Day 1 of 107: A Liminal Space
Apr. 21st, 2023 01:43 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jakebeToday I signed the separation agreement with the company I used to work for, Udacity. In exchange for promising not to cause legal trouble they've given me (in addition to my final paycheck) nine weeks of severance pay, three months of COBRA benefits, a free Udacity Nanodegree for six months, and the work laptop. All in all, not a bad package. I also have access to their "talent network" for my job search, which I'll definitely have to look into later. Right now, I just need time to decompress and absorb.
I was expecting another round of layoffs to happen soon, and I knew that our department was in the crosshairs after being completely missed in the first round last October. We were the biggest team left standing, and even though there were US-based scholarship and training programs on the calendar it wasn't likely we would get much more than that. The company missed their sales targets for the last two quarters, and before that we didn't get any merit raises during our performance reviews, and after learning about the company's finances -- and seeing how tightly they were pulling their belts -- the writing was practically on the wall.
Still, there's a part of you that thinks you'll be immune to stuff like this. We were shifting our organization quite a bit and my performance review was good enough for me to think I wouldn't be a bit of low-hanging fruit to be plucked. I was one of only three community managers based in the US (out of a team of 12 or so), and since the Support team was rolled into our department I figured I could help out there in a pinch. I was also trying to set myself up as a JIRA subject expert with the training. But alas.
Overall 13% of the company was let go this week, just in the US and Europe. I think they're holding off on further layoffs in India and Africa until the Eid holiday closes out. Still, it really sucks that my colleagues have to try and celebrate with that hanging over their heads.
I'll really miss working there. The people were great, and I believed in our mission, and I had a job that directly contributed to it. I was very lucky, and I'm grateful for the work I had there.
I have no idea what I want to do next, so I'll need some time to think about it. Based on where the market is right now, it feels like pivoting to government, education, or health care is the way to go. I'm not sure tech will have a good work/life balance or a company mission that makes me feel OK about spending so much time helping them achieve it. I'll have to think carefully about how much money I'd be fine with making in order to have the balance and piece of mind I'd want. We'll see how it goes.
Today is the first day of my unemployment, hence the title. I've set myself a time limit of 107 days to find a job because I'd really like to have one by my 43rd birthday. No shame to the jobless, but I'm trying to identify the things that might tank my mood and develop coping strategies to deal with them. So I'm viewing these 100+ days as an opportunity to work on myself, develop better discipline and organization strategies, and reconnect with the things I care about. Maybe even try new things!
But first...I'll be drinking some mushroom tea with my best friend and two more close friends this afternoon. We had planned the trip well in advance, but with what happened this week I think it might be a good chance to give myself closure on this chapter of life and emerge into a new one. Over the past few trips I've felt myself...sorting out a time of transition, putting together a new self-image piece by piece. This feels like another step on that journey. Who knows what insights might develop?
It's my third (or fourth) time with mushrooms, but my best friend's first time. The other two are relatively seasoned journey-creatures, so I trust they'll be able to handle themselves. I do worry a little for my friend -- not because he's in a bad place or anything, but because there's a non-zero chance our friends and the environment might throw off some bad vibes. Not intentionally, of course, but they're in a fragile place emotionally and their house reflects that.
They struggle with their roommates over cleanliness, but they also tend to enable each others' depression spirals so there's not a lot of self-care happening there. The place is pretty junky, the bathrooms are filthy, and last time we were there we learned about the roach infestation. If you have any concerns about cleanliness, or dealt with a bad insect infection at home in the past (yes to both) it can...use up some spoons to be OK about it.
That being said, maybe my friend will be just fine and the issue is all in MY head. I've given myself the "responsibility" of keeping up everyone's morale with this, when really all I need to worry about is my own.
Anyway, wish me luck. I'll have more to say tomorrow.
I was expecting another round of layoffs to happen soon, and I knew that our department was in the crosshairs after being completely missed in the first round last October. We were the biggest team left standing, and even though there were US-based scholarship and training programs on the calendar it wasn't likely we would get much more than that. The company missed their sales targets for the last two quarters, and before that we didn't get any merit raises during our performance reviews, and after learning about the company's finances -- and seeing how tightly they were pulling their belts -- the writing was practically on the wall.
Still, there's a part of you that thinks you'll be immune to stuff like this. We were shifting our organization quite a bit and my performance review was good enough for me to think I wouldn't be a bit of low-hanging fruit to be plucked. I was one of only three community managers based in the US (out of a team of 12 or so), and since the Support team was rolled into our department I figured I could help out there in a pinch. I was also trying to set myself up as a JIRA subject expert with the training. But alas.
Overall 13% of the company was let go this week, just in the US and Europe. I think they're holding off on further layoffs in India and Africa until the Eid holiday closes out. Still, it really sucks that my colleagues have to try and celebrate with that hanging over their heads.
I'll really miss working there. The people were great, and I believed in our mission, and I had a job that directly contributed to it. I was very lucky, and I'm grateful for the work I had there.
I have no idea what I want to do next, so I'll need some time to think about it. Based on where the market is right now, it feels like pivoting to government, education, or health care is the way to go. I'm not sure tech will have a good work/life balance or a company mission that makes me feel OK about spending so much time helping them achieve it. I'll have to think carefully about how much money I'd be fine with making in order to have the balance and piece of mind I'd want. We'll see how it goes.
Today is the first day of my unemployment, hence the title. I've set myself a time limit of 107 days to find a job because I'd really like to have one by my 43rd birthday. No shame to the jobless, but I'm trying to identify the things that might tank my mood and develop coping strategies to deal with them. So I'm viewing these 100+ days as an opportunity to work on myself, develop better discipline and organization strategies, and reconnect with the things I care about. Maybe even try new things!
But first...I'll be drinking some mushroom tea with my best friend and two more close friends this afternoon. We had planned the trip well in advance, but with what happened this week I think it might be a good chance to give myself closure on this chapter of life and emerge into a new one. Over the past few trips I've felt myself...sorting out a time of transition, putting together a new self-image piece by piece. This feels like another step on that journey. Who knows what insights might develop?
It's my third (or fourth) time with mushrooms, but my best friend's first time. The other two are relatively seasoned journey-creatures, so I trust they'll be able to handle themselves. I do worry a little for my friend -- not because he's in a bad place or anything, but because there's a non-zero chance our friends and the environment might throw off some bad vibes. Not intentionally, of course, but they're in a fragile place emotionally and their house reflects that.
They struggle with their roommates over cleanliness, but they also tend to enable each others' depression spirals so there's not a lot of self-care happening there. The place is pretty junky, the bathrooms are filthy, and last time we were there we learned about the roach infestation. If you have any concerns about cleanliness, or dealt with a bad insect infection at home in the past (yes to both) it can...use up some spoons to be OK about it.
That being said, maybe my friend will be just fine and the issue is all in MY head. I've given myself the "responsibility" of keeping up everyone's morale with this, when really all I need to worry about is my own.
Anyway, wish me luck. I'll have more to say tomorrow.
