The Crescendo
Sep. 20th, 2004 07:42 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jakebe
I haven't been updating very regularly, mainly because I've felt that I don't really have anything interesting to say. I could spend hours sitting here thinking about my life instead of living it, and I think I'm finally coming out of my navel-gazing phase. :)
Ever since California I've been infused with a new sense of purpose in my life, a better attitude about who I am and where I'm going. When I was there, I wasn't *trying* to be anyone, wasn't striving to fit a particular mode or niche; I just was who I was, and that was enough. If I felt like being quiet, I was quiet. If I felt like being spacy, well, I could do that, too. I couldn't belch without the horrid pallor of guilt hanging lowly over my head, but well, you know, you kind of unlearn civilization when you're in Arkansas.
Newness became this wonderful thing instead of something unknown and scary. I could talk to people without worrying about looking like a complete ditz (because, face it, California kind of corners the market on those :D), I could be as friendly or as withdrawn as I wanted to be and it was OK. It was an amazing experience that made me rethink how I handle people in general, what I think about the public at large. My opinion of them became...not lower, but different. I grew more aware of their faults but at the same time I was able to recognize that people are just people, and they're going to be complete fuck-ups from time to time. While this might annoy or upset me because of my own flaws and imperfections, this is all right. Even if I decide I don't *like* a person, I wouldn't call them 'bad'. Just incompatible. And even if I really, really don't like someone, I can still have a certain unexplained affection for them, just because they're well, people. I feel this is a good place for a writer to be.
As such, I've been trying to write a lot more and I've met limited success in that regard. I still slack an awful lot, but the urge to create is so deeply ingrained that I have to spend at least five minutes a day poking around with words in some way. A lot of what that's produced isn't really showable, but it's *something*. The seeds are there and they're germinating in their own little ways.
Hit the ground running since I came back from my trip, and this weekend was the first chance I really got to kind of stop.
Ever since California I've been infused with a new sense of purpose in my life, a better attitude about who I am and where I'm going. When I was there, I wasn't *trying* to be anyone, wasn't striving to fit a particular mode or niche; I just was who I was, and that was enough. If I felt like being quiet, I was quiet. If I felt like being spacy, well, I could do that, too. I couldn't belch without the horrid pallor of guilt hanging lowly over my head, but well, you know, you kind of unlearn civilization when you're in Arkansas.
Newness became this wonderful thing instead of something unknown and scary. I could talk to people without worrying about looking like a complete ditz (because, face it, California kind of corners the market on those :D), I could be as friendly or as withdrawn as I wanted to be and it was OK. It was an amazing experience that made me rethink how I handle people in general, what I think about the public at large. My opinion of them became...not lower, but different. I grew more aware of their faults but at the same time I was able to recognize that people are just people, and they're going to be complete fuck-ups from time to time. While this might annoy or upset me because of my own flaws and imperfections, this is all right. Even if I decide I don't *like* a person, I wouldn't call them 'bad'. Just incompatible. And even if I really, really don't like someone, I can still have a certain unexplained affection for them, just because they're well, people. I feel this is a good place for a writer to be.
As such, I've been trying to write a lot more and I've met limited success in that regard. I still slack an awful lot, but the urge to create is so deeply ingrained that I have to spend at least five minutes a day poking around with words in some way. A lot of what that's produced isn't really showable, but it's *something*. The seeds are there and they're germinating in their own little ways.
Hit the ground running since I came back from my trip, and this weekend was the first chance I really got to kind of stop.
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I haven't been updating very regularly, mainly because I've felt that I don't really have anything interesting to say. I could spend hours sitting here thinking about my life instead of living it, and I think I'm finally coming out of my navel-gazing phase. :)
Ever since California I've been infused with a new sense of purpose in my life, a better attitude about who I am and where I'm going. When I was there, I wasn't *trying* to be anyone, wasn't striving to fit a particular mode or niche; I just was who I was, and that was enough. If I felt like being quiet, I was quiet. If I felt like being spacy, well, I could do that, too. I couldn't belch without the horrid pallor of guilt hanging lowly over my head, but well, you know, you kind of unlearn civilization when you're in Arkansas.
