New Month, Who Dis?
Sep. 30th, 2021 10:00 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jakebe
September is almost over, and it finally feels like we're getting our first few days of fall. There's that delicious chill in the air that calls for a cozy jacket and a warm drink. The days feel a little shorter, though I know that process is happening imperceptibly slow. And all of a sudden there's a ton of new stuff I want to watch on TV!
Still, it's going to be close to 90 over the weekend here so we might have to turn on our standing AC for one last hurrah before it goes back into the closet for good. That's a bit of a bummer; it would have been nice to go out for disc golf or something like that this weekend.
It's possible I'll have a three-day work week. When my boss heard that it was our 13th wedding anniversary she all but shooed me away from the computer. The impromptu day off was actually most welcome. I cleaned up a bit around the house, went shopping, played a *little* bit of Pathfinder: Kingmaker. When R came home, we drove down to Half Moon Bay (the first beach we ever visited together) to drink champagne and watch the sunset. Unfortunately, it was lightly raining and there was a ton of fog. We didn't see the sun, but we drank the champagne anyway and enjoyed the wet.
In many way I still feel like I'm learning how to be more adaptable. There are so many things in life completely outside of our control that have the ability to change our circumstances, and if we act like it's a personal affront every time we're going to end up miserable. It feels better to...not surrender, necessarily, but understand that you can only work with what's in front of you. Wishing things were different just wastes energy, you know?
At work, this manifests as checking my emotional reaction when obstacles prevent me from doing what I want to do as quickly as I want to do it, or trying not to get too thrown when the business pivots and I have to throw out what I've been working on to catch up. It really sucks, but what are you going to do? Everyone around me already knows it sucks; taking up time complaining about it -- instead of making the transition as smooth as I can -- doesn't help the team.
That being said, sometimes pushing back is necessary. If the conditions of your workplace aren't allowing you to actually work the way you need in order to be effective, that's a problem. It's a balancing act that I'm still learning. Not just when to disagree with a boss, but how.
I feel like I've been making progress in a few different areas. I'm much better about doing the things I should be doing (cleaning as I go, doing a thing instead of procrastinating), but there's still room for improvement. I haven't been able to get back to writing, but it's not necessarily because of the block. When I think about writing something new, I'm not filled with that paralyzing dread -- a gentle curiosity has replaced it, a seed that is already sprouting with time. I've been thinking more about the kinds of stories I like to read and how they're told -- and this is leading to me thinking about my stories in ways that feel more productive. Instead of focusing so much on plot or how scenes are stitched together, I'm thinking about the internal lives of the characters and how they came to be. And that makes them feel more real. I'm finally connecting with them emotionally.
One of the things I've learned, especially about the 'mystery box' story, is that character is still the most important thing to nail. You can cover up plotholes or survive a bad twist as long as the audience is still invested in the character journey. That's the thing that LOST got right -- even through all of the mysteries and batshit premises, it came down to the characters getting what they wanted. Even relatively weak characters ended up with strong endings, just because the writers wisely decided to focus on wrapping up character arcs instead of solving mysteries.
So that's what I'll be doing. Plots don't need to be twisty and mysterious to hook readers. But if they are, what the character wants while navigating the plot has to be relatable, something we care about. Character first. Always.
I'm not sure if this is healthy, but part of the progress I've been making has been a recognition that this is probably the best my life is going to be, right now. I want to appreciate what I have -- a loving relationship, a stable job, a comfortable home, a support network -- because I have no idea how long any of this will last. I've come to accept that the future is going to be a difficult place, even if I have no real idea of how difficult it's going to be, or what I'll need to part with in order to meet it. The climate is going to continue to grow more wild and dangerous, and as a society we're just not in a position to do anything about it. We can't take care of our most vulnerable citizens; we can't even regulate our capitalist system to make things more equitable for others and give ourselves a chance at survival. There's a real possibility the human race will go extinct in the next 100 years.
