Day 54: Truthfully
Jun. 13th, 2023 10:30 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jakebeYesterday was impressively productive! I was unloading the dishwasher when I realized how inconvenient the current set-up of glasses were, so I took some time to reorganize it. I'm not sure I saved a ton of space, but the flow is better and it's a lot more convenient to get the glasses we use frequently. It didn't take too long at that! It's a very good data point in general; spaces like that can be tackled one-by-one until the kitchen as a whole is better organized.
I admit I was daydreaming about creating an Amazon wish list for home, where I'd take all the organization, storage, and decorating things I'd like to have. I'd love to have a kitchen utensils organizer for example, or a few things that would make it easier to store things like rice and sugar. The big problem is I don't use those staples quite often enough to justify the expense -- but maybe that's a chicken/egg thing. Do I not use the staples because my kitchen isn't set up for more convenient cooking, or am I just not prioritizing cooking beyond Blue Apron? I highly suspect it's the latter, but who knows? Giving the kitchen a little love might be just the thing that makes me try baking again.
A late start yesterday meant that I didn't get everything done I had meant to, but it was still a good run. Finished this week's episode for the Patreon (and not a moment too soon), and got some work done on the D&D game I'm running this week. Blowing away my campaign in Fantasy Grounds wasn't as big a disaster as I had feared, but it does mean that I'll need to re-do the custom races I built there. That shouldn't take too long, but I'd like to make sure this week's session is nailed down a little more firmly before I jump in to Fantasy Grounds proper. It feels like that'll be a rabbit hole I'd like to have a bit more time for.
I'm not sure the second part of Swiftie's Intergalactic was my best work, but I'm just happy to have it done in time. It'll be interesting to edit the story once it's all finished; I can see how it deviated from my outline, or where I made embarrassing mistakes with characterization. Or the whole thing might be a lot better than I thought it would be as a whole! Either way, finishing it by the end of the month is a top goal and it'll feel really good to have done that. To that end, I'd like to get ahead of the posting schedule this week if I can help it. That'll mean some days of one-hour writing sessions, but that's not the worst thing is it?
We're pretty much out of vices here at the Burrow. We're down to maybe our last nugget of marijuana and there are no ready cocktails in the fridge. I'm trying to create an environment where it's easier to make good choices, but that's hard. I definitely notice the craving for a little sweet something, and the disappointment I feel when I realize there's nothing there. I haven't paid that much attention to the transience of that feeling, but it always goes away eventually. So much of life, I'm learning, is figuring out how to endure discomfort and keep your wits about you.
As usual, I'm worried I'm not being a great friend -- or anything -- to those I love. I don't check in often enough, or I'm usually quite boring when I do. I want to connect, but there always seems to be something in the way for me. It might be my mood at the time, where I'm too inebriated and full to accept contact. I'm also aware of how fat I am, or the way that I smell, and it makes me wary of people coming too close. But that creates this aura around me that's hard to shake. I've been making strides with grooming to challenge this, but I'm finding out it's a little difficult to check the underlying behaviors. It's not devastating or anything, but another thing to work on.
I'm also a little worried about Biscuit. He spends a lot of time on his own while I'm in the office writing or looking for jobs, and he comes across a little lonely. I keep meaning to spend more time with him -- or at least in his area -- by working on the Macbook out in the dining room but I never quite set that up. The dining room table is quite messy, and it'll be a project on its own to straighten that whole thing out. Maybe it'll be the next thing I tackle after I finish folding the laundry.
There aren't enough hours in the day to do everything I want to do, especially as I'm learning how not to procrastinate. But that's always been the case! Instead of fretting about the things I haven't gotten done yet, I find myself deriving a small and quiet satisfaction from the things that I have done. It's a bit easier to make better decisions every day. But even still, some days take more effort than others.
I admit I was daydreaming about creating an Amazon wish list for home, where I'd take all the organization, storage, and decorating things I'd like to have. I'd love to have a kitchen utensils organizer for example, or a few things that would make it easier to store things like rice and sugar. The big problem is I don't use those staples quite often enough to justify the expense -- but maybe that's a chicken/egg thing. Do I not use the staples because my kitchen isn't set up for more convenient cooking, or am I just not prioritizing cooking beyond Blue Apron? I highly suspect it's the latter, but who knows? Giving the kitchen a little love might be just the thing that makes me try baking again.
A late start yesterday meant that I didn't get everything done I had meant to, but it was still a good run. Finished this week's episode for the Patreon (and not a moment too soon), and got some work done on the D&D game I'm running this week. Blowing away my campaign in Fantasy Grounds wasn't as big a disaster as I had feared, but it does mean that I'll need to re-do the custom races I built there. That shouldn't take too long, but I'd like to make sure this week's session is nailed down a little more firmly before I jump in to Fantasy Grounds proper. It feels like that'll be a rabbit hole I'd like to have a bit more time for.
I'm not sure the second part of Swiftie's Intergalactic was my best work, but I'm just happy to have it done in time. It'll be interesting to edit the story once it's all finished; I can see how it deviated from my outline, or where I made embarrassing mistakes with characterization. Or the whole thing might be a lot better than I thought it would be as a whole! Either way, finishing it by the end of the month is a top goal and it'll feel really good to have done that. To that end, I'd like to get ahead of the posting schedule this week if I can help it. That'll mean some days of one-hour writing sessions, but that's not the worst thing is it?
We're pretty much out of vices here at the Burrow. We're down to maybe our last nugget of marijuana and there are no ready cocktails in the fridge. I'm trying to create an environment where it's easier to make good choices, but that's hard. I definitely notice the craving for a little sweet something, and the disappointment I feel when I realize there's nothing there. I haven't paid that much attention to the transience of that feeling, but it always goes away eventually. So much of life, I'm learning, is figuring out how to endure discomfort and keep your wits about you.
As usual, I'm worried I'm not being a great friend -- or anything -- to those I love. I don't check in often enough, or I'm usually quite boring when I do. I want to connect, but there always seems to be something in the way for me. It might be my mood at the time, where I'm too inebriated and full to accept contact. I'm also aware of how fat I am, or the way that I smell, and it makes me wary of people coming too close. But that creates this aura around me that's hard to shake. I've been making strides with grooming to challenge this, but I'm finding out it's a little difficult to check the underlying behaviors. It's not devastating or anything, but another thing to work on.
I'm also a little worried about Biscuit. He spends a lot of time on his own while I'm in the office writing or looking for jobs, and he comes across a little lonely. I keep meaning to spend more time with him -- or at least in his area -- by working on the Macbook out in the dining room but I never quite set that up. The dining room table is quite messy, and it'll be a project on its own to straighten that whole thing out. Maybe it'll be the next thing I tackle after I finish folding the laundry.
There aren't enough hours in the day to do everything I want to do, especially as I'm learning how not to procrastinate. But that's always been the case! Instead of fretting about the things I haven't gotten done yet, I find myself deriving a small and quiet satisfaction from the things that I have done. It's a bit easier to make better decisions every day. But even still, some days take more effort than others.
