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Three Paragraphs
Sep. 20th, 2013 08:54 amSome time ago, I mentioned that I wanted to find a way to differentiate my LiveJournal and my Wordpress blog. I said that I would try to update the LiveJournal a little more often with less polished, more personal entries...and then promptly abandoned that plan. Right now, the LJ blog is just a mirror feed of Wordpress, and while it's handy to boost the signal with my fledgling little pop-culture/storytelling blog, I was never quite comfortable with that. I want something to get my thoughts out in a more-or-less raw form; maybe talking through them will yield fruit for more complete and polished work later.
The Art of Manliness recently posted an essay on the virtues of keeping a daily diary, and it really struck a chord with me. So I'm coming back to that original idea that I posted about so much time ago. This time, I'm trying to focus it a little bit just so I can overcome the barrier that kept me from posting in the first place. My life is so busy, and I'm so bad at time management, that I often feel like I don't have any time to post things any more. So...what I'll do at first is start small. Every day, post at least three paragraphs here about what's going on in any particular day and what I'm thinking. Just to get my foot in the door, so to speak. That allows me enough room to talk about something at a little bit of length while still being short enough that I can squeeze it in before I go to work, or at lunch, or right before bed.
So, besides this, today I'm trying to give the day over to silence. Ryan left for Arkansas and his brother's wedding on Wednesday evening, and for about 24 hours after he left I found that I just couldn't have silence in the house. As soon as he left I turned on the TV and left it on overnight, falling asleep in front of it. As soon as work was over I went right into the living room, logged on to a chat client and turned on the football game. It wasn't just habit; it just felt that if I let the apartment settle and grow quiet, then I would miss him too badly.
There's a lesson in this. I think it's been a long time since I've surrounded myself in silence and let whatever comes, come. There's always work to do -- an embarrassment of riches, even; I have stories to read and critique, books to whittle down, things to write, games to work on, stuff to watch, burrows to clean. And now's a great opportunity to do them, but it's also a great opportunity to sharpen my focus, move slowly, do things mindfully. Embrace the silence to create days of simplicity and purpose. If I get lonely, or bored, or frightened about what I'm missing and whether or not friends will think fondly of me, etc. etc., I can stop and explore those feelings. There's a truth in vulnerability, after all, and allowing myself to explore what makes me afraid or sad isn't a bad thing.
I've stepped away from too much introspection for years now because I came to see it as something as a paralyzing influence. Too much navel-gazing prevents you from making a decision and acting on it, which is valuable for me. I'm over 30 now; with a lot of those long-gestating dreams of mine, it's time to put up or shut up. A philosophy is no good to me if it doesn't encourage me to act. But at the same time, it's good to take up a step back, be still, and make sure that your philosophy is encouraging you to take the right actions.
Sorry, but a lot of posts for the next few weeks might be like this. :)
The Art of Manliness recently posted an essay on the virtues of keeping a daily diary, and it really struck a chord with me. So I'm coming back to that original idea that I posted about so much time ago. This time, I'm trying to focus it a little bit just so I can overcome the barrier that kept me from posting in the first place. My life is so busy, and I'm so bad at time management, that I often feel like I don't have any time to post things any more. So...what I'll do at first is start small. Every day, post at least three paragraphs here about what's going on in any particular day and what I'm thinking. Just to get my foot in the door, so to speak. That allows me enough room to talk about something at a little bit of length while still being short enough that I can squeeze it in before I go to work, or at lunch, or right before bed.
So, besides this, today I'm trying to give the day over to silence. Ryan left for Arkansas and his brother's wedding on Wednesday evening, and for about 24 hours after he left I found that I just couldn't have silence in the house. As soon as he left I turned on the TV and left it on overnight, falling asleep in front of it. As soon as work was over I went right into the living room, logged on to a chat client and turned on the football game. It wasn't just habit; it just felt that if I let the apartment settle and grow quiet, then I would miss him too badly.
There's a lesson in this. I think it's been a long time since I've surrounded myself in silence and let whatever comes, come. There's always work to do -- an embarrassment of riches, even; I have stories to read and critique, books to whittle down, things to write, games to work on, stuff to watch, burrows to clean. And now's a great opportunity to do them, but it's also a great opportunity to sharpen my focus, move slowly, do things mindfully. Embrace the silence to create days of simplicity and purpose. If I get lonely, or bored, or frightened about what I'm missing and whether or not friends will think fondly of me, etc. etc., I can stop and explore those feelings. There's a truth in vulnerability, after all, and allowing myself to explore what makes me afraid or sad isn't a bad thing.
I've stepped away from too much introspection for years now because I came to see it as something as a paralyzing influence. Too much navel-gazing prevents you from making a decision and acting on it, which is valuable for me. I'm over 30 now; with a lot of those long-gestating dreams of mine, it's time to put up or shut up. A philosophy is no good to me if it doesn't encourage me to act. But at the same time, it's good to take up a step back, be still, and make sure that your philosophy is encouraging you to take the right actions.
Sorry, but a lot of posts for the next few weeks might be like this. :)
