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jakebe
Thanksgiving 2005 has come and gone, marking the start of the holiday season (at least, that's what various retailers would have you believe... (/conspiracy)). The NARFA Turkey Day thing went very well, and everyone gathered at the abode of ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
stickypawz and I to decimate Ryngs' ham and a few other things. Our kitchen is once again a wreck, but I'm glad it is. A messy house is a house well-lived...in. Or something.
I made roasted garlic mashed potatoes, which went over well (onlyprismo specifically complimented me on it...thanks, Walla, for building my fragile ego ;)), and carrot cake which was *awesome* but no one ate (more for me!), and borscht, which was officially D.O.A. I'm not sure what went wrong, exactly; the soup itself wasn't bad, actually, but with 'exotic' dishes and the like you want to be sure it knocks people's socks off so they'll try it. No such luck; at best, it was below average. So we all made fun of the word 'borscht' instead, which is kind of like eating it. Only you don't stain your teeth beet red.
Now begins the countdown to Vacation 2005. :D At this time next week I'll be in sunny California, kissing Tube every chance I get and many other activities that won't be mentioned here. :) There's so much to do before that happens, though; I'll be working every day except Sunday until I leave, and I have to do laundry and pack, and play in a game, run a game, and watch a movie with a dear friend. Oof.
Work is appropriately worky; I'm trying to catch up on everything and organize stuff so it's not so difficult to work my sections when I'm gone. I think I'll actually be in good shape if I can just shelve Travel duplicates before I go. Everything else is pretty much done, except for Travel actually being straightened. Ah well, it'll be good to have goals to come back to. ;)
The Narnia movie is fast-approaching, and I cannot wait! This is the movie I've been waiting for all year. What worries me, though, is that the whole thing becomes tied with the evangelical surge happening here in America and people get turned off to 'yet another conversion attempt.' Lewis doesn't deserve the tag of prosletyzer, and his work certainly doesn't deserve to be a tool of some politico-Christian faction just aiming to put more butts in the pews. It bothers me on some intrinsic level whenever something pure becomes corrupted for something so...common and dirty. Lewis' faith is all over his books, and it's not asking its audience for anything. It's just there, and that's very attractive. I'd hate to see the chance for his work to speak for itself ruined by someone with an agenda. Bad form. :P
One more push with books, and then I'll go home.arlekin's Werewolf game is tonight. It's very...interesting so far. I think it's because our group is so small (the only players are Jim and I), but the task before us is depressingly large for only two people...even if they are two people who can rip the faces off most other folks without even blinking. More thinking about why I don't like W:tA, ultimately, ensues.
If you read all of White Wolf's canon books in the line, there is absolutely no reason the entire planet shouldn't be a festering nightmare-pit of Wyrm-spawn. Pentex, the global corporation that serves as the capitalist arm of the Wyrm, has its fingers into everything, and that's not an understatement. Pharmaceutical companies, media outlets, manufacturers, logging companies, agricultural businesses, fast food chains, toy makers, clothing stores, construction...you name a business or a chain, and according to White Wolf, Pentex is a major player in a very big way. Supposedly control over market is so entrenched, if not complete, there's no way to stamp it out. Destroy one operation, the next day there's another one to take its place...with beefier security in place. You're fighting a hydra with limitless heads.
I know this is White Wolf's schtick -- being involved in a truly hopeless situation -- but what's the point of fighting if there's no chance you'll win? I suppose there's a fine line between 'hopeless' and 'dire,' but all too often there's the pervasive feeling in these games that what you'll do won't make a damned bit of difference. Work and fight and struggle for 20 hours a day, 7 days a week if you want -- the Apocalypse is going to happen if you kill yourself fighting the Wyrm or if you sit on your hands and whimper.
So, really, what is it we're supposed to be doing? Keep fighting anyway? Try to save your own piece of the planet for as long as you can? The romanticization of fighting a losing battle is all well and good, but the reality is it sucks putting in all of your effort knowing it's not going to be good enough. What keeps you going, then?