But that's all outside of my control, right? I'm not going to give up, and I'm not going to let anyone around me sink into despair. All I can do is...become a better person. That I CAN control. And that involves appreciating what I have while developing the virtues I'll need to make it in an uncertain future. So that's what I'll do.
Still, it's going to be close to 90 over the weekend here so we might have to turn on our standing AC for one last hurrah before it goes back into the closet for good. That's a bit of a bummer; it would have been nice to go out for disc golf or something like that this weekend.
It's possible I'll have a three-day work week. When my boss heard that it was our 13th wedding anniversary she all but shooed me away from the computer. The impromptu day off was actually most welcome. I cleaned up a bit around the house, went shopping, played a *little* bit of Pathfinder: Kingmaker. When R came home, we drove down to Half Moon Bay (the first beach we ever visited together) to drink champagne and watch the sunset. Unfortunately, it was lightly raining and there was a ton of fog. We didn't see the sun, but we drank the champagne anyway and enjoyed the wet.
In many way I still feel like I'm learning how to be more adaptable. There are so many things in life completely outside of our control that have the ability to change our circumstances, and if we act like it's a personal affront every time we're going to end up miserable. It feels better to...not surrender, necessarily, but understand that you can only work with what's in front of you. Wishing things were different just wastes energy, you know?
At work, this manifests as checking my emotional reaction when obstacles prevent me from doing what I want to do as quickly as I want to do it, or trying not to get too thrown when the business pivots and I have to throw out what I've been working on to catch up. It really sucks, but what are you going to do? Everyone around me already knows it sucks; taking up time complaining about it -- instead of making the transition as smooth as I can -- doesn't help the team.
That being said, sometimes pushing back is necessary. If the conditions of your workplace aren't allowing you to actually work the way you need in order to be effective, that's a problem. It's a balancing act that I'm still learning. Not just when to disagree with a boss, but how.
I feel like I've been making progress in a few different areas. I'm much better about doing the things I should be doing (cleaning as I go, doing a thing instead of procrastinating), but there's still room for improvement. I haven't been able to get back to writing, but it's not necessarily because of the block. When I think about writing something new, I'm not filled with that paralyzing dread -- a gentle curiosity has replaced it, a seed that is already sprouting with time. I've been thinking more about the kinds of stories I like to read and how they're told -- and this is leading to me thinking about my stories in ways that feel more productive. Instead of focusing so much on plot or how scenes are stitched together, I'm thinking about the internal lives of the characters and how they came to be. And that makes them feel more real. I'm finally connecting with them emotionally.
One of the things I've learned, especially about the 'mystery box' story, is that character is still the most important thing to nail. You can cover up plotholes or survive a bad twist as long as the audience is still invested in the character journey. That's the thing that LOST got right -- even through all of the mysteries and batshit premises, it came down to the characters getting what they wanted. Even relatively weak characters ended up with strong endings, just because the writers wisely decided to focus on wrapping up character arcs instead of solving mysteries.
So that's what I'll be doing. Plots don't need to be twisty and mysterious to hook readers. But if they are, what the character wants while navigating the plot has to be relatable, something we care about. Character first. Always.
I'm not sure if this is healthy, but part of the progress I've been making has been a recognition that this is probably the best my life is going to be, right now. I want to appreciate what I have -- a loving relationship, a stable job, a comfortable home, a support network -- because I have no idea how long any of this will last. I've come to accept that the future is going to be a difficult place, even if I have no real idea of how difficult it's going to be, or what I'll need to part with in order to meet it. The climate is going to continue to grow more wild and dangerous, and as a society we're just not in a position to do anything about it. We can't take care of our most vulnerable citizens; we can't even regulate our capitalist system to make things more equitable for others and give ourselves a chance at survival. There's a real possibility the human race will go extinct in the next 100 years.
But that's all outside of my control, right? I'm not going to give up, and I'm not going to let anyone around me sink into despair. All I can do is...become a better person. That I CAN control. And that involves appreciating what I have while developing the virtues I'll need to make it in an uncertain future. So that's what I'll do.
