![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jakebeThe weekend was pretty good! On Saturday we met with two friends R. had made for frisbee golf. One of them is a recent graduate from SJSU and will spend the summer teaching English to high school kids in San Francisco. The other one is a software engineer at a company working on 3D battle maps for tabletop role-playing games. They are *definitely* our people. We had a great time with them on the course and at BWW afterward; I'm interested in speaking with them a bit more.
After that we went to H. for board games and I met another new friend there. Also got to hang out with another local black furry I don't get to see that often, so that was great. We played One-Night Ultimate Superheroes (a Werewolf variant), How to Serve Man, and maybe another game? We left before another game of Villainous was set up because I was turning into a pumpkin pretty hard at that point. R. had already left to drive up for Frolic, and I wanted to show L. Twin Peaks before I turned in for bed.
He asked me to show him the series, which I am very happy to do. It's interesting going through the show again with a more-critical eye. L. doesn't have the historical/institutional knowledge of TV storytelling I do, or the background knowledge on David Lynch -- so the weirdness is a lot more disorienting for him than it would be for someone who could pull on past experience to ground them a little bit. That was something I hadn't expected, and it's been interesting trying to set a proper expectation for how he's supposed to react to things. Working out what makes Twin Peaks so special is a really fun exercise, and I'm happy that I get to re-explore this truly influential work with my best friend.
On Sunday, we ate a few edibles and caught up on TV. We're watching American Horror Story: Red Tide, which is a neat little five-episode tale about a cadre of creatives in a small New England town who take this black pill to boost their talent from "decent" to "once-in-a-generation". The side effect? It instills a craving for fresh blood and other psychopathic tendencies. As more and more people take the pills, of course, the murders come a little too fast for folks to control and things are destined to spin out.
One subplot that sticks with me is the fate of those who don't have enough talent to get the benefits of the pill. Instead of churning out amazing work, they just become washed-out addicts who attack any fresh prey they can catch. According to the Chemist making the pills, the washouts hate everyone because now they finally know the truth about themselves; they don't have the talent to make their dreams come true. Meanwhile, the talented hate everyone because they're not on their level. Naturally, it makes you think about what would happen if you decided to take the pill.
There is about a 50% chance I'd end up a washout. I have no illusions about my talent, and either way I think I'd rather reach my potential by working for it. The struggle for your art is one of the things that makes it so special and personal. If I could rattle off an entire game-changing novel in a single night, of course I'd be tempted to make that happen but...I also don't know if I'd like what that would do to my relationship with my art. In the show, creation is much more ego-driven and the artists fall into the trap of seeing their craft as a means to an end. It gets them fame, adoration, validation, whatever they're missing. To me, the creation itself is meant to provide you what you're looking for.
One thing I noticed over the weekend is how anti-social being really high makes me. I had a bit of a hangover this morning where I didn't really want to do anything or speak to anyone, but...the alternative of getting high again and playing games struck me as just boring and depressing. There was a time where I would take up a vape pen and smoke it on impulse, but today I cleaned up my work area a bit, put all the paraphernalia on the holding tray, and started planning my successful week.
This week I'd really love to get ahead on Swiftie's Intergalactic AND do some digging into the world-building for my D&D game. I've also become painfully aware of the shape of my body and the...difficulties it provides me. I had flop sweat on my shirt during frisbee golf, and spilled food that stained my t-shirt right over my prominent stomach. Twice. It is not a great feeling walking around with a stained shirt that calls attention to the feature you're most ashamed about.
So I'd like to be a bit more controlled about my diet and prioritize exercise that will help me lose weight -- or at least increase my metabolism. To that end, I'd like to walk three miles each day this week and then go back to running one mile as often as I can next week. I know that won't work any immediate miracles, but I'm hoping that it will help ingrain the habit of movement. It's not good for me to be so sedentary, and it's...a disturbing feeling for your muscles to atrophy enough to be noticeable.