The question is a lot more interesting to think about than to live out, and 'living it out' is pretty much what W:tA forces you to do. You're in the trenches, fighting unspeakable horrors for a species that would either kill or experiment on you if it ever knew you existed, with the distinct knowledge that not only are you fighting for a lost cause, you're going to die eventually doing it. Is it right to die what is essentially a meaningless death? What's the point?
I'm reminded of "The Myth of Sisyphus," in which Camus posits that he can only imagine Sisyphus happy. This is a man who is doomed to an eternity of perhaps the most pointless exercise there is -- rolling a rock up a hill, only to have it come back down. How could he be happy?
It's been a while, so my memory might have misplaced the point. The idea as I remember it, though, is that Sisyphus must be happy because his purpose is realized and he's aware of it, finally. Sisyphus has come to the culmination of his life's experiences, and it's here in front of him, cool curved stone that he's intimately familiar with. He's happy because he's a rock pusher, nothing more, nothing less.
It's absurd, but that's the point. Life itself is absurd in the fact that it has no inherent meaning. So, you can sit and be utterly depressed about the directionlessness of all existence, or you can take responsibility for yourself and give your life some kind of direction. It doesn't *matter* that it doesn't matter, ultimately -- what matters is that it matters to you. Don't see the forest, only pay attention to the trees.
That works in theory, definitely, but if you're unable to apply it practically, it doesn't do you a whole lot of good. When you're considering the situation of tha Garou, you really have to think of it as 'existentialism in action.' Werewolves are just big angry Sisyphuses running around and raging against stones. What makes the whole thing unhappy is that they're not even aware of it; no one gets the pointlessness, so no one can process it.
Maybe you see the trees, notice there's a forest, and pay attention to the trees again. That's the last time I use that metaphor, I promise.
Anyway, this is what gaming does for me; it's a gateway towards philosophical rumination through mythology. And I believe it can serve that purpose well, if you know how to point people in that direction.
I rambled a bit longer than I thought I was going to. Ah well. :) Hope everyone had a great holiday.
stickypawz and I to decimate Ryngs' ham and a few other things. Our kitchen is once again a wreck, but I'm glad it is. A messy house is a house well-lived...in. Or something.I made roasted garlic mashed potatoes, which went over well (only
prismo specifically complimented me on it...thanks, Walla, for building my fragile ego ;)), and carrot cake which was *awesome* but no one ate (more for me!), and borscht, which was officially D.O.A. I'm not sure what went wrong, exactly; the soup itself wasn't bad, actually, but with 'exotic' dishes and the like you want to be sure it knocks people's socks off so they'll try it. No such luck; at best, it was below average. So we all made fun of the word 'borscht' instead, which is kind of like eating it. Only you don't stain your teeth beet red.Now begins the countdown to Vacation 2005. :D At this time next week I'll be in sunny California, kissing Tube every chance I get and many other activities that won't be mentioned here. :) There's so much to do before that happens, though; I'll be working every day except Sunday until I leave, and I have to do laundry and pack, and play in a game, run a game, and watch a movie with a dear friend. Oof.
Work is appropriately worky; I'm trying to catch up on everything and organize stuff so it's not so difficult to work my sections when I'm gone. I think I'll actually be in good shape if I can just shelve Travel duplicates before I go. Everything else is pretty much done, except for Travel actually being straightened. Ah well, it'll be good to have goals to come back to. ;)
The Narnia movie is fast-approaching, and I cannot wait! This is the movie I've been waiting for all year. What worries me, though, is that the whole thing becomes tied with the evangelical surge happening here in America and people get turned off to 'yet another conversion attempt.' Lewis doesn't deserve the tag of prosletyzer, and his work certainly doesn't deserve to be a tool of some politico-Christian faction just aiming to put more butts in the pews. It bothers me on some intrinsic level whenever something pure becomes corrupted for something so...common and dirty. Lewis' faith is all over his books, and it's not asking its audience for anything. It's just there, and that's very attractive. I'd hate to see the chance for his work to speak for itself ruined by someone with an agenda. Bad form. :P
One more push with books, and then I'll go home.
