Day 60: That's Enough of That
Jun. 19th, 2023 10:40 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jakebeIt's Juneteenth! I feel the need to publicly mark the occasion somehow, but I wasn't able to plan ahead in time. It's going to be a pretty busy week anyway; I have a lot of catching up to do with the Patreon serial and there's an impending meeting with the CA Unemployment Bureau for an assessment on my hireability. I think that's what it is, anyway. I'd also like to make sure I have an accurate accounting for every application I sent over the last two months. It pays to keep track of that, especially so I can look back over how things went -- what helped, what didn't, what I should have done sooner, that sort of thing.
So Juneteenth will just have to wait until next year. I'm still wrapping my brain around the holiday as well, and it'd be nice to do a little more research into it before presenting an explainer to broader geek circles. In this age of dubious information and bad-faith takes, it's important to come correct.
The weekend was a bit of a wash, but at the very least I feel more well-rested than I have in some time. We played the "Children of the Comet" game on Saturday, where we're still getting better acquainted with the new town we're in. Everyone in the group is a bona-fide outlaw, so we have to lay low while finding opportunities to pad our funding while also getting information about the magical college nearby. Ultimately, we're planning to save hatchlings from the clutches of Redrogomore's mages (Redrogomore is the tyrannical red dragon whose taken over the area) and find out as much as we can about the comet birthmark that they find so interesting -- and that everyone in the group shares.
R. got to announce his character's news to the rest of the party -- that a devil had taken over his Warlock's pact and he's decided to resist her influence as much as possible. His character has also taken on his tiefling's name -- Treason. We were worried that his character was spinning out with the recent events, so it was such a relief to know he took the name in defiance.
After the game we went to a "Don't Tell" comedy session, which was pretty great. Don't Tell Comedy is this outfit that rents weird places to have pop-up comedy shows, and the audience only learns about the events a week or so in advance. I'm not sure if this is how it usually goes, but there's a line-up of five or six comics doing 15 minute sets for an audience who's brought their own booze.
It was a fun time, and there were two or three comics I would definitely see again. It feels like this is a bit of a launching pad for local talent. Every act was local, and I got the feeling that they were still workshopping their material, looking for the jokes that land best for their "tight five" routine. It's really interesting to see an act in its rough stages, and comedians who are just learning their craft. All in all, a cool experience I would definitely do again.
On Sunday we basically chilled out. Finished Locke and Key as well as the six-episode mini-series that forms one half of the American Horror Story: Double Feature season. It was a nice little story about the difficulties of being an artist, and the mental struggle every creative has to go through in order to push themselves toward their potential. It was also ultimately tragic, though the people who made it to the end of the story aren't necessarily better off.
Locke and Key did an amazing thing at the end of its season with a surprisingly in-depth send-off for a recurring side character. The season's villain has entered the memory of someone who had been in Randall Locke's orbit years ago because another Key had been hidden there for safe keeping. The problem is the villain had fatally stabbed the man before going in, so everyone was in a race against time to find the right memory before he died. As he slowly bled out, the characters kept getting caught in the memories that had defined him -- and we saw just how much pain, anger, and sadness he had been hiding under the surface as a closeted gay man who had never been accepted by his friends.
It was an intense final sequence that the last episode couldn't quite live up to. Still, I think the show had earned a relatively happy ending since the previous three seasons were a lot better than they had any right to be. If you're into modern fantasy -- or happen to be a fan of Carlton Cuse small-town shows -- it's worth a look.
Overall I've realized that smoking marijuana makes me less active and social than I'd like to be, and the headspace I fall into isn't conducive to connection. There might be strains that make me more comfortable with hanging out with folks, but I haven't found them yet. At any rate, I'll definitely try to smoke less in general. It's easier for me to build new friendships and maintain my existing ones; and I'm a lot more consistent with my discipline if I'm not fighting a high hangover.
Ultimately, I think right now I just need to be fully present with any difficult emotions as they arise. I've run away from them for far too long, and it's left me ill-equipped to handle them in the moment. I think others notice that I pull away as a default, and maybe that causes them to pull away too. It's time to put in the effort with folks, to really show that I want to be present with them.
So Juneteenth will just have to wait until next year. I'm still wrapping my brain around the holiday as well, and it'd be nice to do a little more research into it before presenting an explainer to broader geek circles. In this age of dubious information and bad-faith takes, it's important to come correct.
The weekend was a bit of a wash, but at the very least I feel more well-rested than I have in some time. We played the "Children of the Comet" game on Saturday, where we're still getting better acquainted with the new town we're in. Everyone in the group is a bona-fide outlaw, so we have to lay low while finding opportunities to pad our funding while also getting information about the magical college nearby. Ultimately, we're planning to save hatchlings from the clutches of Redrogomore's mages (Redrogomore is the tyrannical red dragon whose taken over the area) and find out as much as we can about the comet birthmark that they find so interesting -- and that everyone in the group shares.
R. got to announce his character's news to the rest of the party -- that a devil had taken over his Warlock's pact and he's decided to resist her influence as much as possible. His character has also taken on his tiefling's name -- Treason. We were worried that his character was spinning out with the recent events, so it was such a relief to know he took the name in defiance.
After the game we went to a "Don't Tell" comedy session, which was pretty great. Don't Tell Comedy is this outfit that rents weird places to have pop-up comedy shows, and the audience only learns about the events a week or so in advance. I'm not sure if this is how it usually goes, but there's a line-up of five or six comics doing 15 minute sets for an audience who's brought their own booze.
It was a fun time, and there were two or three comics I would definitely see again. It feels like this is a bit of a launching pad for local talent. Every act was local, and I got the feeling that they were still workshopping their material, looking for the jokes that land best for their "tight five" routine. It's really interesting to see an act in its rough stages, and comedians who are just learning their craft. All in all, a cool experience I would definitely do again.
On Sunday we basically chilled out. Finished Locke and Key as well as the six-episode mini-series that forms one half of the American Horror Story: Double Feature season. It was a nice little story about the difficulties of being an artist, and the mental struggle every creative has to go through in order to push themselves toward their potential. It was also ultimately tragic, though the people who made it to the end of the story aren't necessarily better off.
Locke and Key did an amazing thing at the end of its season with a surprisingly in-depth send-off for a recurring side character. The season's villain has entered the memory of someone who had been in Randall Locke's orbit years ago because another Key had been hidden there for safe keeping. The problem is the villain had fatally stabbed the man before going in, so everyone was in a race against time to find the right memory before he died. As he slowly bled out, the characters kept getting caught in the memories that had defined him -- and we saw just how much pain, anger, and sadness he had been hiding under the surface as a closeted gay man who had never been accepted by his friends.
It was an intense final sequence that the last episode couldn't quite live up to. Still, I think the show had earned a relatively happy ending since the previous three seasons were a lot better than they had any right to be. If you're into modern fantasy -- or happen to be a fan of Carlton Cuse small-town shows -- it's worth a look.
Overall I've realized that smoking marijuana makes me less active and social than I'd like to be, and the headspace I fall into isn't conducive to connection. There might be strains that make me more comfortable with hanging out with folks, but I haven't found them yet. At any rate, I'll definitely try to smoke less in general. It's easier for me to build new friendships and maintain my existing ones; and I'm a lot more consistent with my discipline if I'm not fighting a high hangover.
Ultimately, I think right now I just need to be fully present with any difficult emotions as they arise. I've run away from them for far too long, and it's left me ill-equipped to handle them in the moment. I think others notice that I pull away as a default, and maybe that causes them to pull away too. It's time to put in the effort with folks, to really show that I want to be present with them.
