Which Briefcase?
Jul. 10th, 2024 09:30 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jakebeYesterday wasn't very productive, but that's OK. It does raise the pressure for the rest of the week though, so I'll need to finish strong.
It's still a bit of a struggle to pull myself back together after spending so much time avoiding things. It's a process, I know, but I haven't really set out a roadmap or anything so it's hard to know where I am along the road. Maybe it'd be a good idea to figure that out.
My finances aren't in the best place right now, especially after a $1200 car repair. I've been needing to do this for a while, honestly -- the shocks were pretty far gone and the bottom of the car was scraping the road *constantly*. As it turns out, this is because the engine guard(?) fell off a while ago and bits of the protective undercarriage were just dangling. The mechanic clipped those back into place, replaced the freon for the AC, the air filters, and the shocks for good measure. The work took way less time than I thought it would AND the mechanic made sure to walk through everything they did before I left. A+ service, I think I've found my new car guys.
I know that Sneppers and Ratty are good to help with the costs, so I'm not on the hook for the whole thing. Still, there's a part of my brain that says "You can't expect help to come, you must go forward as if you were dealing with this on your own." It's hard for me to bring up because that part of my brain also says "Why should you expect anyone else to help you? It's YOUR car and YOUR problem." even though that's not true. All I have to do is talk about it, but irrational anxiety makes that hard. So here I am talking about it instead. >.>
Even past the auto repair, I have to make some decisions about how I'm going to move forward. The place where I am feels like a place with a lot of potential. It's not the space I expected to find myself, and I still have a lot to learn if I'm going to stay put, but I could go places if I ride this out.
The problem there is that I'd have to eat low pay for a little while longer AND there's no guarantee I'd ever get back to what I had been making before unless I take on another position or elbow my way into management. I think I'm finally getting the hang of day-to-day living on this pay scale, but I'm sure I can tighten the belt somewhat further with a bigger shift in mindset. One benefit is that I could actually start making my own breakfast and lunches for the week and find ways to lean into my palate. Maybe I could experiment with the best way to make a chicken salad, or doing Taco Tuesday at home!
I could also -- *should* also -- spend the time to brush up on skills that would help at this job and beyond. My bosses are pretty into Lean Six Sigma, and I found a course that would get me up to Green Belt with a little extra for...not too much. To progress a little further you need a sponsor so it gets a *little* culty, but it also forces this networking element that helps you build connections for your career. The company is thinking about going all-in on Microsoft Enterprise Services, so taking the chance to get Office certification at least could also be a pretty neat thing. Excel skills really come in handy no matter where you are, and it *would* be nice getting to know Word and Powerpoint enough that I could do some neat things there. Once I get my cadence down, that's a real possibility.
But there are also opportunities at other companies I'd be a fool not to take. Calm has an "entry-level" customer service role that pays more than I'm making now AND utilitzes a lot more of my skill set. But it's also a freaking meditation app that probably hasn't figured out how to make itself profitable yet, so there's no telling what the company will look like in three years. The CEO could theoretically just go in on AI after the bubble had burst, and there I am stuck in customer service telling people why it's a good thing we've tanked the app with trash features. Is it worth jumping ship for a more immediate pay bump?
I don't know. I think the best thing to do is keep my resume sharp, apply for positions I feel I'm a good fit for, and cross the stay/go bridge when I have to. In the meantime, I'm learning new skills, exercising a part of my brain (detail-orientation) I never would otherwise, and I could make it for a little while at this pay scale -- as long as there are no unavoidable major expenses. I don't think there's nearly enough wood for me to knock on.
Elsewhere, there's...interpersonal stuff that is still developing, and it sits heavy on the mind. My instinct for appeasement is...not helping me through this, so I have to toughen up about some things that I'm not looking forward to. At the same time, maybe this is an opportunity for me to put my money where my mouth is and trust in the strength of my relationships. Time will tell.
It's still a bit of a struggle to pull myself back together after spending so much time avoiding things. It's a process, I know, but I haven't really set out a roadmap or anything so it's hard to know where I am along the road. Maybe it'd be a good idea to figure that out.
My finances aren't in the best place right now, especially after a $1200 car repair. I've been needing to do this for a while, honestly -- the shocks were pretty far gone and the bottom of the car was scraping the road *constantly*. As it turns out, this is because the engine guard(?) fell off a while ago and bits of the protective undercarriage were just dangling. The mechanic clipped those back into place, replaced the freon for the AC, the air filters, and the shocks for good measure. The work took way less time than I thought it would AND the mechanic made sure to walk through everything they did before I left. A+ service, I think I've found my new car guys.
I know that Sneppers and Ratty are good to help with the costs, so I'm not on the hook for the whole thing. Still, there's a part of my brain that says "You can't expect help to come, you must go forward as if you were dealing with this on your own." It's hard for me to bring up because that part of my brain also says "Why should you expect anyone else to help you? It's YOUR car and YOUR problem." even though that's not true. All I have to do is talk about it, but irrational anxiety makes that hard. So here I am talking about it instead. >.>
Even past the auto repair, I have to make some decisions about how I'm going to move forward. The place where I am feels like a place with a lot of potential. It's not the space I expected to find myself, and I still have a lot to learn if I'm going to stay put, but I could go places if I ride this out.
The problem there is that I'd have to eat low pay for a little while longer AND there's no guarantee I'd ever get back to what I had been making before unless I take on another position or elbow my way into management. I think I'm finally getting the hang of day-to-day living on this pay scale, but I'm sure I can tighten the belt somewhat further with a bigger shift in mindset. One benefit is that I could actually start making my own breakfast and lunches for the week and find ways to lean into my palate. Maybe I could experiment with the best way to make a chicken salad, or doing Taco Tuesday at home!
I could also -- *should* also -- spend the time to brush up on skills that would help at this job and beyond. My bosses are pretty into Lean Six Sigma, and I found a course that would get me up to Green Belt with a little extra for...not too much. To progress a little further you need a sponsor so it gets a *little* culty, but it also forces this networking element that helps you build connections for your career. The company is thinking about going all-in on Microsoft Enterprise Services, so taking the chance to get Office certification at least could also be a pretty neat thing. Excel skills really come in handy no matter where you are, and it *would* be nice getting to know Word and Powerpoint enough that I could do some neat things there. Once I get my cadence down, that's a real possibility.
But there are also opportunities at other companies I'd be a fool not to take. Calm has an "entry-level" customer service role that pays more than I'm making now AND utilitzes a lot more of my skill set. But it's also a freaking meditation app that probably hasn't figured out how to make itself profitable yet, so there's no telling what the company will look like in three years. The CEO could theoretically just go in on AI after the bubble had burst, and there I am stuck in customer service telling people why it's a good thing we've tanked the app with trash features. Is it worth jumping ship for a more immediate pay bump?
I don't know. I think the best thing to do is keep my resume sharp, apply for positions I feel I'm a good fit for, and cross the stay/go bridge when I have to. In the meantime, I'm learning new skills, exercising a part of my brain (detail-orientation) I never would otherwise, and I could make it for a little while at this pay scale -- as long as there are no unavoidable major expenses. I don't think there's nearly enough wood for me to knock on.
Elsewhere, there's...interpersonal stuff that is still developing, and it sits heavy on the mind. My instinct for appeasement is...not helping me through this, so I have to toughen up about some things that I'm not looking forward to. At the same time, maybe this is an opportunity for me to put my money where my mouth is and trust in the strength of my relationships. Time will tell.
