The Brain and the Pen
Dec. 20th, 2022 09:45 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jakebe
I'm reading The Bone Clocks from David Mitchell on the recommendation of a dear friend who loves his work. Since Cloud Atlas is my favorite movie based on one of his books, I figure it's time to become acquainted with his work.
It's really interesting. Like Cloud Atlas, the novel is broken into six different interconnected stories all spinning in the orbit of one Holly Sykes. I won't get into the details of the plot now that it's finally unfolding in the fifth section, but I'm impressed with the worldbuilding and how expansive it feels. Mitchell has a really great way of telling personal stories that somehow span centuries and continents. He uses so many different, unique locations but still keeps the focus on the things that unite the human species across time and space. He also doesn't shy away from the fact that some people are just evil and want to hurt others, but that doesn't stop most people from trying to do the right thing.
After I finish the novel I'll dip into a few other books over the long holiday, but I'll definitely come back to Mitchell's work next year. He's one of the authors I'd really love to be influenced by.
I've been thinking a lot about the kind of stories I want to tell. Right now I'd like to get my Patreon up and running again -- while I don't think I'll be ready to release anything in January, February feels like the best time to re-launch. This gives me 40 days or so to build up a buffer. I plan on starting with simple stories of maybe two - five parts before trying to take on something a bit more ambitious. There are at least three ideas that I could see becoming a series of stories, but I'll need to get my act together with doing the world-building first.
Some recent conversations with friends about kink have re-awakened me to the possibilities there, and I'm slowly, hesitantly rediscovering my submissive/service side. It's a good feeling, to be honest, and I think I've learned what caused the "collapse" of my kink in the first place. With macro/micro, there's a focus on making sure the smaller party feels humiliated, psychologically belittled, helpless. I...don't really like that.
As a Black American, I spend most of my life feeling helpless and belittled. I've had the tremendous good fortune to avoid this treatment directly for the most part, but when I live in a society that constantly forces minorities to justify their existence or prove the disenfranchisement we're subjected to it...hits different to be belittled just because of who you are. Add to that the ever-present feeling of being misunderstood at best and ignored at worst because of the way my brain works, and I couldn't deal with the idea of being forced to do things I didn't want to do just because I couldn't physically stop it. As I've gotten older, I find that I need a certain level of autonomy and respect. I realize that this is because my ego is still a bit fragile -- but it's also new. I'm just learning how to treat *myself* with respect, so other people who don't respect boundaries or listen to my preferences put me back into a headspace I've spent a lifetime climbing out of.
With macro, I want to feel small -- not belittled. That's a crucial difference that feels at odds with the way the kink is presented in most quarters. Don't get me wrong, a giant throwing his weight around and making the power differential very clear is really hot. But the default teasing state in most quarters leaves me a little cold, and I've only recently been able to put my finger on why.
So I want to write macro/micro stories that feature relationships between characters of different size that are on a more emotionally equal footing. Or, at least, where getting to that point is the arc. The first story I'd like to write is a "re-imagining" of this macrophile story I read a looong time ago, but has disappeared from the Internet by now. It will be told from the perspective of a small person who has opted out of society for the most part, choosing the lonely job of a deep space courier to maintain his independence. But the lack of company drives him towards re-examining his choices and an encounter with a very large stranger gives him a chance to see how rewarding relationships can be.
It feels like the right story for me to write now because I'm in much the same headspace. The main character's slow and hesitant waking from social hibernation is a process I'm very much going through in fits and starts. I think this story will help me confront the coping mechanisms that are still holding me back while allowing me to see a macro-micro relationship that keeps the things I love about the premise while discarding the rest.
And I'm sure it'll take me the rest of December and all of January to write it. :) I'd like to make sure there's a buffer for the Jackalope Serial Company, so I'm only releasing a story AFTER it's complete and another one is in the works. If I could get a month ahead before relaunching it, that would be ideal.
For now, though, just making sure things are ready for my absence at work, and doing all the end-of-year stuff that I should be. Time marches on.
It's really interesting. Like Cloud Atlas, the novel is broken into six different interconnected stories all spinning in the orbit of one Holly Sykes. I won't get into the details of the plot now that it's finally unfolding in the fifth section, but I'm impressed with the worldbuilding and how expansive it feels. Mitchell has a really great way of telling personal stories that somehow span centuries and continents. He uses so many different, unique locations but still keeps the focus on the things that unite the human species across time and space. He also doesn't shy away from the fact that some people are just evil and want to hurt others, but that doesn't stop most people from trying to do the right thing.
After I finish the novel I'll dip into a few other books over the long holiday, but I'll definitely come back to Mitchell's work next year. He's one of the authors I'd really love to be influenced by.
I've been thinking a lot about the kind of stories I want to tell. Right now I'd like to get my Patreon up and running again -- while I don't think I'll be ready to release anything in January, February feels like the best time to re-launch. This gives me 40 days or so to build up a buffer. I plan on starting with simple stories of maybe two - five parts before trying to take on something a bit more ambitious. There are at least three ideas that I could see becoming a series of stories, but I'll need to get my act together with doing the world-building first.
Some recent conversations with friends about kink have re-awakened me to the possibilities there, and I'm slowly, hesitantly rediscovering my submissive/service side. It's a good feeling, to be honest, and I think I've learned what caused the "collapse" of my kink in the first place. With macro/micro, there's a focus on making sure the smaller party feels humiliated, psychologically belittled, helpless. I...don't really like that.
As a Black American, I spend most of my life feeling helpless and belittled. I've had the tremendous good fortune to avoid this treatment directly for the most part, but when I live in a society that constantly forces minorities to justify their existence or prove the disenfranchisement we're subjected to it...hits different to be belittled just because of who you are. Add to that the ever-present feeling of being misunderstood at best and ignored at worst because of the way my brain works, and I couldn't deal with the idea of being forced to do things I didn't want to do just because I couldn't physically stop it. As I've gotten older, I find that I need a certain level of autonomy and respect. I realize that this is because my ego is still a bit fragile -- but it's also new. I'm just learning how to treat *myself* with respect, so other people who don't respect boundaries or listen to my preferences put me back into a headspace I've spent a lifetime climbing out of.
With macro, I want to feel small -- not belittled. That's a crucial difference that feels at odds with the way the kink is presented in most quarters. Don't get me wrong, a giant throwing his weight around and making the power differential very clear is really hot. But the default teasing state in most quarters leaves me a little cold, and I've only recently been able to put my finger on why.
So I want to write macro/micro stories that feature relationships between characters of different size that are on a more emotionally equal footing. Or, at least, where getting to that point is the arc. The first story I'd like to write is a "re-imagining" of this macrophile story I read a looong time ago, but has disappeared from the Internet by now. It will be told from the perspective of a small person who has opted out of society for the most part, choosing the lonely job of a deep space courier to maintain his independence. But the lack of company drives him towards re-examining his choices and an encounter with a very large stranger gives him a chance to see how rewarding relationships can be.
It feels like the right story for me to write now because I'm in much the same headspace. The main character's slow and hesitant waking from social hibernation is a process I'm very much going through in fits and starts. I think this story will help me confront the coping mechanisms that are still holding me back while allowing me to see a macro-micro relationship that keeps the things I love about the premise while discarding the rest.
And I'm sure it'll take me the rest of December and all of January to write it. :) I'd like to make sure there's a buffer for the Jackalope Serial Company, so I'm only releasing a story AFTER it's complete and another one is in the works. If I could get a month ahead before relaunching it, that would be ideal.
For now, though, just making sure things are ready for my absence at work, and doing all the end-of-year stuff that I should be. Time marches on.
