Day 34: In This World
May. 24th, 2023 09:41 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jakebeI watch a lot of self-improvement YouTube. Most of it goes in one ear and out the other, but sometimes things hit just right for me -- or over time recommendations are repeated often enough they becomes part of the gestalt. I wanted to catch a few "how to journal" essays just to see if there was a way to approach this with more intentionality. I typically give myself 30 minutes (1 pomodoro) a day to journal, so given the time constraints is there a way to focus my attention for maximum benefit, especially when I'm looking back through it.
A guy named Jared Henderson has a pretty good channel about journaling. He also reads a lot of the ancient philosophers and "classics of English literature" (ugh so cringe), but he's earnest about his craft and his desire to help people get the most out of journaling. It's impressive! Anyway, he recommends a fairly straightforward cadence that I might adopt for a week or two to see how it feels.
You write about one event that happened that day, one success that mattered to you, one failure that you want to highlight, one thing you learned, and...a wrap-up that puts this day in the context of your life as a whole. It's simple, but also a great way to highlight the small details that you might forget over time and a way to chronicle your progress, your continuing struggle, and synthesize your immediate experience into your overall story. His idea is that journaling is a practice that allows you to control your narrative, a way for you to shape the story you tell yourself. It's such a simple and beautiful idea that resonated with me quite well.
I'll try this for the month of June just to see how it fits. If there are tweaks to be made, or I end up just not vibing with it in the long run, I'll change it up in July.
Yesterday, a fairly-prominent black furry had a mental health crisis on Twitter. It was...very concerning. I don't know him too well, but I've been an admirer of his work from afar for some time. We share a lot of the same aesthetics, but he's been a lot more deliberate about cultivating his "brand". He's even made a modest living through audio-plays, stories, and the like. I've always thought of him as a guy who's got his shit together, a fellow blerd like me who unabashedly follows the cottage-core lifestyle.
I'm not entirely sure what happened, but something triggered an episode. From reading over his tweets it feels like a severe mania. He mentioned at points that he hadn't been sleeping for days and overall his thoughts were feverish, racing. His tweets were rapid-fire and non-sensical. He went after people for seemingly no reason, asked for money and art to distract his suicidal ideation, asked for help several times but couldn't articulate exactly what it was he needed. In one day he blew up this carefully-crafted image, may have damaged a lot of friendships irreparably, and "outed" himself as neurodivergent whether he meant to or not.
The thing that worried me most was his local support system. He mentioned he had roommates, but it was unclear how much they knew or how close they were to him. At any rate, it must have been intensely difficult to deal with and I wouldn't blame them if they called emergency services to get professional help as soon as possible.
But we know what happens to black Americans in a mental-health crisis when the authorities are called. His Twitter posts were highly-agitated and barely coherent. In that situation a police officer wouldn't care that most people know him as the sweetest tail-obsessed cozy furry; they would see a crazed black man presenting a danger to those around him.
He's apparently in professional care right now and getting the help he needs, which is a relief. I know he has a support network standing by to help him, but this is something that feels near and dear to me and I want to help too. A lot of folks were talking about the feeling of helplessness in cases like this, unsure of what to do, unwilling to make things worse by doing the wrong thing. This is...a common feeling in a situation like this and I'm currently wrestling with my own desire to "fix" uncomfortable situations. I'm realizing that my intention isn't selfless, which means that my actions are ultimately self-serving. The desire to help is an attachment to a peaceful environment and not necessarily compassion for easing the suffering of another human being.
I think this is also a common thing. I'd like to write a blog post about this, but...I need to take a little time to order my thoughts. This is probably a good opportunity to practice more structured non-fiction writing, or communicating with clear intention. We'll see what comes of it, but I feel the need to at least give this more attention.
A guy named Jared Henderson has a pretty good channel about journaling. He also reads a lot of the ancient philosophers and "classics of English literature" (ugh so cringe), but he's earnest about his craft and his desire to help people get the most out of journaling. It's impressive! Anyway, he recommends a fairly straightforward cadence that I might adopt for a week or two to see how it feels.
You write about one event that happened that day, one success that mattered to you, one failure that you want to highlight, one thing you learned, and...a wrap-up that puts this day in the context of your life as a whole. It's simple, but also a great way to highlight the small details that you might forget over time and a way to chronicle your progress, your continuing struggle, and synthesize your immediate experience into your overall story. His idea is that journaling is a practice that allows you to control your narrative, a way for you to shape the story you tell yourself. It's such a simple and beautiful idea that resonated with me quite well.
I'll try this for the month of June just to see how it fits. If there are tweaks to be made, or I end up just not vibing with it in the long run, I'll change it up in July.
Yesterday, a fairly-prominent black furry had a mental health crisis on Twitter. It was...very concerning. I don't know him too well, but I've been an admirer of his work from afar for some time. We share a lot of the same aesthetics, but he's been a lot more deliberate about cultivating his "brand". He's even made a modest living through audio-plays, stories, and the like. I've always thought of him as a guy who's got his shit together, a fellow blerd like me who unabashedly follows the cottage-core lifestyle.
I'm not entirely sure what happened, but something triggered an episode. From reading over his tweets it feels like a severe mania. He mentioned at points that he hadn't been sleeping for days and overall his thoughts were feverish, racing. His tweets were rapid-fire and non-sensical. He went after people for seemingly no reason, asked for money and art to distract his suicidal ideation, asked for help several times but couldn't articulate exactly what it was he needed. In one day he blew up this carefully-crafted image, may have damaged a lot of friendships irreparably, and "outed" himself as neurodivergent whether he meant to or not.
The thing that worried me most was his local support system. He mentioned he had roommates, but it was unclear how much they knew or how close they were to him. At any rate, it must have been intensely difficult to deal with and I wouldn't blame them if they called emergency services to get professional help as soon as possible.
But we know what happens to black Americans in a mental-health crisis when the authorities are called. His Twitter posts were highly-agitated and barely coherent. In that situation a police officer wouldn't care that most people know him as the sweetest tail-obsessed cozy furry; they would see a crazed black man presenting a danger to those around him.
He's apparently in professional care right now and getting the help he needs, which is a relief. I know he has a support network standing by to help him, but this is something that feels near and dear to me and I want to help too. A lot of folks were talking about the feeling of helplessness in cases like this, unsure of what to do, unwilling to make things worse by doing the wrong thing. This is...a common feeling in a situation like this and I'm currently wrestling with my own desire to "fix" uncomfortable situations. I'm realizing that my intention isn't selfless, which means that my actions are ultimately self-serving. The desire to help is an attachment to a peaceful environment and not necessarily compassion for easing the suffering of another human being.
I think this is also a common thing. I'd like to write a blog post about this, but...I need to take a little time to order my thoughts. This is probably a good opportunity to practice more structured non-fiction writing, or communicating with clear intention. We'll see what comes of it, but I feel the need to at least give this more attention.
