Trying to pinpoint Ohio's feelings and motivations might lead to a nigh infinite series of transgressions. 😅
That said, I feel like I can sympathize greatly. When I lost my mother, it was in a very traumatic way and some of those I considered closest to me did not react at all how I anticipated. Due to the circumstances behind my mother's slow death, I experienced complex grief over the course of three years--plenty of time to transfer a lot of the frustration I had with these "friends" onto most accquaintances. And while I know my feelings were less hostile and more nihlistic, I get it.
It's a shame he never got the help he needed to work past all that animosity. It wasn't your responsibility, but you tried. Yet things continued heating to a simmering acrimony for him. And who knows why precisely? I doubt even he knows with total certainty.
I don't know the circumstances of his mother's death, but it sounds like you were dealing with a complex grieving process drawn out over the course of 2+ years between your sister and your mother. In a way, this friendship dying is yet another drawn out grieving process. There's no body. Just a bunch of unanswered questions that may very well never be answered with the certainty you want.
One book that's really helped me through what has been an adulthood of non-stop grief that never ends, just intesnifies is:
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2025-09-18 01:10 am (UTC)Trying to pinpoint Ohio's feelings and motivations might lead to a nigh infinite series of transgressions. 😅
That said, I feel like I can sympathize greatly. When I lost my mother, it was in a very traumatic way and some of those I considered closest to me did not react at all how I anticipated. Due to the circumstances behind my mother's slow death, I experienced complex grief over the course of three years--plenty of time to transfer a lot of the frustration I had with these "friends" onto most accquaintances. And while I know my feelings were less hostile and more nihlistic, I get it.
It's a shame he never got the help he needed to work past all that animosity. It wasn't your responsibility, but you tried. Yet things continued heating to a simmering acrimony for him. And who knows why precisely? I doubt even he knows with total certainty.
I don't know the circumstances of his mother's death, but it sounds like you were dealing with a complex grieving process drawn out over the course of 2+ years between your sister and your mother. In a way, this friendship dying is yet another drawn out grieving process. There's no body. Just a bunch of unanswered questions that may very well never be answered with the certainty you want.
One book that's really helped me through what has been an adulthood of non-stop grief that never ends, just intesnifies is:
The Grief Recovery Handbook: A Program for Moving Beyond Death, Divorce, and Other Devastating Losses
It's like a life-jacket that keeps you afloat in the choppy waters of grief. Long enough to keep your cool (and keep your head above the waves).