Across Compassion

Hey there, all...

Day's turning out to be pretty OK. Had a nice long talk with 2_gryphon about all kinds of Important Stuff, and I feel better, I hope he does, too.

I would very much like to be a rock for people to lean on, one of those stalwart, always there kind of people that people know will make them feel better no matter what. I would like to think that I could still maintain the ideal of human beauty and compassion in the worst circumstances, that the light of wonder and hope and everything that I'd consider to make humans worthy of our 'special' status will never fade from my mind, no matter the devastation. I know, beyond the shadow of all doubts, though, that I am a long way off from achieving that state.

A lot of it, I think, is that I haven't cultivated the ideal of selflessness. So many people down the idea of being completely selfless, like selfless = victim, or needlessly pious, or just stupidly and blindly putting other people's needs before your own, ignoring your own well-being. Selflessness is more than that, though. It's *needing* to put other people's needs before your own, so that when you give someone that piece of food that put you between starvation and survival for the next little bit, everyone's needs are fulfilled.

There's a simple purity in the selfless, contemplative existence that I adore. There's also a sense of self-reliance ingrained in that attitude. Everything you need to survive is what you create. I suppose in a base, psychological way, the idea of not being hurt by other people's actions has a pretty big pull, too. People are people, and as such they're imperfect. That's really hard to accept sometimes, though.

jtskunk pointed out the atrocities that were going on in Israel in his journal, and it's...enough to make you despair on the state of the world, just knowing that something that horrific is going on, and its perpetrators are people who should know better, and everyone who are best equipped to do something about it are just turning the other way and focusing on war-mongering of their own. It's overwhelming to think about. There comes a point where the conflict loses all sense and cohesion, and the object is no longer to stop the conflict but to hurt as many people as possible. What I've been reading tells me that somehow Israel crossed that line a long time ago, and there aren't many people who know anything about it.

That's why I think it's insanely important for some of us to strive to that selfless state of existence. There are so many people who are so ready to sink to such ugly levels, and when ugliness is all you see around you it's that much more important to try and foster anything beautiful that you can. It's past the point that anyone can just sit back and watch everything that's worth it get swallowed up by shit. I think it's time more people became aggressively positive.

Played Dungeons and Dragons last night, and while I kind of hesitate to give game summaries in the Journal, this one deserves mention.

( Don't read this unless you think hobbits are really cool. )

Things to do today:

1. Write!
2. Start sacking clothes and other things that I don't use/need.
3. Shave my head.
4. Read!
5. Budget my money for the next few months. PMP to pay for.