Harewatch - March 22nd, 2010
Mar. 23rd, 2010 10:48 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jakebe
Weight: 185.0 pounds
I'd like to thank everyone who wrote in a couple of weeks ago to set me straight on the reason for doing this. It's really easy to get caught up in the metrics of success, so you forget that the numbers are only part of the bigger picture. Of course, having a weekly, small cash wager with a friend that I constantly lose isn't helping that much, either. ;)
That being said, I do think the lack of results through the numbers is pointing towards something going off here. I'm trending down, of course, but not at the rate my level of exercise and my reformed diet should be taking me. I do have my one 'cheat day' a week, and I'm not as strict about my diet as I could be during the other six, but on the whole I've gotten significantly better about what I eat and (most importantly) when I eat it.
I am well aware of my tendencies to eat when I'm stressed, or bored. I've gotten better at recognizing when the urge to nibble on something is borne of those triggers, and I can resist them just fine. While there's still a way to go, my relationship with food has gotten a lot healthier. Gone are the days of dysfunctional binging. (Mostly) Gone are the days of guilt-borne fasting and severity. For the most part, I'm able to have my cake and eat it too.
One thing I've begun to notice, however, is that my body and I are speaking the same language, even if we're saying different things. I'll want a sugar rush, run out to get a pack of Skittles or Mike and Ikes, and down the whole bag. There's that small moment of blissful gratification, and then my stomach feels heavy and odd, like the sugar has gone sour in it. It's really interesting to me, because I used to be able to handle buckets of sugar with no problem. Now, either because my gastonomical landscape has shifted so or because I'm getting older, I can take less and less without my body complaining at me. This is good! However, my desire for sugar remains the same as it ever was; even though I know it'll make me sick, I can't stop wanting more of it most of the time. I'm working on it, but it's still kind of cool to note the ways in which my body is changing but my mind really isn't.
So, where to go from here? I'll still be counting calories, and paying close attention to what I eat. But I'll also be trying to *enjoy* what it is I'm eating, regardless of whether it's healthy or not. I'd love to get to a point where I can have a salad for lunch, feel full and satisfied through the afternoon and have a bowl of ice cream for dinner without feeling guilty for it, but I also know that that's a long way off. I think the reason why I've become so obsessive about the quality of my diet lately is I feel like I have to be in order to have the smallest chance of success. When you get right down to it, even in image-conscious California, we love rich, calorie-loaded foods combined with sedentary lifestyles. I'm working in front of a computer all day, and there's a bakery that sells (Gods help me!) pastries and cookies all day, right down stairs. The insane thing is that my options for lunch are actually rather poor here.
It's so difficult to eat healthily that you find yourself slipping into an antagonistic attitude regarding food. Everything you could have that looks even remotely interesting has some dietary ding against it, so you end up fighting this war of attrition. Salad is boring without dressing, but everything either has too much sugar (honey mustard, French), too much fat (ranch, Italian) or too much sodium (vinaigrettes), or sometimes all three. Sandwiches are full of calorie-rich carbs, and most of the good condiments have the same problems salad dressings do. Chicken salad? Tuna? Surprisingly bad, since they're full of mayo. Even the vegetarian sandwiches at the Specialty's nearby are loaded with oils, cheeses and spreads that up the fat and calorie count.
The options that truly are healthy are few and tend to be relatively flavorless, so you're eating the same few things over and over again. You end up thinking that you have to be strict because it's the only way to be 'safe'. And, over time, you start to develop the mindset that if you enjoy what you're eating, in some way it has to be bad for you. Food becomes this strange, hostile, abusive thing. If you give in and eat what you enjoy, you're weak and fat. If you stay strong and dedicated, you're doomed to a life of eating fruits, vegetables and unseasoned lean meat. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
There's got to be a middle path here. There's got to be a way to eat healthy, to slip now and then, to lose weight and not feel like you're being set up to fail. How does that work?
I think I simply need to establish what my ideal diet and exercise lifestyle is like, and find a way to get as close to that as I can. Though I'm sure![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
toob might disagree with me here, I want to have a variety of options for food. I love fresh vegetables, but I love Italian and Mexican food. Honestly? I could cut back on my sandwich intake severely and be OK. I'd be happy if my breads came mostly from pastries or Subway. ;) I'd be fine with eating beef only occassionally, chicken a bit more, and bacon only on anniversaries and birthdays. Candies would be my one weakness, but I'd try to leave it down to a pack a week habit.
For exercise, mostly cardio -- running and ellipticals four times a week, say, supplemented by weight training on two days. Oddly enough, my prep for the Bay to Breakers matches that almost exactly. I'd like to focus on body weight and 'practical' exercising -- activities that incorporate a more organic, full-body workout without *needing* to go to the gym. Say, tennis or neighborhood football, or basketball.
The exercise, however, is good, and I'll keep on doing what I'm doing there. What I'll be doing over the next couple weeks is trying to align my diet more closely to what I can see myself eating and enjoying on a regular basis. Tonight and tomorrow, dinner is pretty much set, but we'll be having company from out of town over the weekend and it'll be an excellent opportunity to cook in a couple of times.
