well.

The biggest challenge so far is making sure I'm eating properly. I've found that listening to my body is a pretty good way to figure out what it is I'm needing. This might be a bit of mental projection, but if I feel like eating a salad (and I do quite a bit these days) I'll figure my body needs something there and I'll have a salad. If I have a craving for beans or cheese, I'll be sure to eat something that includes that. So forth and so on.

For Valentine's Day Ryan picked me up from work. We went home, exchanged gifts and watched a movie, then went to Tanglewood for dinner. I gave Ryan chocolates and, er, something else. Ryan gave me a balloon(!) and two books: The Best Places to Kiss in California and Veggie Food, a (surprise!) vegetarian cookbook. He recommended we try cooking things from it at least once a week. This means an awful lot to me; it's a big show of support, and tremendously sweet. I have the best boyfriend ever. :D

At Tanglewood I briefly suspended my vegetarianism. I only feel mildly guilty about this. I got to experience oyster for the first time (I really didn't like it), lobster ravioli with shaved truffles in a wild mushroom sauce (not bad!), prime New York steak with bacon-wrapped mashed potatoes (wow, this was awesome!) and baked Alaskan with homemade strawberry-vanilla ice cream. We added a wine tasting menu thing; I got a chardonnay with the ravioli, and a really great cabernet with the steak. All in all it was just an excellent dinner, though our server wasn't quite as cool as the other fellow last year.

On Saturday we went to Napa Valley/Sonoma County! Hooray! timsusman and his lovely partner Rolo were our guides, and we had the best time ever. It's very easy to be intimidated, not only by the company but by the environment. Wine is one of those subjects that you can be incredibly involved with, but no matter how far in you get there's always going to be someone snobbier than you. (Read: "When Dean Young Talks About Wine")

Thankfully, though, everyone was patient with my constant barrage of questions. It really is neat to learn about the process of winemaking, how and why people become so passionate about it. Like, say, writing, or mathematics, it's a pursuit of exacting perfection that relies on just the right confluence of small, complicated factors. The more you try to control and shape it, the more you discover there to control and shape. It's a fascinating world to get into, and I learned quite a bit. I could talk about it a bit more, but I'm already worried about people imagining me typing with my pinky up.

Work has been stressful for a variety of reasons, but I'm learning how to deal with the stress a little better all the time. I'm very grateful for this. I would say more, but there are other things I have to do before the evening's over. :)

Despite being one of those plague-infested lapines at the moment, I'm here at work doing Service Centery things. I feel pretty good, though my throat is pretty raw and my voice is starting to go again. Still, it's nowhere near as bad as it was on Tuesday, so progress is happening.

The con and the flu combined to kill all writing and exercise over the past...whoa, has it really been almost two weeks? I hope to stem that tide soon.

For lunch today I'm eating a Budget Gourmet ziti parmesan (oh yes, you get what you pay for), some Total Hippie(tm) cherry vanilla yogurt (it's gluten- and gelatin-free!) and an apple...provided that I can actually eat all of that. If you really want to change your diet, just get sick.

I can see myself falling into this pattern, and it troubles me. Getting a cheap but undernourishing vegetarian TV dinner, some yogurt and/or fruit, some chips for lunch every day is not the way I want to go. For one thing, it's lazy. I had everything I need to make a pretty decent sandwich, at least, or a batch of beans and rice, but I didn't. Granted, I'm sick right now, but chances are all the food I bought is going to go bad before I get around to eating it.

The consistent struggle with a multitude of problems -- the food, the writing, the meditation -- can be linked to one major problem: the fact that I'm a morning person. When I get home in the evening, a *lot* of the steam's already run out. I thought shifting my work day to earlier would alleviate this, but apparently it hasn't. There are some benefits, to be sure, but it hasn't been working out nearly as well as I thought it would. Truth be told, I would rather be doing a lot of my stuff earlier in the day but I simply don't have the time to do it. I have to roll out of bed, get dressed, and catch the bus in.

I think in order for me to actually plan out my diet for the day, to prepare for it properly, I'm going to need more time. This means either getting up even earlier for my shift (which would be problematic all on its own) or requesting that my shift be changed back, which is the best option. I'm sure this will make toob delighted. ;)

Alas, it's going to take a little while for the changes to be in effect, unless Lamarr wants to take the early shift right now. It's something I'll have to talk about with a couple of people. But I think it's doable.

I've heard somewhere that fast food is pretty bad for you, and that there's been a campaign mounted while my back is turned for me to abstain from eating it forever! Well, not quite. :)

Fast food and I have an odd but amiable relationship. When I left home to go for college (egads, was that nine years ago?) I never suspected that I would be saying goodbye to it for so long. Down in St. Mary's County, MD, there's only Perkins and IHOP for dining if you wanted someplace to go. Otherwise there was only the cafeteria. I was on the meal plan for most of my time there, and my last semester I had joined the vegetarian co-op, which meant I cooked most of my meals from a rundown kitchen in the basement of a dorm nearly across the campus from mine. I have very fond memories of making stir-fry and singing "Paranoid Android" at the top of my lungs. :)

College didn't work out for a variety of reasons, and then I found myself in northwest Arkansas for the next seven years. That place, contrary to whatever else you might have heard, is the bacon capital of the world! Even the Chinese food in Razorback country is liberally-seasoned with pork fat. I still can't get over the bacon-fried rice you can get there, to this day. It was in this place that I tried to keep my vegetarian ways. To be fair, Fayetteville is actually quite vegetarian-friendly, as long as you know where to go.

One day I woke up with a craving for chicken that just would not go away. It followed me for a solid week, until my mouth would begin to water at just the mention of the word 'chick'. I'm sure people at work must have thought I was going straight in the worst way. I ran down to Burger King once I couldn't take it any more, devoured an original chicken sandwich, and never looked back.

Since then, the relationship has been decidedly love-hate. I'll always have a fondness for that chicken sandwich that brought me back into the folds of omnivorism, but at the same time I'm fully aware of how awful fast food is for your body, for the economy, and for the environment. I've read Fast Food Nation. I've seen Super Size Me. I've sworn off fast food after both, but always come back. Apparently the knowledge of what I was doing to myself (and helping to do to the rest of the world) wasn't enough to break me of my addiction. Because when you get right down to it, a Whopper tastes way too good to give up that easily.

In California, the fast-food chains are just as ubiquitous as they are in Arkansas. True, some of them operate on better business models and try to be the best at what they do (In and Out), but there's no escaping the fact that you're eating something that's just not good.

toob has been trying to kick the habit for some time, and I feel a bit of the responsibility for him not being able to because not only did I re-introduce him to it, I've kept it going by the occasional run to Taco Bell and McDonald's. Anyone in a relationship knows how hard it can be to make a change without the support of your partner.

At the same time, I've been feeling the urge to go back to vegetarianism. My reasoning for it is complex, and I'll get into that later. This is something Ryan isn't inclined to support, which is a big reason why I haven't up until now. But a few days ago I made a pact with him: I'll give up fast food if I can give up meat for 40 days. He's amenable, so...there we are. I know what I'm giving up for Lent. :)

After the forty days, I'll see how I feel about going vegetarian full-time. California is *much* more accommodating for that sort of diet than Arkansas (it's cheaper, is the main thing) and it not encourages me to eat out less, it'll encourage me to cook in more, which is something I've been aching to do.

There'll be a lot more talk about vegetarianism and cooking here, I suspect. I'm going to start researching and reading up on it now, because, well, if this is worth doing it's worth doing well.