Day 70: My Grandma's Boyfriend
Jun. 29th, 2023 09:20 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jakebeI was fairly productive yesterday! I set up my new month in the Bullet Journal (though I'm not all the way done), cleaned up my email, filed my unemployment claim for the last two weeks, applied to three new positions, walked a few miles, cooked lunch AND dinner, folded clothes, restocked our Coke Zero supply, and shaved my head. Not bad for a day's work, I must say.
Shaving my head was less fraught than the last two times. Picking up a new razor has been a revelation; it really underscores how important it is to work with sharp blades. I had picked up a lot of bad habits with my previous razor, so it's taking some time to unlearn them. While I still nicked myself in several places I didn't tear out huge gashes in my head so that's progress. I also think using the pre-shave oil helps a LOT; it keeps the surface of my head smooth so the razor doesn't "catch" on bumps and irregularities. It's definitely a learning curve trying to shave the crown and back of my head, though. Because the curves and angles are so...weird, it's hard to figure out the best way to stroke for the closest shave.
I'd like to get back to building a solid night-time routine. Brushing and flossing, washing my face, applying the facial gel, making sure my CPAP machine is wiped clean and filled with distilled water. The best part about that is it forces me to look away from screens for at least 15 minutes. I'll probably ruin that when I read in bed, but maybe I don't have to. Maybe it's enough to just go to bed, chat with R., and let unconsciousness take me.
It's difficult, but I'm trying not to be too impatient about the results of my last interview. I think it went pretty well overall, and the delay is just the hiring manager being slow about it. The 4th of July holiday keeps sneaking up on me, and it makes sense that I wouldn't hear anything until after folks came back from it. No one wants to rush all the paperwork for a hire who won't start until after the holiday, right? I had been hoping that I would be hired with a start date for the Monday after July 4th week. That way I can go into the holiday secure in my gainful employment! But the longer the week drags on, the more it feels like that's not meant to be.
In the meantime, I really ought to straighten out my job hunting tracker so I'm more aware of where my applications are and how they're doing. I switched out halfway through to a hosted subscription service since it was only $10/month and there's a lot of places to add notes and details. I have to admit I've fallen off the job hunt this month as part of the general productivity collapse, through I've still managed to apply to at least 5 jobs each week. Just received my 12th rejection -- at least, since I've been keeping score on the new tracker -- and I know there are likely more. Most places never get back to you when they close the position, and I'm sure there were barely-noticed rejection emails that I just threw out when they hit my inbox.
But it's worth it to be more organized about finding work. Treating it as a project that demands time and attention to detail is, in fact, a great way to practice for whatever position I end up with. Being quick, efficient, and detailed is always a solid way to excel at your job.
July is shaping up to be a somewhat busy month. There's the usual spate of games, a few online seminars from CA unemployment, and we'll likely fill non-gaming weekends with other social engagements. Honestly, it's a good thing to be out there meeting people. One of the things I've taken from Pride is how much I've come to like being alone and in my own house. But there's a whole big world out there with a ton of interesting people to connect with! Learning how to put my best foot forward with people through personal grooming, practicing my social skills, and being more mindful of the people I'm connected to has been a wonderful way for me to rediscover myself a little. It *is* tiring, but I'm really happy to be engaging more with the world around me.
As much as I love the quiet, contemplative life, being a part of a community is a vital part of self-improvement. You learn how to exist as a positive influence for others, and it forces you to think about the way you make others feel. Having to deal with constant rejection as I look for work, and navigating the awkward parts of getting to know a new friend, has ultimately helped me to be more resilient in other ways. I don't take it quite so personally when friends brush off something I've said; it's easier for me to see their side of the interaction, and I realize how much grace they give me for the low price of an annoyed expression. And I've taken feedback from the past to heart.
I still have to find a balance, a way to retreat to my fortress of solitude without feeling guilty about it. A lot will depend on the job, I think. If I'm able to work from home in relative solitude, it gives me a lot more emotional space for socializing elsewhere.
Shaving my head was less fraught than the last two times. Picking up a new razor has been a revelation; it really underscores how important it is to work with sharp blades. I had picked up a lot of bad habits with my previous razor, so it's taking some time to unlearn them. While I still nicked myself in several places I didn't tear out huge gashes in my head so that's progress. I also think using the pre-shave oil helps a LOT; it keeps the surface of my head smooth so the razor doesn't "catch" on bumps and irregularities. It's definitely a learning curve trying to shave the crown and back of my head, though. Because the curves and angles are so...weird, it's hard to figure out the best way to stroke for the closest shave.
I'd like to get back to building a solid night-time routine. Brushing and flossing, washing my face, applying the facial gel, making sure my CPAP machine is wiped clean and filled with distilled water. The best part about that is it forces me to look away from screens for at least 15 minutes. I'll probably ruin that when I read in bed, but maybe I don't have to. Maybe it's enough to just go to bed, chat with R., and let unconsciousness take me.
It's difficult, but I'm trying not to be too impatient about the results of my last interview. I think it went pretty well overall, and the delay is just the hiring manager being slow about it. The 4th of July holiday keeps sneaking up on me, and it makes sense that I wouldn't hear anything until after folks came back from it. No one wants to rush all the paperwork for a hire who won't start until after the holiday, right? I had been hoping that I would be hired with a start date for the Monday after July 4th week. That way I can go into the holiday secure in my gainful employment! But the longer the week drags on, the more it feels like that's not meant to be.
In the meantime, I really ought to straighten out my job hunting tracker so I'm more aware of where my applications are and how they're doing. I switched out halfway through to a hosted subscription service since it was only $10/month and there's a lot of places to add notes and details. I have to admit I've fallen off the job hunt this month as part of the general productivity collapse, through I've still managed to apply to at least 5 jobs each week. Just received my 12th rejection -- at least, since I've been keeping score on the new tracker -- and I know there are likely more. Most places never get back to you when they close the position, and I'm sure there were barely-noticed rejection emails that I just threw out when they hit my inbox.
But it's worth it to be more organized about finding work. Treating it as a project that demands time and attention to detail is, in fact, a great way to practice for whatever position I end up with. Being quick, efficient, and detailed is always a solid way to excel at your job.
July is shaping up to be a somewhat busy month. There's the usual spate of games, a few online seminars from CA unemployment, and we'll likely fill non-gaming weekends with other social engagements. Honestly, it's a good thing to be out there meeting people. One of the things I've taken from Pride is how much I've come to like being alone and in my own house. But there's a whole big world out there with a ton of interesting people to connect with! Learning how to put my best foot forward with people through personal grooming, practicing my social skills, and being more mindful of the people I'm connected to has been a wonderful way for me to rediscover myself a little. It *is* tiring, but I'm really happy to be engaging more with the world around me.
As much as I love the quiet, contemplative life, being a part of a community is a vital part of self-improvement. You learn how to exist as a positive influence for others, and it forces you to think about the way you make others feel. Having to deal with constant rejection as I look for work, and navigating the awkward parts of getting to know a new friend, has ultimately helped me to be more resilient in other ways. I don't take it quite so personally when friends brush off something I've said; it's easier for me to see their side of the interaction, and I realize how much grace they give me for the low price of an annoyed expression. And I've taken feedback from the past to heart.
I still have to find a balance, a way to retreat to my fortress of solitude without feeling guilty about it. A lot will depend on the job, I think. If I'm able to work from home in relative solitude, it gives me a lot more emotional space for socializing elsewhere.
