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Glass Half-Shattered
Feb. 13th, 2003 10:09 am
hey there, all...
I think people who classify me as an optimist might be a bit mistaken. I have this deeply-rooted tendency to play worst-case scenarios in my head over and over again until I work myself up into a good, frothy depression. The Changeling game capped off the week poorly, and I've been in a funk ever since.
It's not so much the Changeling game I've been stewing over; it's just about everything. Everything has this slightly pale aura of 'not right' about it, and I haven't been able to shift my perception out of that odd, nagging feeling that I could be doing something better. This is when nihilism likes to sneak up behind me and take hold: "Why bother? Nothing really matters in the cosmic scheme of things anyway."
Why do we make big deals out of so many minor little things? Why do we put ourselves through so much stress about things that just don't mean anything when you really stop to think about it? Why do we get so hung up on things? When I say 'we', I really mean I, but I like to be inclusive.
Conditioning yourself to be mellow but not despondent is a very high-strung tight-wire act. It's incredibly easy to despair when you see everything that's wrong with the world, with *your* world, that keeping your head and faith in the goodness of things just gets lost under all the crap. Good things are easy to miss.
I've been worried about Boomer Express quite a bit. I don't think I really fit with what Tyrnn is trying to do for the strip, and he'd be better served by another writer. This is no way downing the abilities of either of us; I'm just not sure we match as well as we should. I would really like to see the strip flourish and thrive, and I was hoping that we would gel a bit more but I just don't know. I'm pretty dialogue-heavy, and the story I want to tell just keeps wanting to complexify itself; I have to constantly remember to keep it simple.
At the very least, it's good practice, but there's this voice in my head that says I'm holding him back. Maybe he knows this, and he's already found another writer. I don't know.
Got a lot of work done on a short story I've been trying to write for ages, so that's good, right? I'm trying to get it finished by this weekend, then I'll go over and edit it. It's not very good, either, but it's something. Like I said, practice.
I think people who classify me as an optimist might be a bit mistaken. I have this deeply-rooted tendency to play worst-case scenarios in my head over and over again until I work myself up into a good, frothy depression. The Changeling game capped off the week poorly, and I've been in a funk ever since.
It's not so much the Changeling game I've been stewing over; it's just about everything. Everything has this slightly pale aura of 'not right' about it, and I haven't been able to shift my perception out of that odd, nagging feeling that I could be doing something better. This is when nihilism likes to sneak up behind me and take hold: "Why bother? Nothing really matters in the cosmic scheme of things anyway."
Why do we make big deals out of so many minor little things? Why do we put ourselves through so much stress about things that just don't mean anything when you really stop to think about it? Why do we get so hung up on things? When I say 'we', I really mean I, but I like to be inclusive.
Conditioning yourself to be mellow but not despondent is a very high-strung tight-wire act. It's incredibly easy to despair when you see everything that's wrong with the world, with *your* world, that keeping your head and faith in the goodness of things just gets lost under all the crap. Good things are easy to miss.
I've been worried about Boomer Express quite a bit. I don't think I really fit with what Tyrnn is trying to do for the strip, and he'd be better served by another writer. This is no way downing the abilities of either of us; I'm just not sure we match as well as we should. I would really like to see the strip flourish and thrive, and I was hoping that we would gel a bit more but I just don't know. I'm pretty dialogue-heavy, and the story I want to tell just keeps wanting to complexify itself; I have to constantly remember to keep it simple.
At the very least, it's good practice, but there's this voice in my head that says I'm holding him back. Maybe he knows this, and he's already found another writer. I don't know.
Got a lot of work done on a short story I've been trying to write for ages, so that's good, right? I'm trying to get it finished by this weekend, then I'll go over and edit it. It's not very good, either, but it's something. Like I said, practice.
