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The Weather
Jul. 25th, 2019 11:04 am
For some reason it just sunk in yesterday that there's a real possibility of being unemployed for an extended period of time. I had been in an unconscious denial for a little bit, thinking that this is a temporary state of affairs or that I needed to find a job as soon as possible. But so much about that is not up to me. I can keep working on my resume to make it as eye-catching as possible, work on my cover letter skills, brush up on the best way to interview, and learn as many marketable skills as I can, but ultimately that's simply giving myself the best shot for any opportunities that come my way. There are a lot of other things outside of my control that need to fall just right for me to actually clinch the position.
So I need to take stock of my situation with the understanding it's indefinite. I'll need to be patient and persistent, but I also can't expect things to turn around any time soon. What can I do to make the most of my time while I have so much of it to spare?
First, I'd like to take a step back and take stock of who I am and who I want to be. What habits could I be building to get there?
I've spent so much time trying to do the things that are expected of me, or things to make others happy, that I actually haven't had time to think about what I would like to do. For the first time in a long time, I can slow down and be deliberate about what's in my life. I've been wanting to pay more attention to my meditation practice and my writing. Now's the time to dive into that -- I can work on my Pathfinder game and build that towards its conclusion; I can do the needed pre-writing for my Patreon serial; I can write the superhero story that's been on the backburner for who knows how long. I can read all of the books that have just been sitting on my shelf! I can start to clean the burrow and clear out the stuff that's just taking up space. I can dive into eating well on a budget. I can learn the technical skills I've always been wanting to study.
At the same time, I think that regimenting my activities and trying to follow a strict schedule hasn't worked well for me. It might be better to have a to-do list from day to day and learn my own rhythm and timing. Push myself, remain mindful, but also recognize that I have time and space to fully inhabit any activity I choose to do. I can focus on making sure my meditation practice is carried with me throughout the day. When I work to keep my awareness on the task at hand, everything becomes meditation. Washing the dishes is meditation. Writing this journal is meditation. Writing porn is meditation.
The prospect of that excites me, which tells me that at least this framework is a good place to start. I'd also like to prioritize exercise so that I'm being active for at least thirty minutes every day. The plan for next month, at least, is to alternate core exercises, elliptical, and running twice a week each, with Saturday being a rest day. I ran three miles today, so tomorrow I'll try a quick bodyweight routine designed to strengthen my core and arms. Planks, wall sits, push-ups, crunches, that kind of thing. My stomach is very flabby and I can feel how weak my lower back is, which affects my posture something fierce. I want to make sure that's handled so I can work on flexibility a bit later.
Cooking is a *bit* simpler -- there's Blue Apron three nights a week so I just need to worry about making dinner the other three or four nights a week. I have a few different recipe books to pull from for inspiration, but Ryan is a bit of a tricky beast as far as that goes. Whole swaths of cuisine styles are off-limits, so no Indian, stir-fry dishes, most Mexican, anything with a lot of carbs, etc. It'll take some significant trial and error to learn what works and what doesn't, but I'm also strangely looking forward to the opportunity to find what's cheapest or in-season and building a menu on that. It should be fun!
Received a few rejection emails today for a couple of positions, including one that I thought would be a wonderful freelance opportunity. I'm thinking about trying out a website called "Upwork", which works as some kind of freelancer portal. I could try my hand at being a virtual assistant, working in data entry, or developing a good content writer portfolio. There's...a lot of danger in trying to build a career there, but I'd like to give it a shot. Maybe it's time to actually see if I can make it as a writer for some kind of living.
Today I'll be working on the Patreon, writing for my next Pathfinder session, and taking care of the kitchen and living room in the burrow. I'm not sure yet what I'll do for dinner, but I'm sure I can come up with something. :)
So I need to take stock of my situation with the understanding it's indefinite. I'll need to be patient and persistent, but I also can't expect things to turn around any time soon. What can I do to make the most of my time while I have so much of it to spare?
First, I'd like to take a step back and take stock of who I am and who I want to be. What habits could I be building to get there?
I've spent so much time trying to do the things that are expected of me, or things to make others happy, that I actually haven't had time to think about what I would like to do. For the first time in a long time, I can slow down and be deliberate about what's in my life. I've been wanting to pay more attention to my meditation practice and my writing. Now's the time to dive into that -- I can work on my Pathfinder game and build that towards its conclusion; I can do the needed pre-writing for my Patreon serial; I can write the superhero story that's been on the backburner for who knows how long. I can read all of the books that have just been sitting on my shelf! I can start to clean the burrow and clear out the stuff that's just taking up space. I can dive into eating well on a budget. I can learn the technical skills I've always been wanting to study.
At the same time, I think that regimenting my activities and trying to follow a strict schedule hasn't worked well for me. It might be better to have a to-do list from day to day and learn my own rhythm and timing. Push myself, remain mindful, but also recognize that I have time and space to fully inhabit any activity I choose to do. I can focus on making sure my meditation practice is carried with me throughout the day. When I work to keep my awareness on the task at hand, everything becomes meditation. Washing the dishes is meditation. Writing this journal is meditation. Writing porn is meditation.
The prospect of that excites me, which tells me that at least this framework is a good place to start. I'd also like to prioritize exercise so that I'm being active for at least thirty minutes every day. The plan for next month, at least, is to alternate core exercises, elliptical, and running twice a week each, with Saturday being a rest day. I ran three miles today, so tomorrow I'll try a quick bodyweight routine designed to strengthen my core and arms. Planks, wall sits, push-ups, crunches, that kind of thing. My stomach is very flabby and I can feel how weak my lower back is, which affects my posture something fierce. I want to make sure that's handled so I can work on flexibility a bit later.
Cooking is a *bit* simpler -- there's Blue Apron three nights a week so I just need to worry about making dinner the other three or four nights a week. I have a few different recipe books to pull from for inspiration, but Ryan is a bit of a tricky beast as far as that goes. Whole swaths of cuisine styles are off-limits, so no Indian, stir-fry dishes, most Mexican, anything with a lot of carbs, etc. It'll take some significant trial and error to learn what works and what doesn't, but I'm also strangely looking forward to the opportunity to find what's cheapest or in-season and building a menu on that. It should be fun!
Received a few rejection emails today for a couple of positions, including one that I thought would be a wonderful freelance opportunity. I'm thinking about trying out a website called "Upwork", which works as some kind of freelancer portal. I could try my hand at being a virtual assistant, working in data entry, or developing a good content writer portfolio. There's...a lot of danger in trying to build a career there, but I'd like to give it a shot. Maybe it's time to actually see if I can make it as a writer for some kind of living.
Today I'll be working on the Patreon, writing for my next Pathfinder session, and taking care of the kitchen and living room in the burrow. I'm not sure yet what I'll do for dinner, but I'm sure I can come up with something. :)
