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jakebe
Hey there, all...
I've been pretty half-assed about trying to remember dreams lately, but this one was pretty interesting and (I feel) pretty important, so I feel the need to share.
Anyone who knows me knows that I'm an apocalyptic nut. Over the past few weeks I've been thinking about the end of the world a bit more frequently, mostly thanks to Remnants. I'll be sitting in a movie theatre, or shelving books, or watching TV and the idea will suddenly pop into my head that we could get hit with an asteroid right now and everything would just...*stop*, and most of us would never see it coming.
I guess the subject has finally worked its way into my subconscious, because last night I had this dream about it.
The world was going to end, and humanity knew about it. I was living in this wonderful port city; it looked like Sydney, Australia, except the Opera House was a lot smaller, and looked to be made out of raw cast iron. Maybe it was just a replica, I'm not sure.
Anyway, everyone was surprisingly cool about it. Of course, most people wanted to go out in a final blaze of glory, so there were horse races and tennis cups (Andre Agassi won the world's last Australian Open) and parties downtown where the shop and bar owners let beer and liquor and food run free. There was no vandalism, there were no shootings; it was like a big Mardi Gras celebration without the jack-asses. People were hugging each other and weeping in the streets, not only because they were scared or afraid about death, but because this one last blowout reminded people how great humanity was, and could be.
I had a girlfriend, and a best friend, whom I was with the entire time. The day before the end we went down to see the finals of the Open, but it was more about the party than the tennis match. I kept this gnawing...feeling in the back of my head, about what I would do when the end came. Would I go down to a Buddhist/Yoga meditation class and join the group one last time? Would I meditate with my girlfriend and best friend in my apartment? Would I just walk around the empty streets and let myself get carried away on the shockwave?
The night drew to a close, and I walked downtown for a bit. People were really drunk and loud, and there was this *one* officer hanging out with them, just drinking and telling them they had to go home at midnight tonight so they could keep the city clean for the morning. I had no idea why it was so important for the city to be clean, but it really impressed me that he cared that much about it. When you looked up at the sky, it was like the Northern Lights were all over the world; there were big flash-sheets of light just draping the sky, blinking on and off like lightning without clouds. It was one of the most beautiful things I had ever seen.
Anyway, I went to bed, and I woke up in a stab of panic. I just...didn't want to be around when the rock hit, and so I grabbed a gun, and I shot myself in the face, through the mouth with the muzzle pointed at the roof. For some reason, I survived, with a minimum of damage. I felt groggy and weird though, and one side of my mouth had been ripped open, to my cheek. My girlfriend came in, and we had this weird sort of exchange, where I was trying to flatter her into forgiveness, and even help me kill myself. She just told me that would be attempted murder, took the clip out of the gun, and walked off. Looking back on it, I don't think I could have killed myself at all that day. Maybe it was a miracle, eh?
I remember opening the floor to ceiling windows of the apartment, and looking out at the city. The sun was just rising, and so there was this lazy, slanted light on all of the buildings. I loved it, and just like that, I was peaceful again. I was scared, and I was nervous, but I was ready.
Our apartment was right on this river that emptied out into the harbor, so there were streets in front of the buildings, but nothing across them; just docks and a river wide enough to have ships run through. There were buildings on the other side too, all made of stone and brick. To the right, there were boats tied to docks that would never be used again.
My friend and I went outside on a roof/balcony, and we saw four small rocks streak towards the sky and set the port on fire, not too far away from us. We were so relaxed about it. We just talked for a while, when we saw the big one streak downward, and we watched it go until it disappeared below the skyline. We waited for like, ten seconds, then twenty, and there was this weird swell in my heart, like, This is it. God, I'm so scared, but what a rush! Then my friend started to say something, but we were blown away by the shockwave. The last thing I remembered was just being enormously thankful and proud for everything. We had a great run.
That's how I like to think I would handle the end, but chances are the panic of others would just wear on me. And who's to say I wouldn't panic too? It's amazing to me how perception colors everything. When given a situation that will not change, how you handle it determines a lot about its nature. Even the worst, seemingly impossible situation can be a positive one if faced with optimism and humor.
Speaking of which, I redid Native Americans, Black Studies, Folklore and Mythology at work this week.![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
aubrin was kind enough to wait until 10 p.m. last night to let me finish, so this morning I can just focus on Internet orders that have been sadly neglected. Hopefully, when I get home, I'll finally get down to writing, too.
There's a fair cover of wet snow on the ground, but nothing for anyone to get in bunches over. I was thinking last night how I'm really looking forward to spring. I love winter and all, but the smell of rain and new growth has a feeling all its own.
