Day 9 of 107: Putting It Together
Apr. 29th, 2023 08:34 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jakebeI only got to restore the Mac, pick up Prozac, and fold clothes yesterday. I didn't get to the beans and rice prep, which I'll probably wait until Sunday to do. That'll give me a good stock of easy lunches for the week; I can air-fry a chicken breast (or nuggets!) for extra protein if I want, or pair it up with a nice salad.
Getting the Mac restored was enragingly easy once I took it to an Apple Store. The tech there pulled out his secret wand, used some deep-magic gesture, and it was right as rain. I get the feeling that the restore we used on Thursday worked, or maybe our Internet connection was actually that crappy. Overall it took about an hour for the reinstall.
The Adderall shortage meant that I couldn't fill that prescription. The pharmacist was extremely helpful, and even called to the pediatric pharmacy to see if there might be any there. In the end, I had a choice between getting 11 pills from one manufacturer or 14 pills from another manufacturer. I would have to ask for a brand-new prescription from my psychiatrist in order to get the rest later. I chose to wait. It's a risk, certainly, but I should be able to get a full prescription before my coverage ends. At this point it feels sure there'll be at least a small interruption while COBRA is set up.
The video chat with Denielle went fairly well. She gave me good feedback on my resume that should help me look a lot better on paper. She also told me I had been underpaid as a community manager and I could easily make more, so that was a small boost to the old ego. I also got a bit more information surrounding her departure from Udacity, and it fits into a pattern I see with the most talented workers there. The company talks a good game when it comes to career advancement, but in practice the managers who are supposed to have your back delay (at best) or block (at worst) opportunities.
And I think that's because managers are expected to push their teams to produce a certain amount of work in a short period of time, so when you get someone who can actually do that you're reluctant to let them go. The lack of documentation or efficient transfer of institutional knowledge means that it can take a very long time for a replacement to get their bearings -- if they do so at all. When things line up right, it's great to advance from within. But if you're stuck in a place where talent is at a premium and company conditions don't make replacing you easily, you're trapped.
I think this is what happened to Denielle, who really wanted to be moved to Product Management and was forced to stay in Ops. General unhappiness and Denielle's...candid and direct feedback about it meant she was eventually viewed as a negative influence on the team. So, she was an easy mark for the first round of layoffs.
It's not fair, but I could easily see how it happened given the company culture. Well-crafted documentation, consistent on-boarding, and right-sizing the workload of people would solve that problem, but good luck trying to get that up and running.
This morning I finished a 30-day Headspace course on Managing Anxiety. It's basic mindfulness meditation, but geared toward noticing your anxious thoughts throughout the day while giving you the tools to deal with them. Learning to be present with your difficult emotions and having empathy for other people to pull you out of your own head, that sort of thing. It's all stuff I know, but it was good to have that kind of deliberate practice every now and again.
One of the realizations I had this week is that I have significant trouble expressing my desires in a healthy way, and that might be due to feedback I get when I do. But it's one of those things that messes me up in a lot of different ways so it's something I have to get better with. Part of that, of course, is actually being able to identify what I want. That's the tricky part.
Today is Firstdawn with the guys! And cleaning up the place a bit. It'll definitely make coming back from the game and hanging out with S. easier afterward.
Getting the Mac restored was enragingly easy once I took it to an Apple Store. The tech there pulled out his secret wand, used some deep-magic gesture, and it was right as rain. I get the feeling that the restore we used on Thursday worked, or maybe our Internet connection was actually that crappy. Overall it took about an hour for the reinstall.
The Adderall shortage meant that I couldn't fill that prescription. The pharmacist was extremely helpful, and even called to the pediatric pharmacy to see if there might be any there. In the end, I had a choice between getting 11 pills from one manufacturer or 14 pills from another manufacturer. I would have to ask for a brand-new prescription from my psychiatrist in order to get the rest later. I chose to wait. It's a risk, certainly, but I should be able to get a full prescription before my coverage ends. At this point it feels sure there'll be at least a small interruption while COBRA is set up.
The video chat with Denielle went fairly well. She gave me good feedback on my resume that should help me look a lot better on paper. She also told me I had been underpaid as a community manager and I could easily make more, so that was a small boost to the old ego. I also got a bit more information surrounding her departure from Udacity, and it fits into a pattern I see with the most talented workers there. The company talks a good game when it comes to career advancement, but in practice the managers who are supposed to have your back delay (at best) or block (at worst) opportunities.
And I think that's because managers are expected to push their teams to produce a certain amount of work in a short period of time, so when you get someone who can actually do that you're reluctant to let them go. The lack of documentation or efficient transfer of institutional knowledge means that it can take a very long time for a replacement to get their bearings -- if they do so at all. When things line up right, it's great to advance from within. But if you're stuck in a place where talent is at a premium and company conditions don't make replacing you easily, you're trapped.
I think this is what happened to Denielle, who really wanted to be moved to Product Management and was forced to stay in Ops. General unhappiness and Denielle's...candid and direct feedback about it meant she was eventually viewed as a negative influence on the team. So, she was an easy mark for the first round of layoffs.
It's not fair, but I could easily see how it happened given the company culture. Well-crafted documentation, consistent on-boarding, and right-sizing the workload of people would solve that problem, but good luck trying to get that up and running.
This morning I finished a 30-day Headspace course on Managing Anxiety. It's basic mindfulness meditation, but geared toward noticing your anxious thoughts throughout the day while giving you the tools to deal with them. Learning to be present with your difficult emotions and having empathy for other people to pull you out of your own head, that sort of thing. It's all stuff I know, but it was good to have that kind of deliberate practice every now and again.
One of the realizations I had this week is that I have significant trouble expressing my desires in a healthy way, and that might be due to feedback I get when I do. But it's one of those things that messes me up in a lot of different ways so it's something I have to get better with. Part of that, of course, is actually being able to identify what I want. That's the tricky part.
Today is Firstdawn with the guys! And cleaning up the place a bit. It'll definitely make coming back from the game and hanging out with S. easier afterward.
