A Girl Like That
Apr. 29th, 2005 07:42 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jakebe
Talked to my Mom yesterday, and strangely it sapped my will to do much of anything, really. I was hungry, but couldn't be bothered with eating...not even to walking to McDonald's. I could have fixed something, but I didn't feel much like moving or chewing or anything. You know, I bet talking to her every day might do wonders for my diet.
I love my mother dearly. But the entire situation is so...messed up. My sister has two children that she doesn't take care of very well. My mother has custody of the older one, for that very reason, and the six-month infant stays with her often. My mother is 72 years old. She walks with a cane and has diabetes. When she disciplines the toddler, her voice shakes and she sounds tired and hoarse afterwards. She's too old to be doing this. She's not in the condition to be dealing with a child of that age, physically *or* financially.
The whole situation is causing a lot of pain for everyone involved. The infant is left alone in a room because my mother has to take care of so much and *his* mother can't be fucked to look after him, I guess. I mean, right when kids need someone the most, someone to be a constant, positive influence, he gets this woman whom he sees sometimes and a much older one who yells and hobbles around a lot. What's that doing to his head?
My mother does her best, that's all she's ever done. But this is too much for her. I know what I should be doing, but I just can't bring myself to, mainly because I'm being selfish. I don't want to be trapped in that house, with those children, like she is. I know that's too big for me. But it's too big for her, and she never thought twice about it. That's why I love my mother so much. She's incredibly selfish in a lot of ways, but she's very selfless, too. More than anything, she's a creature who survives.
Sometimes it feels like I help so little with her.
There's a lot more to say, but nothing seems worth writing about at the moment except for that. I love Tube. :)
I love my mother dearly. But the entire situation is so...messed up. My sister has two children that she doesn't take care of very well. My mother has custody of the older one, for that very reason, and the six-month infant stays with her often. My mother is 72 years old. She walks with a cane and has diabetes. When she disciplines the toddler, her voice shakes and she sounds tired and hoarse afterwards. She's too old to be doing this. She's not in the condition to be dealing with a child of that age, physically *or* financially.
The whole situation is causing a lot of pain for everyone involved. The infant is left alone in a room because my mother has to take care of so much and *his* mother can't be fucked to look after him, I guess. I mean, right when kids need someone the most, someone to be a constant, positive influence, he gets this woman whom he sees sometimes and a much older one who yells and hobbles around a lot. What's that doing to his head?
My mother does her best, that's all she's ever done. But this is too much for her. I know what I should be doing, but I just can't bring myself to, mainly because I'm being selfish. I don't want to be trapped in that house, with those children, like she is. I know that's too big for me. But it's too big for her, and she never thought twice about it. That's why I love my mother so much. She's incredibly selfish in a lot of ways, but she's very selfless, too. More than anything, she's a creature who survives.
Sometimes it feels like I help so little with her.
There's a lot more to say, but nothing seems worth writing about at the moment except for that. I love Tube. :)