I've been pretty half-assed about trying to remember dreams lately, but this one was pretty interesting and (I feel) pretty important, so I feel the need to share.
Anyone who knows me knows that I'm an apocalyptic nut. Over the past few weeks I've been thinking about the end of the world a bit more frequently, mostly thanks to Remnants. I'll be sitting in a movie theatre, or shelving books, or watching TV and the idea will suddenly pop into my head that we could get hit with an asteroid right now and everything would just...*stop*, and most of us would never see it coming.
I guess the subject has finally worked its way into my subconscious, because last night I had this dream about it.
The world was going to end, and humanity knew about it. I was living in this wonderful port city; it looked like Sydney, Australia, except the Opera House was a lot smaller, and looked to be made out of raw cast iron. Maybe it was just a replica, I'm not sure.
Anyway, everyone was surprisingly cool about it. Of course, most people wanted to go out in a final blaze of glory, so there were horse races and tennis cups (Andre Agassi won the world's last Australian Open) and parties downtown where the shop and bar owners let beer and liquor and food run free. There was no vandalism, there were no shootings; it was like a big Mardi Gras celebration without the jack-asses. People were hugging each other and weeping in the streets, not only because they were scared or afraid about death, but because this one last blowout reminded people how great humanity was, and could be.
I had a girlfriend, and a best friend, whom I was with the entire time. The day before the end we went down to see the finals of the Open, but it was more about the party than the tennis match. I kept this gnawing...feeling in the back of my head, about what I would do when the end came. Would I go down to a Buddhist/Yoga meditation class and join the group one last time? Would I meditate with my girlfriend and best friend in my apartment? Would I just walk around the empty streets and let myself get carried away on the shockwave?
The night drew to a close, and I walked downtown for a bit. People were really drunk and loud, and there was this *one* officer hanging out with them, just drinking and telling them they had to go home at midnight tonight so they could keep the city clean for the morning. I had no idea why it was so important for the city to be clean, but it really impressed me that he cared that much about it. When you looked up at the sky, it was like the Northern Lights were all over the world; there were big flash-sheets of light just draping the sky, blinking on and off like lightning without clouds. It was one of the most beautiful things I had ever seen.
Anyway, I went to bed, and I woke up in a stab of panic. I just...didn't want to be around when the rock hit, and so I grabbed a gun, and I shot myself in the face, through the mouth with the muzzle pointed at the roof. For some reason, I survived, with a minimum of damage. I felt groggy and weird though, and one side of my mouth had been ripped open, to my cheek. My girlfriend came in, and we had this weird sort of exchange, where I was trying to flatter her into forgiveness, and even help me kill myself. She just told me that would be attempted murder, took the clip out of the gun, and walked off. Looking back on it, I don't think I could have killed myself at all that day. Maybe it was a miracle, eh?
I remember opening the floor to ceiling windows of the apartment, and looking out at the city. The sun was just rising, and so there was this lazy, slanted light on all of the buildings. I loved it, and just like that, I was peaceful again. I was scared, and I was nervous, but I was ready.
Our apartment was right on this river that emptied out into the harbor, so there were streets in front of the buildings, but nothing across them; just docks and a river wide enough to have ships run through. There were buildings on the other side too, all made of stone and brick. To the right, there were boats tied to docks that would never be used again.
My friend and I went outside on a roof/balcony, and we saw four small rocks streak towards the sky and set the port on fire, not too far away from us. We were so relaxed about it. We just talked for a while, when we saw the big one streak downward, and we watched it go until it disappeared below the skyline. We waited for like, ten seconds, then twenty, and there was this weird swell in my heart, like, This is it. God, I'm so scared, but what a rush! Then my friend started to say something, but we were blown away by the shockwave. The last thing I remembered was just being enormously thankful and proud for everything. We had a great run.
That's how I like to think I would handle the end, but chances are the panic of others would just wear on me. And who's to say I wouldn't panic too? It's amazing to me how perception colors everything. When given a situation that will not change, how you handle it determines a lot about its nature. Even the worst, seemingly impossible situation can be a positive one if faced with optimism and humor.
Speaking of which, I redid Native Americans, Black Studies, Folklore and Mythology at work this week.
aubrin was kind enough to wait until 10 p.m. last night to let me finish, so this morning I can just focus on Internet orders that have been sadly neglected. Hopefully, when I get home, I'll finally get down to writing, too.There's a fair cover of wet snow on the ground, but nothing for anyone to get in bunches over. I was thinking last night how I'm really looking forward to spring. I love winter and all, but the smell of rain and new growth has a feeling all its own.
