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Dec. 10th, 2021 08:33 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jakebe
I feel pretty far behind on everything, and it's been difficult to knuckle down to focus on what I should. I realize a lot of that is just...anxiety floating around in the ether that I haven't nailed down yet. The burrow needs to be cleaned, there are a few outstanding projects I should at least schedule in for this month, there are work issues that I could be helping out with, and personal creative projects I should be getting a start on. At any given moment, though, I'm paralyzed with this laundry list of things I could be doing -- so I end up doing nothing.
I've really come to love to-do lists for this very reason. Experts say that writing down the things you need to do can lighten the cognitive load and that nagging worry you're forgetting something, and I must say it's proven true in my case. When I have a clear list of things that need to get done through the day I feel so much better. Unsure of what to do next? Thankfully I can just consult my list and handle it.
What would be nice is creating a list of quick tasks I can handle in under, say, 15 minutes, for those times where I'm waiting for something to happen or just need to fill time until the next thing. Duolingo would be perfect for those slots, but most likely I end up getting distracted by various games I've got going on. And there's nothing wrong with playing games -- until I have this nagging thought about them being the best use of my time.
That being said, I feel like I stay busy and on the whole I'm fairly productive. But you know, you could always be doing better, right?
Work is in a weird spot right now where everyone is just...letting me do my own thing because of the Mom situation. I really appreciate the space, but honestly there isn't much for me to do on that front. I could be using the time to reconnect with family or get ahead with Christmas cards and/or presents, but I would feel way too guilty about that. Mostly. I think I'll need to just knuckle down and take care of a few things I know needs taken care of. Next week, if the situation calls for it, I'll schedule "office hour" sessions that anyone can join while I'm handling tickets. That way, I can help clear the queues and train folks at the same time. It's a win-win!
I've been bad about the coping mechanisms that would help me keep my head on straight, too. Meditation in the morning has given way to checking news and Twitter and Telegram, which is no bueno. I tend to forget my medication a bit too often (like right now), which means it's harder to settle into a groove early. Exercise has taken a bit of a hiatus for like, no reason. And Bullet Journaling has been spotty at best. These things happen, you fall out of the rhythm that would be best for you. But mindfulness helps you to acknowledge these times more readily so you can get back on the path you've laid for yourself. This weekend will be that kind of "soft reset".
I'm planning to bake bread tomorrow and clean up the burrow a bit. That means folding clothes, unpacking my suitcase from the con, organizing the bedroom, sweeping and mopping floors, cleaning the bathroom, straightening up Biscuit's area, etc. I have a D&D game set for Saturday afternoon; it's a two- or three-session campaign featuring a whole heap of high-level rogues. The DM is new but formidable -- he's got description down pat, knows how to pace his scenes, and has definitely learned a thing or two from Matt Mercer of Critical Role. The players are a mix of newbies and veterans, though I might just be the most-seasoned player at the table. So far I've hung back; it's a big group, we're all online, and it's been hard to get a word in edgewise. I don't necessarily mind that, but...I don't expect this session will be easier to speak up with.
One of the things I've realized I could be better about is active listening, just really hearing what people are saying but more importantly understanding what they mean. That kind of keen observation is at the heart of great writing and communication, after all. Learning to unlock how people think through how they speak is...a type of magic that used to feel second-nature to me. Now it's a little harder, and I think it's because I've spent so much time worried about myself and what's going on in my head. Making *myself* understood. But when you have insight into how people think, it becomes a bit easier to communicate in ways they're ready to hear. Keeping quiet until I'm sure I can say something with the right impact feels like the type of old-man-shit I should get good at in my 40s. This D&D game feels like a good chance to do that.
R. wants to go to Frolic on Saturday night, and if he does I'll invite H. over so we can watch stuff and paint my nails. :) I've been wanting to do that for a little while now, and now that we're kind of burrowing in for the winter now's as good a time as any. :) I definitely want to go with a wintry color of some sort, like midnight blue or a deep, dark purple. We'll just have to see what's available at the local CVS when the time comes.
On Sunday, we'll visit with a few friends before they head out to CO for their Christmas. It's hard to believe that the day's only 15 days away and that I only have 9 working days left in the year. Thinking of it that way really brings home the fact that I have finite time to take care of any work projects left to do, so I'd better get cracking.
I'll definitely need to start with writing down what I'd like to finish up before the New Year, both at home and at work. Devoting a good chunk of time to that this afternoon feels like a wise choice.
