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jakebe
I think I happened to catch someone's hangover. Ugh, headachy and all cotton-headed today. It could be the stress.
Spent yesterday evening playing poker for M&Ms with a bunch of Odis' old friends. It was a really good time, actually, even though I never won a single hand. Every time I got something really good, there was always someone with something a *little* better. ("I've got 3 8s!" "Ohhh, that's good. I've got three 9's!" *sob*) Maybe this is a subtle kick to the nuts that I won't be very good at poker ever, and that I should probably not gamble.
For those shocked, amazed and/or appalled at yesterday's big 'revelation,' let me clarify: I would like to move to California (again, in or as close to Sunnyvale as possible) to be with![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
toob. That's worth potentially crashing and burning into the Pacific Ocean for. I'm not going to be *stupid* about it, however; that's what the 6 month time frame and the hunting *now* for potential roommate/living arrangements are for. I want to be as prepared as possible. I've bandied about the idea to members of NARFA for some time now, and honestly I'm surprised that people were so taken off-guard by it. Everything is *still* vague and tentative; it could be 6 months until I move, or a year, or whatever. Still, this is me actually looking into the possibility. Don't panic, and PLEASE no drama. I'm seriously considering my options.
Speaking of NARFA, one or two bombs have gone off that might raise the drama quotient to sudsy levels. This might be the equivalent of John crying out in the wilderness (to continue the Biblical allusion), but please people, chill out for a bit. Think before you say or do anything, and for God's sake *think* about the feelings and attitudes of other people. If you truly believe in the community here and truly respect its individual members, please keep in mind that we're all just people and though we might not agree on certain fundamental things there's really nothing in the world worth being a complete asshat over. Though some people jump on any excuse they can find. :P
I think NARFA's greatest sin is really nothing more than the naivete in which it was formed. The earliest days (which I was present for) were filled with a heady, optimistic idealism: we would grow and learn as a community, and as a community we would present our combined knowledge towards the furry fandom as a whole. Simple enough concept, good intentions, enthusiasm from most of the members...what's not to like?
Over time we realized that different members of the group have different intentions, priorities and interests. And whenever you get members as ideologically diverse as ours, there's going to be some butting of heads. It's a simple fact that not everyone is going to get along because of a common interest, especially one as loose as 'anthropomorphic animals.' There are going to be personality conflicts, there's going to be disagreements, and yes, people will even do shitty things to each other on occasion. This is because, as much as we would like to hide or deny or change it, we're human beings.
In the wake of this group realization, that ideally NARFA won't function as a well-oiled machine of growth and altruism, we became intolerant. Yes, intolerant of each other's flaws and quirks and beliefs, but also intolerant to the idea that we can disagree and still share each other's space. The basic respect we shared for one another evaporated, and we stopped thinking of each other as parts of a whole (which we *still* are). "NARFA Member" became this badge we bandied about like it was some kind of hot shit, and we got together in little pockets to append or remove the badge for certain people as we saw fit. The whole ostracization nonsense became a standard practice as a result.
And now, we've kind of settled down into a dysfunctional family. Though a popular view is that most of us are stagnating, we're not: Delphi is improving himself via his career and swanky new job; Silver's taking art courses at community college; Virginia is going to Scotland this year; Joey is learning the ins and outs of Mac OS; Prismo's learning new things and travelling as part of his job. The level of spinning our wheels in the mud isn't as high as we think...but because of our different priorities and the apparent inability to recognize the worth in values other than our own, we see only entropy.
The biggest bashers of NARFA within our own ranks are people who, for various reasons, see their perspective of things as the only correct one. The most patient and tolerant of us don't say anything not because we're afraid to, but because we realize that people go after different things in the course of their lives and really, YOU CAN'T FORCE SOMEONE TO ADOPT YOUR PRIORITIES. Your outlook is merely your own, and just because you're accomplished or famous doesn't make your ideals any more or less valid than anyone else's. There are a lot of people in NARFA, myself included, who need to get their heads out of their asses and realize that reality can be processed in more than one way.
