Superstring Theory
Jan. 11th, 2010 11:33 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jakebe
The idea that willpower is a muscle has been getting a lot more play recently in the self-help/lifehack circles, and I'm beginning to see why. Well, besides the simple fact that it's a really damned good description. I'm running into willpower fatigue more and more with my resolutions, as simple as they are, and I think this is something most people never take into account when they decide they're going to be healthier or do that thing they've always wanted to do. Changing your habits takes effort, and that effort takes mental power, and sooner or later we all run out of that. What do we do when our muscles give out and we can't muster anything else to keep going?
I wish I had an answer for that, because if I did I wouldn't be in the predicament I'm in now. I *gained* one and a half pounds over the week, I didn't come close to hitting my 500-words-a-day mark, and though I've made progress in some areas I've slacked off in a lot of others. On the bright side, I don't think it's time to throw in the towel on my goals just yet; I realize what's happened. My mental muscle gave out, and it needs a little time to rest before trying another endurance run. Hopefully, next time, I'll be able to try and keep up the routine a little longer.
It's important to allow yourself the slack you need to fail. One of the big reasons that we typically stare back through the year with a trail of broken resolutions is that we seriously underestimate the amount of effort it takes to really take hold of a new habit, and we overestimate the amount of mental real estate we can give to it. Yes, there's the excitement and satisfaction of doing something you know is right, but that's only going to get you so far. You have to make these resolutions knowing that you're going to slip up once or twice, and that it's OK if you do, that you can always get back up and try again. Changing your lifestyle, no matter how small a change you're making, is a long and complicated one; as awesome as it would be, you can't expect to flip a switch and rock out from January 1st on.
As necessary as forgiveness and understanding is to keeping your resolution, it's also very important to pick yourself up every time with an eye towards what went wrong and how you can prevent the same thing from going wrong in the same way in the future. Keeping your promises is difficult work, and the true test of endurance comes from the capacity you have to keep recovering from setbacks and tweaking your theories and processes so that they're always working better.
So that's the point I'm struggling with right now. What happened this week? What went wrong, and how do I fix that?
What I've tried to do for the sake of my sanity is break down broad, over-reaching goals ("Write more." "Spend less.") into a series of small, tangible goals that I can accomplish over a short period of time ("Write at least 500 words in short story or blog entries every day." "Take my breakfast and lunch to work.") That way I'm not forced to take the long view *all* the time, and I develop a sort of 'superstring' theory of self-improvement, where I can connect these small, measurable actions to sweeping changes that are hard to notice, much less quantify. When the willpower's on, this works really well. When I'm struggling, though, the 'nose to the grindstone' view kind of backfires. One little slip up is a small price to pay for the immediate gratification of a sugar rush, or the wonderful feeling I get crunching into a Popeye's biscuit, but you indulge in one little slip-up too often, and your weight goes up or your refining taste for better food gets shot.
I've been trying to keep in mind that a better lifestyle -- a better life, in fact -- all comes down to the kinds of choices we make throughout the day. If we want to be happier, friendlier, more thoughtful, we need to see each moment as an opportunity to remake ourselves into the kind of people that we want to be. So, when I'm faced with the choice of ordering a cookie with lunch, or getting up right away to fix lunch or sleeping in an extra ten minutes, it's easier to make the decision when I preface the choice with "What kind of person do I want to be?" And I have to answer that question each time, without regard for the decisions I've made previously.
There comes a point (probably when the willpower runs out) when that question stops working though, and I don't quite have an answer for that yet. What other reminders could I give myself? I'm so over guilt, but there's got to be something else I can do, right?
What would you guys recommend? Is there something more physical I could be doing to keep myself on the straight and narrow? Reduce my proximity to my biggest temptations? Wake up earlier so I can 'sleep in' *and* make my lunch? What do you guys do when your reserves of willpower get low? Do you guys have your own 'superstring theories', thoughts that connect moments of weakness (or success) to the bigger picture you're trying to achieve?
I wish I had an answer for that, because if I did I wouldn't be in the predicament I'm in now. I *gained* one and a half pounds over the week, I didn't come close to hitting my 500-words-a-day mark, and though I've made progress in some areas I've slacked off in a lot of others. On the bright side, I don't think it's time to throw in the towel on my goals just yet; I realize what's happened. My mental muscle gave out, and it needs a little time to rest before trying another endurance run. Hopefully, next time, I'll be able to try and keep up the routine a little longer.
It's important to allow yourself the slack you need to fail. One of the big reasons that we typically stare back through the year with a trail of broken resolutions is that we seriously underestimate the amount of effort it takes to really take hold of a new habit, and we overestimate the amount of mental real estate we can give to it. Yes, there's the excitement and satisfaction of doing something you know is right, but that's only going to get you so far. You have to make these resolutions knowing that you're going to slip up once or twice, and that it's OK if you do, that you can always get back up and try again. Changing your lifestyle, no matter how small a change you're making, is a long and complicated one; as awesome as it would be, you can't expect to flip a switch and rock out from January 1st on.
As necessary as forgiveness and understanding is to keeping your resolution, it's also very important to pick yourself up every time with an eye towards what went wrong and how you can prevent the same thing from going wrong in the same way in the future. Keeping your promises is difficult work, and the true test of endurance comes from the capacity you have to keep recovering from setbacks and tweaking your theories and processes so that they're always working better.
So that's the point I'm struggling with right now. What happened this week? What went wrong, and how do I fix that?
What I've tried to do for the sake of my sanity is break down broad, over-reaching goals ("Write more." "Spend less.") into a series of small, tangible goals that I can accomplish over a short period of time ("Write at least 500 words in short story or blog entries every day." "Take my breakfast and lunch to work.") That way I'm not forced to take the long view *all* the time, and I develop a sort of 'superstring' theory of self-improvement, where I can connect these small, measurable actions to sweeping changes that are hard to notice, much less quantify. When the willpower's on, this works really well. When I'm struggling, though, the 'nose to the grindstone' view kind of backfires. One little slip up is a small price to pay for the immediate gratification of a sugar rush, or the wonderful feeling I get crunching into a Popeye's biscuit, but you indulge in one little slip-up too often, and your weight goes up or your refining taste for better food gets shot.
I've been trying to keep in mind that a better lifestyle -- a better life, in fact -- all comes down to the kinds of choices we make throughout the day. If we want to be happier, friendlier, more thoughtful, we need to see each moment as an opportunity to remake ourselves into the kind of people that we want to be. So, when I'm faced with the choice of ordering a cookie with lunch, or getting up right away to fix lunch or sleeping in an extra ten minutes, it's easier to make the decision when I preface the choice with "What kind of person do I want to be?" And I have to answer that question each time, without regard for the decisions I've made previously.
There comes a point (probably when the willpower runs out) when that question stops working though, and I don't quite have an answer for that yet. What other reminders could I give myself? I'm so over guilt, but there's got to be something else I can do, right?
What would you guys recommend? Is there something more physical I could be doing to keep myself on the straight and narrow? Reduce my proximity to my biggest temptations? Wake up earlier so I can 'sleep in' *and* make my lunch? What do you guys do when your reserves of willpower get low? Do you guys have your own 'superstring theories', thoughts that connect moments of weakness (or success) to the bigger picture you're trying to achieve?
