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Day 49: A Man, A Plan, A Banana, Panama
Jun. 8th, 2023 03:05 pmOooh, a late one!
Yesterday was mostly spent writing and job-hunting, with a lunch at Armadillo William's. There was a little bit of procrastination in the morning, but otherwise a solid day of work. I applied to a number of Stanford positions and a few others that might pan out but I don't expect to hear back from. I get so much feedback about applying to as many positions as I can and trying to speak to as many people as possible, but I don't have the energy for it and I can't think of a way of doing it that doesn't feel desperate. So I do it on a smaller scale at places I'd really like to work.
Stanford has been getting the lion's share of my applications, partly because once I got through the pain of putting all my information in their system it's become pretty easy to do so. It's allowed me to zero in on my preferred template cover letter, which in turn means I'm a bit faster applying elsewhere too.
The shiny optimism of the early hunt is gone and now I'm just doing what I can do without the expectation that something will pan out immediately. It's a much-longer process getting hired by a more stable institution, and they can afford to be a bit pickier. I'm hoping my experience on the job will be enough for folks to overlook the lack of a college education, but that's a slim hope. It's more likely I'll have to conquer through persistence, constantly adding my name to the pile for anything that comes up. One has to lead to an interview, right?
I'm not wholly dependent on Stanford to be my white knight, though. There are a number of solid health-care outfits that need clerks, administrators, and the like. The issue there is my age -- there's almost certainly someone younger than me but with more relevant experience for any position I'd be a fit for. Unless I luck into a position where my asking salary is a steal for them, I'm not terribly optimistic.
I'll find something, I'm sure. I just don't know when, and I'm fairly sure it'll be for less than I was making before.
Writing feels steadier. It was tough getting started yesterday (hence the morning's procrastination) but once I got started it wasn't so bad. The words were slow, but steady; 850 toward next week's Patreon episode.
I also put in some time with Duo. I'm starting to get tripped up with French vocabulary, which is a sign I should be doing more studying. I have been getting more confident with my pronunciation, though I'd be pretty shy about speaking actual French to a native. Still, it's progress -- and not a bad place to be after a nearly 90-day streak.
We played Curse of Strahd last night, which continues to be fun. We're at the Death House now, exploring it floor by floor on our way up to the attic. K. is really putting in the work as a GM; the atmosphere is thick with dread and he's so efficient at jolting you with horrific images. And, for the most part, we've all come to play, wholly throwing ourselves into the Gothic feel. On top of that, K. has been clever about tying module beats to character backstory, so it feels intensely personal.
One player is...kind of grating against the vibe of the table, and I think I've let my empathy dip a bit too low for him. What looked to be a random bad decision on his part actually turned out to be one of those module-backstory connections, but it was hard to shake the intense annoyance at that bad decision. It felt like a pure-id move, where logic or character considerations were thrown aside just to push the red button. And I mean, I'm the last person to be annoyed about that, but...it's hard to find common ground with someone you feel just doesn't consider your position at all.
That was a check for a few different reasons. One, maybe the behavior caused such a big emotional reaction in me because it's one I'm prone to -- and am only just realizing how damaging it can be to my relationships. Two, this player is just who he is, and I made the decision that I could accept him for that a bit ago. It's going to take more work than I thought to do that, but it's worth it.
On to the next thing for today. :)
Yesterday was mostly spent writing and job-hunting, with a lunch at Armadillo William's. There was a little bit of procrastination in the morning, but otherwise a solid day of work. I applied to a number of Stanford positions and a few others that might pan out but I don't expect to hear back from. I get so much feedback about applying to as many positions as I can and trying to speak to as many people as possible, but I don't have the energy for it and I can't think of a way of doing it that doesn't feel desperate. So I do it on a smaller scale at places I'd really like to work.
Stanford has been getting the lion's share of my applications, partly because once I got through the pain of putting all my information in their system it's become pretty easy to do so. It's allowed me to zero in on my preferred template cover letter, which in turn means I'm a bit faster applying elsewhere too.
The shiny optimism of the early hunt is gone and now I'm just doing what I can do without the expectation that something will pan out immediately. It's a much-longer process getting hired by a more stable institution, and they can afford to be a bit pickier. I'm hoping my experience on the job will be enough for folks to overlook the lack of a college education, but that's a slim hope. It's more likely I'll have to conquer through persistence, constantly adding my name to the pile for anything that comes up. One has to lead to an interview, right?
I'm not wholly dependent on Stanford to be my white knight, though. There are a number of solid health-care outfits that need clerks, administrators, and the like. The issue there is my age -- there's almost certainly someone younger than me but with more relevant experience for any position I'd be a fit for. Unless I luck into a position where my asking salary is a steal for them, I'm not terribly optimistic.
I'll find something, I'm sure. I just don't know when, and I'm fairly sure it'll be for less than I was making before.
Writing feels steadier. It was tough getting started yesterday (hence the morning's procrastination) but once I got started it wasn't so bad. The words were slow, but steady; 850 toward next week's Patreon episode.
I also put in some time with Duo. I'm starting to get tripped up with French vocabulary, which is a sign I should be doing more studying. I have been getting more confident with my pronunciation, though I'd be pretty shy about speaking actual French to a native. Still, it's progress -- and not a bad place to be after a nearly 90-day streak.
We played Curse of Strahd last night, which continues to be fun. We're at the Death House now, exploring it floor by floor on our way up to the attic. K. is really putting in the work as a GM; the atmosphere is thick with dread and he's so efficient at jolting you with horrific images. And, for the most part, we've all come to play, wholly throwing ourselves into the Gothic feel. On top of that, K. has been clever about tying module beats to character backstory, so it feels intensely personal.
One player is...kind of grating against the vibe of the table, and I think I've let my empathy dip a bit too low for him. What looked to be a random bad decision on his part actually turned out to be one of those module-backstory connections, but it was hard to shake the intense annoyance at that bad decision. It felt like a pure-id move, where logic or character considerations were thrown aside just to push the red button. And I mean, I'm the last person to be annoyed about that, but...it's hard to find common ground with someone you feel just doesn't consider your position at all.
That was a check for a few different reasons. One, maybe the behavior caused such a big emotional reaction in me because it's one I'm prone to -- and am only just realizing how damaging it can be to my relationships. Two, this player is just who he is, and I made the decision that I could accept him for that a bit ago. It's going to take more work than I thought to do that, but it's worth it.
On to the next thing for today. :)