The truth worth of a man is measured not in how he treats his friends, but in how he treats his "enemies".
Spent yesterday evening playing poker for M&Ms with a bunch of Odis' old friends. It was a really good time, actually, even though I never won a single hand. Every time I got something really good, there was always someone with something a *little* better. ("I've got 3 8s!" "Ohhh, that's good. I've got three 9's!" *sob*) Maybe this is a subtle kick to the nuts that I won't be very good at poker ever, and that I should probably not gamble.
For those shocked, amazed and/or appalled at yesterday's big 'revelation,' let me clarify: I would like to move to California (again, in or as close to Sunnyvale as possible) to be with
toob. That's worth potentially crashing and burning into the Pacific Ocean for. I'm not going to be *stupid* about it, however; that's what the 6 month time frame and the hunting *now* for potential roommate/living arrangements are for. I want to be as prepared as possible. I've bandied about the idea to members of NARFA for some time now, and honestly I'm surprised that people were so taken off-guard by it. Everything is *still* vague and tentative; it could be 6 months until I move, or a year, or whatever. Still, this is me actually looking into the possibility. Don't panic, and PLEASE no drama. I'm seriously considering my options.Speaking of NARFA, one or two bombs have gone off that might raise the drama quotient to sudsy levels. This might be the equivalent of John crying out in the wilderness (to continue the Biblical allusion), but please people, chill out for a bit. Think before you say or do anything, and for God's sake *think* about the feelings and attitudes of other people. If you truly believe in the community here and truly respect its individual members, please keep in mind that we're all just people and though we might not agree on certain fundamental things there's really nothing in the world worth being a complete asshat over. Though some people jump on any excuse they can find. :P
I think NARFA's greatest sin is really nothing more than the naivete in which it was formed. The earliest days (which I was present for) were filled with a heady, optimistic idealism: we would grow and learn as a community, and as a community we would present our combined knowledge towards the furry fandom as a whole. Simple enough concept, good intentions, enthusiasm from most of the members...what's not to like?
Over time we realized that different members of the group have different intentions, priorities and interests. And whenever you get members as ideologically diverse as ours, there's going to be some butting of heads. It's a simple fact that not everyone is going to get along because of a common interest, especially one as loose as 'anthropomorphic animals.' There are going to be personality conflicts, there's going to be disagreements, and yes, people will even do shitty things to each other on occasion. This is because, as much as we would like to hide or deny or change it, we're human beings.
In the wake of this group realization, that ideally NARFA won't function as a well-oiled machine of growth and altruism, we became intolerant. Yes, intolerant of each other's flaws and quirks and beliefs, but also intolerant to the idea that we can disagree and still share each other's space. The basic respect we shared for one another evaporated, and we stopped thinking of each other as parts of a whole (which we *still* are). "NARFA Member" became this badge we bandied about like it was some kind of hot shit, and we got together in little pockets to append or remove the badge for certain people as we saw fit. The whole ostracization nonsense became a standard practice as a result.
And now, we've kind of settled down into a dysfunctional family. Though a popular view is that most of us are stagnating, we're not: Delphi is improving himself via his career and swanky new job; Silver's taking art courses at community college; Virginia is going to Scotland this year; Joey is learning the ins and outs of Mac OS; Prismo's learning new things and travelling as part of his job. The level of spinning our wheels in the mud isn't as high as we think...but because of our different priorities and the apparent inability to recognize the worth in values other than our own, we see only entropy.
The biggest bashers of NARFA within our own ranks are people who, for various reasons, see their perspective of things as the only correct one. The most patient and tolerant of us don't say anything not because we're afraid to, but because we realize that people go after different things in the course of their lives and really, YOU CAN'T FORCE SOMEONE TO ADOPT YOUR PRIORITIES. Your outlook is merely your own, and just because you're accomplished or famous doesn't make your ideals any more or less valid than anyone else's. There are a lot of people in NARFA, myself included, who need to get their heads out of their asses and realize that reality can be processed in more than one way.
The truth worth of a man is measured not in how he treats his friends, but in how he treats his "enemies".