Oh, and I'm planning to bake bread over the weekend! A dear friend has sent us some quince butter for Christmas and it feels only right that a similarly home-made loaf should be the butter delivery system. :9
I've really come to love to-do lists for this very reason. Experts say that writing down the things you need to do can lighten the cognitive load and that nagging worry you're forgetting something, and I must say it's proven true in my case. When I have a clear list of things that need to get done through the day I feel so much better. Unsure of what to do next? Thankfully I can just consult my list and handle it.
What would be nice is creating a list of quick tasks I can handle in under, say, 15 minutes, for those times where I'm waiting for something to happen or just need to fill time until the next thing. Duolingo would be perfect for those slots, but most likely I end up getting distracted by various games I've got going on. And there's nothing wrong with playing games -- until I have this nagging thought about them being the best use of my time.
That being said, I feel like I stay busy and on the whole I'm fairly productive. But you know, you could always be doing better, right?
Work is in a weird spot right now where everyone is just...letting me do my own thing because of the Mom situation. I really appreciate the space, but honestly there isn't much for me to do on that front. I could be using the time to reconnect with family or get ahead with Christmas cards and/or presents, but I would feel way too guilty about that. Mostly. I think I'll need to just knuckle down and take care of a few things I know needs taken care of. Next week, if the situation calls for it, I'll schedule "office hour" sessions that anyone can join while I'm handling tickets. That way, I can help clear the queues and train folks at the same time. It's a win-win!
I've been bad about the coping mechanisms that would help me keep my head on straight, too. Meditation in the morning has given way to checking news and Twitter and Telegram, which is no bueno. I tend to forget my medication a bit too often (like right now), which means it's harder to settle into a groove early. Exercise has taken a bit of a hiatus for like, no reason. And Bullet Journaling has been spotty at best. These things happen, you fall out of the rhythm that would be best for you. But mindfulness helps you to acknowledge these times more readily so you can get back on the path you've laid for yourself. This weekend will be that kind of "soft reset".
I'm planning to bake bread tomorrow and clean up the burrow a bit. That means folding clothes, unpacking my suitcase from the con, organizing the bedroom, sweeping and mopping floors, cleaning the bathroom, straightening up Biscuit's area, etc. I have a D&D game set for Saturday afternoon; it's a two- or three-session campaign featuring a whole heap of high-level rogues. The DM is new but formidable -- he's got description down pat, knows how to pace his scenes, and has definitely learned a thing or two from Matt Mercer of Critical Role. The players are a mix of newbies and veterans, though I might just be the most-seasoned player at the table. So far I've hung back; it's a big group, we're all online, and it's been hard to get a word in edgewise. I don't necessarily mind that, but...I don't expect this session will be easier to speak up with.
One of the things I've realized I could be better about is active listening, just really hearing what people are saying but more importantly understanding what they mean. That kind of keen observation is at the heart of great writing and communication, after all. Learning to unlock how people think through how they speak is...a type of magic that used to feel second-nature to me. Now it's a little harder, and I think it's because I've spent so much time worried about myself and what's going on in my head. Making *myself* understood. But when you have insight into how people think, it becomes a bit easier to communicate in ways they're ready to hear. Keeping quiet until I'm sure I can say something with the right impact feels like the type of old-man-shit I should get good at in my 40s. This D&D game feels like a good chance to do that.
R. wants to go to Frolic on Saturday night, and if he does I'll invite H. over so we can watch stuff and paint my nails. :) I've been wanting to do that for a little while now, and now that we're kind of burrowing in for the winter now's as good a time as any. :) I definitely want to go with a wintry color of some sort, like midnight blue or a deep, dark purple. We'll just have to see what's available at the local CVS when the time comes.
On Sunday, we'll visit with a few friends before they head out to CO for their Christmas. It's hard to believe that the day's only 15 days away and that I only have 9 working days left in the year. Thinking of it that way really brings home the fact that I have finite time to take care of any work projects left to do, so I'd better get cracking.
I'll definitely need to start with writing down what I'd like to finish up before the New Year, both at home and at work. Devoting a good chunk of time to that this afternoon feels like a wise choice.
Oh, and I'm planning to bake bread over the weekend! A dear friend has sent us some quince butter for Christmas and it feels only right that a similarly home-made loaf should be the butter delivery system. :9
