Never Quite What You Want
Oct. 30th, 2002 09:59 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jakebe
Hey there, all...
Spent the morning being hounded by people I didn't necessarily want to be hounded by, while being politely shunned by people I *did* want to talk to. I hate to think that I'm one of those people that hounds folks when they don't really want to talk to me, but that's a feeling I can't shake.
Should I be grateful when I receive attention and hang out with folks that I really don't feel fit, or should I blow them off with a nice "You're not my type?". I get the feeling that I'm at that mid-point on a totem pole, pursuing other things while being pursued. And something tells me that karma pretty much dictates what my eventual outcome will be, based on my decision. I want to do the right thing, but I don't want to be dishonest. Grr.
NaNoWriMo is two days away. My Excite fortune cookie told me to "grab the brass ring" in that amount of time. OK, sure...I don't know if I can hold on to it for another thirty, though.
Spent the morning being hounded by people I didn't necessarily want to be hounded by, while being politely shunned by people I *did* want to talk to. I hate to think that I'm one of those people that hounds folks when they don't really want to talk to me, but that's a feeling I can't shake.
Should I be grateful when I receive attention and hang out with folks that I really don't feel fit, or should I blow them off with a nice "You're not my type?". I get the feeling that I'm at that mid-point on a totem pole, pursuing other things while being pursued. And something tells me that karma pretty much dictates what my eventual outcome will be, based on my decision. I want to do the right thing, but I don't want to be dishonest. Grr.
NaNoWriMo is two days away. My Excite fortune cookie told me to "grab the brass ring" in that amount of time. OK, sure...I don't know if I can hold on to it for another thirty, though.
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Hey there, all...
Spent the morning being hounded by people I didn't necessarily want to be hounded by, while being politely shunned by people I *did* want to talk to. I hate to think that I'm one of those people that hounds folks when they don't really want to talk to me, but that's a feeling I can't shake.
Should I be grateful when I receive attention and hang out with folks that I really don't feel fit, or should I blow them off with a nice "You're not my type?". I get the feeling that I'm at that mid-point on a totem pole, pursuing other things while being pursued. And something tells me that karma pretty much dictates what my eventual outcome will be, based on my decision. I want to do the right thing, but I don't want to be dishonest. Grr.
NaNoWriMo is two days away. My Excite fortune cookie told me to "grab the brass ring" in that amount of time. OK, sure...I don't know if I can hold on to it for another thirty, though. <:)
I need to simplify. Maybe I should just concentrate on being with one person only for a while on-line, so I can learn, well...the value of giving someone my full attention. Maybe the connection that I need just stems from the idea of not being in so many places at once, no matter how much I'd like to be around for as many friends as possible. No matter what, I always feel like I'm missing out on something. The world is a very big place, and I just can't be everywhere at once.
Today's Wednesday, which means that I really don't have anything much planned for tonight. I'd like to get in an RP with one or two folks, but we'll see how that goes. Now that I finally have a bit of free time, the folks that I'd like to catch up with will probably be busy. :)
Things I would like to get done today:
<ol>
<li><a href="http://boomerexpress.keenspace.com">Boomer Express</a> for November.</li>
<li>Finish up the character bios for ??Salvation??</li>
<li>Upload all of the books that are slated for sale on eBay</li>
<li>Finish an outline for Attempt No. 5 and write the first letter.</li>
<li>Try to cut back on eating so much food.</li>
</ol>
I've had this weird problem with food lately. I've been really weird about...acquiring it. Not eating it necessarily, just having it, to carry with me. There's always cookies and popcorn on my person, without fail, and for lunch today I plan on having all the stuff that I've had for a bit: popcorn chicken, light butter popcorn, lemon sandwich cookies, apple pastry, a ginger cookie and double chocolate cookie. I also have two or three half-drunk bottles of water just standing about looking forlornly at me.
I wonder what all that's about? I assume I'm just needing to express the desire for comfort in some weird subconscious way. :)
"Rent" comes to Arkansas this weekend. It snuck up on me! I'm going to buy tickets today; I'd like someone to come with me, but everyone's either poor, preparing for MFF, previously occupied on Friday night or any combination or collection of the three. I'll probably try and find Don so I can grab a seat with him, then walk over to 2's house when it's over. I hope someone's there. O.o Crap, I should probably talk to someone about that. <:)
Lots of little things nibbling away at me. I really, really need to simplify.
