Right Effort
Feb. 5th, 2003 01:26 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jakebe
Hey there, all...
Today started well. Instead of slothing around when the alarm got me up, I took a moment or two to gather and center, took a shower and (sort of) cleaned my room. In the shower, I made a surprise discovery: I actually *have* a bicep! Woo hoo! Somehow I knew sloughing those books around all the time would pay off eventually. :)
I got quite a bit accomplished at work as well. I straightened and alphabetized the Native American and Black Studies section, and tomorrow I should be able to get to Folklore and Mythology. That should clear up a bit of room for Poetry to bleed into -- it needs some space really, really bad. I also managed to 'make space where there is none', which is one of those attributes that comes in really handy if you work at a used bookshop.
I haven't had much time to write lately; the weekend was spent visiting Kevin and Don, two friends of mine who are moving to Eureka Springs sometime later in the year, and I've been involved in RPGs for the past two nights. Tomorrow's my late day, though, so hopefully I'll get to do a bit of writing, if I can manage to stay focused. I'd really like to have the Changeling game summaries finished, as well as getting Boomer Express done for February and March, so I can spend the second half of the week figuring out a more distinct map for ??Salvation?? and *finally* getting started on short stories that I want to get done.
Right now, I don't even miss being on-line. That sounds like a bad statement, but it's true. Sure, I miss the opportunity to hang out with friends, RP with folks and the like, but I'm also spending my time more productively/socially then spending those hours just...doing nothing while waiting for friends to be free. I'm going to have to get better at sending e-mails, too; there are a few people I'd like to keep in touch with while I'm away.
I've been thinking about going vegetarian again for the past few weeks. It's primarily a health concern, but the whole Buddhist thing is helping it along as well. :) As much as I'd like, I really don't have much of a reason for it beyond that, and that kind of bothers me. I don't think it's as big a deal as it's made out to be, and it would make my life more difficult than I can handle right now. I think I'll just try cutting down on a lot of heavy foods, stick to more fruits, vegetables and grains and see how that does. Maybe eventually I'll cut meat from my diet, but I'm not doing it cold turkey.
I'm feeling comfortable in my detachment right now, but a bit apprehensive for friends who I'd like to talk to more. I just never really know what to say to folks one on one. I hate to come off as one of those self-absorbed bastards who only talk about themselves and how things relate to them, but I fear that my largely silent stance with folks, combined with the fact that I really only update my journal religiously, does just that. So I want to say *something* to people, I just don't know what. I feel awkward around most people these days.
I really wish I could be more honest with people, about myself, about the way I see the world in general, but that's something that most people just don't want to deal with. So many people just have it in them to tear other people down, or sometimes what I say just seems really callous, and it almost never works out. I'm also really apprehensive about 'forcing my beliefs' on people; most people follow the paths they're on for a reason, and I would hate it if someone preached to me about this and that.
There are a lot of things that I'm about to jump into head-first, with no indication on how it's going to turn out. That scares me, but I think I'm ready for things this time. I have enough experience and confidence to know when a situation is and isn't working, but my only worry is that I may not have the courage to do anything but stand still when it's time to move. I'll have to work on that.
Today started well. Instead of slothing around when the alarm got me up, I took a moment or two to gather and center, took a shower and (sort of) cleaned my room. In the shower, I made a surprise discovery: I actually *have* a bicep! Woo hoo! Somehow I knew sloughing those books around all the time would pay off eventually. :)
I got quite a bit accomplished at work as well. I straightened and alphabetized the Native American and Black Studies section, and tomorrow I should be able to get to Folklore and Mythology. That should clear up a bit of room for Poetry to bleed into -- it needs some space really, really bad. I also managed to 'make space where there is none', which is one of those attributes that comes in really handy if you work at a used bookshop.
I haven't had much time to write lately; the weekend was spent visiting Kevin and Don, two friends of mine who are moving to Eureka Springs sometime later in the year, and I've been involved in RPGs for the past two nights. Tomorrow's my late day, though, so hopefully I'll get to do a bit of writing, if I can manage to stay focused. I'd really like to have the Changeling game summaries finished, as well as getting Boomer Express done for February and March, so I can spend the second half of the week figuring out a more distinct map for ??Salvation?? and *finally* getting started on short stories that I want to get done.
Right now, I don't even miss being on-line. That sounds like a bad statement, but it's true. Sure, I miss the opportunity to hang out with friends, RP with folks and the like, but I'm also spending my time more productively/socially then spending those hours just...doing nothing while waiting for friends to be free. I'm going to have to get better at sending e-mails, too; there are a few people I'd like to keep in touch with while I'm away.
I've been thinking about going vegetarian again for the past few weeks. It's primarily a health concern, but the whole Buddhist thing is helping it along as well. :) As much as I'd like, I really don't have much of a reason for it beyond that, and that kind of bothers me. I don't think it's as big a deal as it's made out to be, and it would make my life more difficult than I can handle right now. I think I'll just try cutting down on a lot of heavy foods, stick to more fruits, vegetables and grains and see how that does. Maybe eventually I'll cut meat from my diet, but I'm not doing it cold turkey.
I'm feeling comfortable in my detachment right now, but a bit apprehensive for friends who I'd like to talk to more. I just never really know what to say to folks one on one. I hate to come off as one of those self-absorbed bastards who only talk about themselves and how things relate to them, but I fear that my largely silent stance with folks, combined with the fact that I really only update my journal religiously, does just that. So I want to say *something* to people, I just don't know what. I feel awkward around most people these days.
I really wish I could be more honest with people, about myself, about the way I see the world in general, but that's something that most people just don't want to deal with. So many people just have it in them to tear other people down, or sometimes what I say just seems really callous, and it almost never works out. I'm also really apprehensive about 'forcing my beliefs' on people; most people follow the paths they're on for a reason, and I would hate it if someone preached to me about this and that.
There are a lot of things that I'm about to jump into head-first, with no indication on how it's going to turn out. That scares me, but I think I'm ready for things this time. I have enough experience and confidence to know when a situation is and isn't working, but my only worry is that I may not have the courage to do anything but stand still when it's time to move. I'll have to work on that.
