Day 75: But I'm Way Less Sad

On Monday I tested positive for COVID, ending a pretty nice 1260-day run without catching it. Both R. and K. had gotten it before but I managed to dodge it somehow -- I was beginning to think I was immune.

But eventually it caught up with me, and the timing isn't that great. It'd have been one thing if I caught it right after getting laid off, but this happened right when I was trying to get back on the ball with my studies. So far it hasn't been so bad. I had a wicked headache on Monday and there's a persistent cough that feels like it's settling into my chest which isn't great. I'll make sure I keep hydrated, I get plenty of rest, and that I'm quarantined until at least Saturday -- maybe even until next Thursday just to be absolutely safe. We'll have to see what the tests looks like when the day comes.

I'm feeling better today after being laid low on the 2nd and 3rd, so we'll see how things shake out from here.

Yesterday I interviewed for a temporary position at Stanford University. It's basically a student services representative, which suits me just fine. I'll be interacting with students in-person, through help chat, email, and help desk tickets -- 2-3 days a week in the office, the rest at home. The pay is still a step down from what I had been making, but it's a Stanford job which means steady work during business hours and everything. Once the year-long contract ends, I'll hopefully have a much better shot at permanent employment since I get to use their "internal" application portal.

I have to give a shout out to DJ+J here, who recommended that I not sleep on those contract positions as a way to get my foot in the door. I've been shot down for so many permanent positions already without so much as a "thanks but no" response that it was a genuine surprise to hear I was being considered. The hiring manager wanted to make sure I was aware of the limited nature of the job before moving forward; I get the feeling that the university has a little more trouble filling those positions.

Anyway, I think I hit it off well with the hiring manager. She asked me questions about my bonafides and I surprised myself by how easily I could come up with examples for what she wanted. I felt like I acquitted myself well with the live-chat test, and I think she was impressed with the questions I asked at the end. This solidifies the fact that I'm excellent in an interview; it's the resume and lack of impressive, measurable results that make it so hard for me to get in the door. That, and lack of education.

I was doubly-surprised to learn that I was immediately asked back for the group interview at the end of business, which I take to be a very good sign. When I asked about next steps, the hiring manager gave me the usual hedge by saying that she needed to finish the current interview round before setting up the next one. Knowing that the next round has been scheduled for this week tells me they're looking to fill the position fast, which makes sense. If I start now, I should be fully on-boarded by October -- ready to help during the admissions rush and able to stand on my own by the time mid-terms are rolling around. The best part? I'm sure the holidays will be nice and chill.

I'm thinking about a few things to ask the panel for the next phase, and most of them are risky questions. I'd really love to know what THEY think a fair compensation for this position would be, but I have to find the right way to broach the subject. The hiring range is anywhere from $65K - 90K, and while I could try to get top dollar for the year I'm working (and probably should), maybe it would be a better move to ask for a rate more in-line with the rest of the team so I stand out as little as possible. I think my goal for the year is to integrate myself into the team as much as possible so that maybe I'm not exceptional...but indispensable.

Either way, I'm a lot more excited for the possibility of being hired there than at TSS -- which would still be a pretty great gig, don't get me wrong. It's a permanent gig, for one, at a growing company with a lot of room for advancement. And, as a compliance outfit for various scientific labs, it does have a mission I could get behind. I'd be working with Tiger A. and Dragon A., and I'd be fully remote so no messy commute to deal with. However, the pay is a lot lower and it's more of a stretch for me. I'm hoping that the TSS hiring manager doesn't get back to me until at least after the panel interview; that way, I won't have a dilemma about keeping one offer on hold while I secretly try for a better one.

This is a silly thing, but something I wanted to note. We're binging Evil (the TV show) through this holiday and the main character has been having a rocky marriage through the series. Near the end of season 2 she and her husband have this ceremony where they write down the things they can't say to each other and burn them in a purification ritual. Then, they purge the issue and basically "renew" their commitment to each other. It felt like a wonderfully cathartic thing to do, and R. surprised me by recommending we do something like that.

We're not in a rocky place with our relationship, but it is changing. R. has been exercising the open part of it a lot more than before and I've been thinking seriously about how my asexuality has been something of a barrier between us. R. has made overtures about being more physically intimate, but he's also laid down some fair ground rules I hadn't really taken seriously. I think it's time to do that, but also interrogate why I've become so touch-averse and how to deal with that. It would be nice to be openly affectionate with folks, but I have to get past a few hangups of my own first.

Today is the day I try to get back to productivity, this time with an eye toward being gainfully employed by the end of the month.