One last thing: a Net quiz. <:) Like <user site="livejournal.com" user="sylvan">, I always thought of myself as more chaotic good, but the way they explain things here it makes sense too. I'm not out to go "Fuck law!" for its own sake, but I will fight it if it gets stupid or overly repressive. Standards for conduct are needed in any large society, but personal freedom is just as important.
<center><a href="http://liquid2k.com/nethercrawler/alignmentquiz.html" target="new"><img src="http://liquid2k.com/nethercrawler/images/neutralgood2.jpg" border=0></a>
<br><a href="http://liquid2k.com/nethercrawler/alignmentquiz.html" target="new">What's *your* true alignment?</a>
<br>This quiz was made by <user site="livejournal.com" user="TitanGhost"></center>
Spent the morning being hounded by people I didn't necessarily want to be hounded by, while being politely shunned by people I *did* want to talk to. I hate to think that I'm one of those people that hounds folks when they don't really want to talk to me, but that's a feeling I can't shake.
Should I be grateful when I receive attention and hang out with folks that I really don't feel fit, or should I blow them off with a nice "You're not my type?". I get the feeling that I'm at that mid-point on a totem pole, pursuing other things while being pursued. And something tells me that karma pretty much dictates what my eventual outcome will be, based on my decision. I want to do the right thing, but I don't want to be dishonest. Grr.
NaNoWriMo is two days away. My Excite fortune cookie told me to "grab the brass ring" in that amount of time. OK, sure...I don't know if I can hold on to it for another thirty, though. <:)
I need to simplify. Maybe I should just concentrate on being with one person only for a while on-line, so I can learn, well...the value of giving someone my full attention. Maybe the connection that I need just stems from the idea of not being in so many places at once, no matter how much I'd like to be around for as many friends as possible. No matter what, I always feel like I'm missing out on something. The world is a very big place, and I just can't be everywhere at once.
Today's Wednesday, which means that I really don't have anything much planned for tonight. I'd like to get in an RP with one or two folks, but we'll see how that goes. Now that I finally have a bit of free time, the folks that I'd like to catch up with will probably be busy. :)
Things I would like to get done today:
<ol>
<li><a href="http://boomerexpress.keenspace.com">Boomer Express</a> for November.</li>
<li>Finish up the character bios for ??Salvation??</li>
<li>Upload all of the books that are slated for sale on eBay</li>
<li>Finish an outline for Attempt No. 5 and write the first letter.</li>
<li>Try to cut back on eating so much food.</li>
</ol>
I've had this weird problem with food lately. I've been really weird about...acquiring it. Not eating it necessarily, just having it, to carry with me. There's always cookies and popcorn on my person, without fail, and for lunch today I plan on having all the stuff that I've had for a bit: popcorn chicken, light butter popcorn, lemon sandwich cookies, apple pastry, a ginger cookie and double chocolate cookie. I also have two or three half-drunk bottles of water just standing about looking forlornly at me.
I wonder what all that's about? I assume I'm just needing to express the desire for comfort in some weird subconscious way. :)
"Rent" comes to Arkansas this weekend. It snuck up on me! I'm going to buy tickets today; I'd like someone to come with me, but everyone's either poor, preparing for MFF, previously occupied on Friday night or any combination or collection of the three. I'll probably try and find Don so I can grab a seat with him, then walk over to 2's house when it's over. I hope someone's there. O.o Crap, I should probably talk to someone about that. <:)
Lots of little things nibbling away at me. I really, really need to simplify.
One last thing: a Net quiz. <:) Like <user site="livejournal.com" user="sylvan">, I always thought of myself as more chaotic good, but the way they explain things here it makes sense too. I'm not out to go "Fuck law!" for its own sake, but I will fight it if it gets stupid or overly repressive. Standards for conduct are needed in any large society, but personal freedom is just as important.
<center><a href="http://liquid2k.com/nethercrawler/alignmentquiz.html" target="new"><img src="http://liquid2k.com/nethercrawler/images/neutralgood2.jpg" border=0></a>
<br><a href="http://liquid2k.com/nethercrawler/alignmentquiz.html" target="new">What's *your* true alignment?</a>
<br>This quiz was made by <user site="livejournal.com" user="TitanGhost"></center>