arlekin's Werewolf game is tonight. It's very...interesting so far. I think it's because our group is so small (the only players are Jim and I), but the task before us is depressingly large for only two people...even if they are two people who can rip the faces off most other folks without even blinking. More thinking about why I don't like W:tA, ultimately, ensues.If you read all of White Wolf's canon books in the line, there is absolutely no reason the entire planet shouldn't be a festering nightmare-pit of Wyrm-spawn. Pentex, the global corporation that serves as the capitalist arm of the Wyrm, has its fingers into everything, and that's not an understatement. Pharmaceutical companies, media outlets, manufacturers, logging companies, agricultural businesses, fast food chains, toy makers, clothing stores, construction...you name a business or a chain, and according to White Wolf, Pentex is a major player in a very big way. Supposedly control over market is so entrenched, if not complete, there's no way to stamp it out. Destroy one operation, the next day there's another one to take its place...with beefier security in place. You're fighting a hydra with limitless heads.
I know this is White Wolf's schtick -- being involved in a truly hopeless situation -- but what's the point of fighting if there's no chance you'll win? I suppose there's a fine line between 'hopeless' and 'dire,' but all too often there's the pervasive feeling in these games that what you'll do won't make a damned bit of difference. Work and fight and struggle for 20 hours a day, 7 days a week if you want -- the Apocalypse is going to happen if you kill yourself fighting the Wyrm or if you sit on your hands and whimper.
So, really, what is it we're supposed to be doing? Keep fighting anyway? Try to save your own piece of the planet for as long as you can? The romanticization of fighting a losing battle is all well and good, but the reality is it sucks putting in all of your effort knowing it's not going to be good enough. What keeps you going, then?
The question is a lot more interesting to think about than to live out, and 'living it out' is pretty much what W:tA forces you to do. You're in the trenches, fighting unspeakable horrors for a species that would either kill or experiment on you if it ever knew you existed, with the distinct knowledge that not only are you fighting for a lost cause, you're going to die eventually doing it. Is it right to die what is essentially a meaningless death? What's the point?
I'm reminded of "The Myth of Sisyphus," in which Camus posits that he can only imagine Sisyphus happy. This is a man who is doomed to an eternity of perhaps the most pointless exercise there is -- rolling a rock up a hill, only to have it come back down. How could he be happy?
It's been a while, so my memory might have misplaced the point. The idea as I remember it, though, is that Sisyphus must be happy because his purpose is realized and he's aware of it, finally. Sisyphus has come to the culmination of his life's experiences, and it's here in front of him, cool curved stone that he's intimately familiar with. He's happy because he's a rock pusher, nothing more, nothing less.
It's absurd, but that's the point. Life itself is absurd in the fact that it has no inherent meaning. So, you can sit and be utterly depressed about the directionlessness of all existence, or you can take responsibility for yourself and give your life some kind of direction. It doesn't *matter* that it doesn't matter, ultimately -- what matters is that it matters to you. Don't see the forest, only pay attention to the trees.
That works in theory, definitely, but if you're unable to apply it practically, it doesn't do you a whole lot of good. When you're considering the situation of tha Garou, you really have to think of it as 'existentialism in action.' Werewolves are just big angry Sisyphuses running around and raging against stones. What makes the whole thing unhappy is that they're not even aware of it; no one gets the pointlessness, so no one can process it.
Maybe you see the trees, notice there's a forest, and pay attention to the trees again. That's the last time I use that metaphor, I promise.
Anyway, this is what gaming does for me; it's a gateway towards philosophical rumination through mythology. And I believe it can serve that purpose well, if you know how to point people in that direction.
I rambled a bit longer than I thought I was going to. Ah well. :) Hope everyone had a great holiday.
