Hanlon's Razor

I've been watching this guy for a little while now; he's very blue politically, but he presents himself quite reasonably and thoughtfully. He really should be getting a lot more attention than he is. If you're frustrated that Michael Moore and Al Franken are the biggest voices the left has got in the media, maybe you should check this guy out.

Here's a good example of his stuff: http://syndicated.livejournal.com/hanlonsrazor/292928.html

A Chain

I'm sneaking up on 28 years old already. Wow.

Anyway, there was a period of time (pretty much from the time I found the furry fandom way back in 1996 to...oh, maybe 2002) where I was nothing less than a complete depressoid douche-bag online. Granted, in my defense, I was going through some pretty heavy stuff back then. I won't go into it all, but...I typed it out and it's an awful, awful *lot*. Sometimes when I look back at that period of time I'm amazed that I lived through it. When I look back at my life I realize how hard I rock and I can probably survive anything. :)

But the point is this: for about five or six years, I was completely depressed and suicidal. I didn't think my life would (or could) get any better, and any suggestion someone had would be rebuffed with a reason why it wouldn't work. I would come on, night after night, seeking companionship, being manipulative when I wouldn't get it, and bringing everyone down with my constant, unrelenting depression when I did. I was a complete mess.

This was when I rose up against the Giant's Club "clique." This is when I trolled people for netsex over everything else. This is when I did a *lot* of things I'm not proud of, and I still carry a lot of regret for it to this day.

Still, there were people who took me through the worst of that, who believed in me and hung in there with me when I was at my most maddeningly self-destructive and irrational. Without these people, I don't know where I would have been. It's only now, some years later, when I'm well beyond the other side, that I realize what immense compassion, patience and understanding that took. I rock, it's true, but these people, god...words fail me. They have no idea how much appreciation I have for them. They're my personal bodhisattvas.

There are a lot of people in really bad places right now, and things might be getting worse for a lot of people. I get an earful from a few folks consistently, and I try to remember how it must have been for these guys who had to listen to me do the same things. It's an inspiration to be just as optimistic, patient, and compassionate with these folks as others have been to me. Hopefully, one day, when they're through the worst of it, I can look back and know I've been almost as good a friend to them as mine have been to me. Likely not, but I'm working on it and that's my goal.

I'm so grateful for the people in my life, and I hope that I can be one of the people that folks are grateful for someday.