Newness became this wonderful thing instead of something unknown and scary. I could talk to people without worrying about looking like a complete ditz (because, face it, California kind of corners the market on those :D), I could be as friendly or as withdrawn as I wanted to be and it was OK. It was an amazing experience that made me rethink how I handle people in general, what I think about the public at large. My opinion of them became...not lower, but different. I grew more aware of their faults but at the same time I was able to recognize that people are just people, and they're going to be complete fuck-ups from time to time. While this might annoy or upset me because of my own flaws and imperfections, this is all right. Even if I decide I don't *like* a person, I wouldn't call them 'bad'. Just incompatible. And even if I really, really don't like someone, I can still have a certain unexplained affection for them, just because they're well, people. I feel this is a good place for a writer to be.
As such, I've been trying to write a lot more and I've met limited success in that regard. I still slack an awful lot, but the urge to create is so deeply ingrained that I have to spend at least five minutes a day poking around with words in some way. A lot of what that's produced isn't really showable, but it's *something*. The seeds are there and they're germinating in their own little ways.
Hit the ground running since I came back from my trip, and this weekend was the first chance I really got to kind of stop. <:) Last weekend, Mordenheim and Lyanna came down for camping and general merriment, and that was pretty nice. Somehow, I managed to get sick a day before they arrived, so when they got here I was pretty much the way they remembered me; full of stuff in my head that all needed to come out at once. Nonetheless, we went camping, told stories, ate S'mores, did that whole thing. Mord and I bonded with tent duty, which was kind of hard in the rocky clay of the Ozarks. But we managed.
Anyway, got sicker from that whole thing, and I'm *still* dealing with it, like, a week later. I think it's time to bring in the big guns; DayQuil only does so much, but a very fixed regimen of tea, hot breakfasts and baths, antibiotics and vitamins and NO FAST FOOD should help. I'll probably head to the natural food store to see what sort of supplements they've got. Of course I'm only saying this. Tonight it'll be McDonald's and showers. :D
This weekend, Sherri came up from <s>Bumfuck</s> DeQueen, Arkansas for Silver's birthday and...just because. We watched "Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow" on Saturday and "Open Water" on Sunday.
"Sky Captain" held up its end of the bargain visually, with a style and sense of flair that just couldn't be matched. The robots were spot on, all the tricks they mined from the films of the 30s were great to see, and the costume design and lighting were perfect. However, the characters and story were so incredibly thin it just wasn't something you could *really* get excited about. It became rather painstakingly clear that beyond wanting to make a movie that was just like those 30s pulp adventure stories, the director/writer/creator had no idea what to do. Jude Law and Gwynneth Paltrow were almost completely wasted, but Angelina Jolie came in and woke everyone up. She was easily the best part in the entire movie (other than the visuals), though the last line was totally worth sitting through the movie for. Lenscap!
"Open Water" was even more disappointing than "Sky Captain." I'm pretty sure I'll be able to see more merit on a second viewing...at least I hope I do. But as it stands, the movie never lived up to the potential of being a really interesting, much less really scary, film. The actors playing the husband and wife were actually really good, but the writing never really took off the way it needed to. The choices the director made in terms of music was jarring (I mean, really, are songs of native children really appropriate?), and a lot of lines just struck as way too funny to be really horrifying. The director took a great situation, a really *rich* idea, and squandered it by laying on the cheese a bit too thickly. Bah.
We made ourselves feel better with some ice cream, and after Sherri had to go home. Other stuff happened, like Odis' new Dragonlance game (which was much fun) but I shall have to wait until a little later to tell you about that. For now, a bit of writing before work.
