Ebb

Jan. 31st, 2005 08:51 am
jakebe: (Default)
[personal profile] jakebe
Today I woke up more scared of things than I can remember being for a long time.

The glaciers are disappearing faster than anyone expected. Polar bears may go extinct in decades. The Oil Peak is going to happen.

I worry constantly about being the one thing that's holding someone back. I'm jealous. I don't want to lose this, but how can you hold onto something as fluid as emotion? The harder you squeeze onto something, the more of it runs between your fingers.

I'm just all out of sorts, I need a day to catch my breath, to stop, but I can't. I hate days like these. I can't shake the thought that I'm a bad person, that I'm undeserving. There are days when guilt is so overwhelming, I just don't know what to do with it.

This is just a bad day.

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