Is It Just Me?
Sep. 20th, 2023 09:53 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jakebe
Yesterday was my second day in the gym this year! Arm isolation exercises this time, so lots of dumbbells and machine push-pulling. I'm already feeling it this morning, which makes sense -- I'm pretty sure I'll be t-rexing tomorrow because I simply can't move my arms any further.
I was having a pretty productive day yesterday morning, but the momentum fell apart by the afternoon, which is more than a little frustrating. I know exactly what happened, and it's all on me. It's interesting, because some part of me is tired of dissociating in that way -- being so scattered that I can't really land on any one thing for an extended period of time. But at some point I fall into the habit and away I go. It's getting to the point that the pain of missing my goals is greater than the pain of trying and failing. That's a good place to be, I just wish it didn't take quite so much to put myself there.
Had my first work meeting with a relative stranger! He's a scheduler in charge of a specific subset of reports we've been getting recently. The issue is that the people gathering samples aren't conforming to our standards and we don't have access to whatever standards they ARE using so we're a little stuck figuring out how this is going to work. We talked about what we do for the company (we're both relative newbies) and sorted through the exact issue we're going to have with this set-up moving forward. It felt good! I'm gonna have to follow up to develop the relationship later today.
Bought a new chef's pan and knife last week and I'm still settling into it. The new pan is stainless steel instead of non-stick, which means I'll need to be a lot more present with the food I'm using. Steel conducts heat a lot better than the non-stick coating allows, so while it lets me get a better char on meat it also means that temperature control is much more of a thing. I'm still learning how to get that great char on protein while making sure it's fully cooked -- Tuesday I undercooked the steaks even though it looked like it might burn if I left it on any longer and Wednesday I overcooked the chicken breasts. I'll get the hang of it, especially if I use the meat thermometer to ensure the internal temp is just where I want it to be.
The new knife has a much different shape than my last one, so that's taking some getting used to as well. My last knife had a curved blade which enabled a more circular slicing cadence(?) and a good solid rocking motion for chopping. This one is thinner with a straighter blade, so I end up hitting the cutting board before I expect to AND there's no way I can get a good rocking motion going. I think the shape of it is made more for an up-and-down motion, which I'll have to learn to be comfortable with. At *least* the knife is reasonably sharp, though I'm not sure it's as sharp as it *could* be. ;) I bought a sharpener from the same outfit that will hopefully serve the blade well. I'm not ready to give up on the older Japanese knife, but I do have to find a sharpening outfit that won't ruin it more than it's been ruined already.
R. had a bit of a mood crash yesterday that was mildly concerning. I don't think he's in a fragile mental state or anything, but he is dealing with a couple changes that might make it easier for him to get tilted in some situations. I'd like to be more mindful of that sort of thing; at the very least, being present with him and accepting him rain or shine has to help, right? I'm also trying to sit with my feelings through this, because my instinct is to fawn over him until he feels better and I'm not sure that's the best way to approach this. Maybe he needs space? Maybe he just needs someone to accept his feelings and be there with him in it.
I was having a pretty productive day yesterday morning, but the momentum fell apart by the afternoon, which is more than a little frustrating. I know exactly what happened, and it's all on me. It's interesting, because some part of me is tired of dissociating in that way -- being so scattered that I can't really land on any one thing for an extended period of time. But at some point I fall into the habit and away I go. It's getting to the point that the pain of missing my goals is greater than the pain of trying and failing. That's a good place to be, I just wish it didn't take quite so much to put myself there.
Had my first work meeting with a relative stranger! He's a scheduler in charge of a specific subset of reports we've been getting recently. The issue is that the people gathering samples aren't conforming to our standards and we don't have access to whatever standards they ARE using so we're a little stuck figuring out how this is going to work. We talked about what we do for the company (we're both relative newbies) and sorted through the exact issue we're going to have with this set-up moving forward. It felt good! I'm gonna have to follow up to develop the relationship later today.
Bought a new chef's pan and knife last week and I'm still settling into it. The new pan is stainless steel instead of non-stick, which means I'll need to be a lot more present with the food I'm using. Steel conducts heat a lot better than the non-stick coating allows, so while it lets me get a better char on meat it also means that temperature control is much more of a thing. I'm still learning how to get that great char on protein while making sure it's fully cooked -- Tuesday I undercooked the steaks even though it looked like it might burn if I left it on any longer and Wednesday I overcooked the chicken breasts. I'll get the hang of it, especially if I use the meat thermometer to ensure the internal temp is just where I want it to be.
The new knife has a much different shape than my last one, so that's taking some getting used to as well. My last knife had a curved blade which enabled a more circular slicing cadence(?) and a good solid rocking motion for chopping. This one is thinner with a straighter blade, so I end up hitting the cutting board before I expect to AND there's no way I can get a good rocking motion going. I think the shape of it is made more for an up-and-down motion, which I'll have to learn to be comfortable with. At *least* the knife is reasonably sharp, though I'm not sure it's as sharp as it *could* be. ;) I bought a sharpener from the same outfit that will hopefully serve the blade well. I'm not ready to give up on the older Japanese knife, but I do have to find a sharpening outfit that won't ruin it more than it's been ruined already.
R. had a bit of a mood crash yesterday that was mildly concerning. I don't think he's in a fragile mental state or anything, but he is dealing with a couple changes that might make it easier for him to get tilted in some situations. I'd like to be more mindful of that sort of thing; at the very least, being present with him and accepting him rain or shine has to help, right? I'm also trying to sit with my feelings through this, because my instinct is to fawn over him until he feels better and I'm not sure that's the best way to approach this. Maybe he needs space? Maybe he just needs someone to accept his feelings and be there with him in it.