Ever since California I've been infused with a new sense of purpose in my life, a better attitude about who I am and where I'm going. When I was there, I wasn't *trying* to be anyone, wasn't striving to fit a particular mode or niche; I just was who I was, and that was enough. If I felt like being quiet, I was quiet. If I felt like being spacy, well, I could do that, too. I couldn't belch without the horrid pallor of guilt hanging lowly over my head, but well, you know, you kind of unlearn civilization when you're in Arkansas.
Newness became this wonderful thing instead of something unknown and scary. I could talk to people without worrying about looking like a complete ditz (because, face it, California kind of corners the market on those :D), I could be as friendly or as withdrawn as I wanted to be and it was OK. It was an amazing experience that made me rethink how I handle people in general, what I think about the public at large. My opinion of them became...not lower, but different. I grew more aware of their faults but at the same time I was able to recognize that people are just people, and they're going to be complete fuck-ups from time to time. While this might annoy or upset me because of my own flaws and imperfections, this is all right. Even if I decide I don't *like* a person, I wouldn't call them 'bad'. Just incompatible. And even if I really, really don't like someone, I can still have a certain unexplained affection for them, just because they're well, people. I feel this is a good place for a writer to be.
As such, I've been trying to write a lot more and I've met limited success in that regard. I still slack an awful lot, but the urge to create is so deeply ingrained that I have to spend at least five minutes a day poking around with words in some way. A lot of what that's produced isn't really showable, but it's *something*. The seeds are there and they're germinating in their own little ways.
Hit the ground running since I came back from my trip, and this weekend was the first chance I really got to kind of stop. <:) Last weekend, Mordenheim and Lyanna came down for camping and general merriment, and that was pretty nice. Somehow, I managed to get sick a day before they arrived, so when they got here I was pretty much the way they remembered me; full of stuff in my head that all needed to come out at once. Nonetheless, we went camping, told stories, ate S'mores, did that whole thing. Mord and I bonded with tent duty, which was kind of hard in the rocky clay of the Ozarks. But we managed.
Anyway, got sicker from that whole thing, and I'm *still* dealing with it, like, a week later. I think it's time to bring in the big guns; DayQuil only does so much, but a very fixed regimen of tea, hot breakfasts and baths, antibiotics and vitamins and NO FAST FOOD should help. I'll probably head to the natural food store to see what sort of supplements they've got. Of course I'm only saying this. Tonight it'll be McDonald's and showers. :D
This weekend, Sherri came up from <s>Bumfuck</s> DeQueen, Arkansas for Silver's birthday and...just because. We watched "Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow" on Saturday and "Open Water" on Sunday.
"Sky Captain" held up its end of the bargain visually, with a style and sense of flair that just couldn't be matched. The robots were spot on, all the tricks they mined from the films of the 30s were great to see, and the costume design and lighting were perfect. However, the characters and story were so incredibly thin it just wasn't something you could *really* get excited about. It became rather painstakingly clear that beyond wanting to make a movie that was just like those 30s pulp adventure stories, the director/writer/creator had no idea what to do. Jude Law and Gwynneth Paltrow were almost completely wasted, but Angelina Jolie came in and woke everyone up. She was easily the best part in the entire movie (other than the visuals), though the last line was totally worth sitting through the movie for. Lenscap!
"Open Water" was even more disappointing than "Sky Captain." I'm pretty sure I'll be able to see more merit on a second viewing...at least I hope I do. But as it stands, the movie never lived up to the potential of being a really interesting, much less really scary, film. The actors playing the husband and wife were actually really good, but the writing never really took off the way it needed to. The choices the director made in terms of music was jarring (I mean, really, are songs of native children really appropriate?), and a lot of lines just struck as way too funny to be really horrifying. The director took a great situation, a really *rich* idea, and squandered it by laying on the cheese a bit too thickly. Bah.
We made ourselves feel better with some ice cream, and after Sherri had to go home. Other stuff happened, like Odis' new Dragonlance game (which was much fun) but I shall have to wait until a little later to tell you about that. For now, a bit of writing before work.