I think this weekend reinforced the lesson I learned with abstinence for a month. Marijuana is fun sometimes, but it often leads to this slothful haze that makes it a lot harder for me to be as considerate as I'd like or as active as I'd like.
After that we went to H. for board games and I met another new friend there. Also got to hang out with another local black furry I don't get to see that often, so that was great. We played One-Night Ultimate Superheroes (a Werewolf variant), How to Serve Man, and maybe another game? We left before another game of Villainous was set up because I was turning into a pumpkin pretty hard at that point. R. had already left to drive up for Frolic, and I wanted to show L. Twin Peaks before I turned in for bed.
He asked me to show him the series, which I am very happy to do. It's interesting going through the show again with a more-critical eye. L. doesn't have the historical/institutional knowledge of TV storytelling I do, or the background knowledge on David Lynch -- so the weirdness is a lot more disorienting for him than it would be for someone who could pull on past experience to ground them a little bit. That was something I hadn't expected, and it's been interesting trying to set a proper expectation for how he's supposed to react to things. Working out what makes Twin Peaks so special is a really fun exercise, and I'm happy that I get to re-explore this truly influential work with my best friend.
On Sunday, we ate a few edibles and caught up on TV. We're watching American Horror Story: Red Tide, which is a neat little five-episode tale about a cadre of creatives in a small New England town who take this black pill to boost their talent from "decent" to "once-in-a-generation". The side effect? It instills a craving for fresh blood and other psychopathic tendencies. As more and more people take the pills, of course, the murders come a little too fast for folks to control and things are destined to spin out.
One subplot that sticks with me is the fate of those who don't have enough talent to get the benefits of the pill. Instead of churning out amazing work, they just become washed-out addicts who attack any fresh prey they can catch. According to the Chemist making the pills, the washouts hate everyone because now they finally know the truth about themselves; they don't have the talent to make their dreams come true. Meanwhile, the talented hate everyone because they're not on their level. Naturally, it makes you think about what would happen if you decided to take the pill.
There is about a 50% chance I'd end up a washout. I have no illusions about my talent, and either way I think I'd rather reach my potential by working for it. The struggle for your art is one of the things that makes it so special and personal. If I could rattle off an entire game-changing novel in a single night, of course I'd be tempted to make that happen but...I also don't know if I'd like what that would do to my relationship with my art. In the show, creation is much more ego-driven and the artists fall into the trap of seeing their craft as a means to an end. It gets them fame, adoration, validation, whatever they're missing. To me, the creation itself is meant to provide you what you're looking for.
One thing I noticed over the weekend is how anti-social being really high makes me. I had a bit of a hangover this morning where I didn't really want to do anything or speak to anyone, but...the alternative of getting high again and playing games struck me as just boring and depressing. There was a time where I would take up a vape pen and smoke it on impulse, but today I cleaned up my work area a bit, put all the paraphernalia on the holding tray, and started planning my successful week.
This week I'd really love to get ahead on Swiftie's Intergalactic AND do some digging into the world-building for my D&D game. I've also become painfully aware of the shape of my body and the...difficulties it provides me. I had flop sweat on my shirt during frisbee golf, and spilled food that stained my t-shirt right over my prominent stomach. Twice. It is not a great feeling walking around with a stained shirt that calls attention to the feature you're most ashamed about.
So I'd like to be a bit more controlled about my diet and prioritize exercise that will help me lose weight -- or at least increase my metabolism. To that end, I'd like to walk three miles each day this week and then go back to running one mile as often as I can next week. I know that won't work any immediate miracles, but I'm hoping that it will help ingrain the habit of movement. It's not good for me to be so sedentary, and it's...a disturbing feeling for your muscles to atrophy enough to be noticeable.
I think this weekend reinforced the lesson I learned with abstinence for a month. Marijuana is fun sometimes, but it often leads to this slothful haze that makes it a lot harder for me to be as considerate as I'd like or as active as I'd like.