At any rate, the point is well taken from you guys, and I'll be doing my best to keep my eye on what I'm actually doing.
I'd like to thank everyone who wrote in a couple of weeks ago to set me straight on the reason for doing this. It's really easy to get caught up in the metrics of success, so you forget that the numbers are only part of the bigger picture. Of course, having a weekly, small cash wager with a friend that I constantly lose isn't helping that much, either. ;)
That being said, I do think the lack of results through the numbers is pointing towards something going off here. I'm trending down, of course, but not at the rate my level of exercise and my reformed diet should be taking me. I do have my one 'cheat day' a week, and I'm not as strict about my diet as I could be during the other six, but on the whole I've gotten significantly better about what I eat and (most importantly) when I eat it.
I am well aware of my tendencies to eat when I'm stressed, or bored. I've gotten better at recognizing when the urge to nibble on something is borne of those triggers, and I can resist them just fine. While there's still a way to go, my relationship with food has gotten a lot healthier. Gone are the days of dysfunctional binging. (Mostly) Gone are the days of guilt-borne fasting and severity. For the most part, I'm able to have my cake and eat it too.
One thing I've begun to notice, however, is that my body and I are speaking the same language, even if we're saying different things. I'll want a sugar rush, run out to get a pack of Skittles or Mike and Ikes, and down the whole bag. There's that small moment of blissful gratification, and then my stomach feels heavy and odd, like the sugar has gone sour in it. It's really interesting to me, because I used to be able to handle buckets of sugar with no problem. Now, either because my gastonomical landscape has shifted so or because I'm getting older, I can take less and less without my body complaining at me. This is good! However, my desire for sugar remains the same as it ever was; even though I know it'll make me sick, I can't stop wanting more of it most of the time. I'm working on it, but it's still kind of cool to note the ways in which my body is changing but my mind really isn't.
So, where to go from here? I'll still be counting calories, and paying close attention to what I eat. But I'll also be trying to *enjoy* what it is I'm eating, regardless of whether it's healthy or not. I'd love to get to a point where I can have a salad for lunch, feel full and satisfied through the afternoon and have a bowl of ice cream for dinner without feeling guilty for it, but I also know that that's a long way off. I think the reason why I've become so obsessive about the quality of my diet lately is I feel like I have to be in order to have the smallest chance of success. When you get right down to it, even in image-conscious California, we love rich, calorie-loaded foods combined with sedentary lifestyles. I'm working in front of a computer all day, and there's a bakery that sells (Gods help me!) pastries and cookies all day, right down stairs. The insane thing is that my options for lunch are actually rather poor here.
It's so difficult to eat healthily that you find yourself slipping into an antagonistic attitude regarding food. Everything you could have that looks even remotely interesting has some dietary ding against it, so you end up fighting this war of attrition. Salad is boring without dressing, but everything either has too much sugar (honey mustard, French), too much fat (ranch, Italian) or too much sodium (vinaigrettes), or sometimes all three. Sandwiches are full of calorie-rich carbs, and most of the good condiments have the same problems salad dressings do. Chicken salad? Tuna? Surprisingly bad, since they're full of mayo. Even the vegetarian sandwiches at the Specialty's nearby are loaded with oils, cheeses and spreads that up the fat and calorie count.
The options that truly are healthy are few and tend to be relatively flavorless, so you're eating the same few things over and over again. You end up thinking that you have to be strict because it's the only way to be 'safe'. And, over time, you start to develop the mindset that if you enjoy what you're eating, in some way it has to be bad for you. Food becomes this strange, hostile, abusive thing. If you give in and eat what you enjoy, you're weak and fat. If you stay strong and dedicated, you're doomed to a life of eating fruits, vegetables and unseasoned lean meat. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
There's got to be a middle path here. There's got to be a way to eat healthy, to slip now and then, to lose weight and not feel like you're being set up to fail. How does that work?
I think I simply need to establish what my ideal diet and exercise lifestyle is like, and find a way to get as close to that as I can. Though I'm sure
toob might disagree with me here, I want to have a variety of options for food. I love fresh vegetables, but I love Italian and Mexican food. Honestly? I could cut back on my sandwich intake severely and be OK. I'd be happy if my breads came mostly from pastries or Subway. ;) I'd be fine with eating beef only occassionally, chicken a bit more, and bacon only on anniversaries and birthdays. Candies would be my one weakness, but I'd try to leave it down to a pack a week habit.For exercise, mostly cardio -- running and ellipticals four times a week, say, supplemented by weight training on two days. Oddly enough, my prep for the Bay to Breakers matches that almost exactly. I'd like to focus on body weight and 'practical' exercising -- activities that incorporate a more organic, full-body workout without *needing* to go to the gym. Say, tennis or neighborhood football, or basketball.
The exercise, however, is good, and I'll keep on doing what I'm doing there. What I'll be doing over the next couple weeks is trying to align my diet more closely to what I can see myself eating and enjoying on a regular basis. Tonight and tomorrow, dinner is pretty much set, but we'll be having company from out of town over the weekend and it'll be an excellent opportunity to cook in a couple of times.
At any rate, the point is well taken from you guys, and I'll be doing my best to keep my eye on what I'm actually doing.
