The Obligatory Post-Freak Post
Jul. 18th, 2006 10:24 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jakebe
Sorry about that little spazzy post before; I was running on three hours sleep and desperate to get something down before, you know, I forgot about it.
I've been wanting to clarify my position for a long time, but...maybe another day. Right now I've got work to do and I'd like to take time to make sure I'm as clear as possible. "Be impeccable with your word."
I've come to a point where I'm just...amused at how silly and hypocritical, self-centered and pretentious I can be. I don't really excuse myself, but I'm at a point where I can openly recognize "That was incredibly shallow.", chuckle at myself for my foibles and remind myself that I'm being a first-class turd. It's an amazing place to come to. Of course, this just means tomorrow I'll go right back to doubting myself and wishing some dark little corner of my consciousness would shrivel up and go away. Such is the nature of realization.
It seems I was engaged in some manner of debate for most of Sunday and half of Monday. Thankfully,![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
bamboofae rescued me for a much-needed shopping trip and a bit of fresh air. Thanks to her! I watched In My Country and Amelie at some point, and both of them are fairly excellent movies. Today, I'm running on three hours' sleep and coffee, but for some reason I'm much happier than I was on Saturday.
Been thinking a lot about totems, my relationship with them. By far, Rabbit has been the one I've been closest to, and for many reasons that I won't go into here. I expect Raven to be back, though, some time when I've developed further. No, people probably won't know about it. ;)
My imagination comes back to me in fits and starts these days. There's no warning about what might trigger a vivid image, and they often come without warning. I've taken to carrying little scraps of paper with me to write down meaningless phrases that expain everything somehow at the very moment I come up with them. They'll probably be forgotten, cached in my pockets somewhere, until sometime later where I'll take them out as some kind of weird, time-capsuley letter to myself from Twelve Days Ago. *shrug* It's a thing.
Ah well, back to work.
I've been wanting to clarify my position for a long time, but...maybe another day. Right now I've got work to do and I'd like to take time to make sure I'm as clear as possible. "Be impeccable with your word."
I've come to a point where I'm just...amused at how silly and hypocritical, self-centered and pretentious I can be. I don't really excuse myself, but I'm at a point where I can openly recognize "That was incredibly shallow.", chuckle at myself for my foibles and remind myself that I'm being a first-class turd. It's an amazing place to come to. Of course, this just means tomorrow I'll go right back to doubting myself and wishing some dark little corner of my consciousness would shrivel up and go away. Such is the nature of realization.
It seems I was engaged in some manner of debate for most of Sunday and half of Monday. Thankfully,
bamboofae rescued me for a much-needed shopping trip and a bit of fresh air. Thanks to her! I watched In My Country and Amelie at some point, and both of them are fairly excellent movies. Today, I'm running on three hours' sleep and coffee, but for some reason I'm much happier than I was on Saturday.Been thinking a lot about totems, my relationship with them. By far, Rabbit has been the one I've been closest to, and for many reasons that I won't go into here. I expect Raven to be back, though, some time when I've developed further. No, people probably won't know about it. ;)
My imagination comes back to me in fits and starts these days. There's no warning about what might trigger a vivid image, and they often come without warning. I've taken to carrying little scraps of paper with me to write down meaningless phrases that expain everything somehow at the very moment I come up with them. They'll probably be forgotten, cached in my pockets somewhere, until sometime later where I'll take them out as some kind of weird, time-capsuley letter to myself from Twelve Days Ago. *shrug* It's a thing.
Ah well, back to work.
