Done With the Leaves, Return to the Trunk
Nov. 30th, 2006 10:38 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jakebe
I've had a day or two to calm down and think about the situation, and as usual it's not as bad as I've made it out to be. Don't get me wrong; I'm still as poor as a churchmouse. But perhaps a little less than helpless.
Thank you all for the compliments (I wasn't fishing I swear) and solid advice; I have to sit down and think about where I want to go, what I want to do. The truth of the matter is, when I think about what I would like my profession to be it kind of jumps all over the place. I wouldn't mind being a professional oral storyteller, going around to festivals and libraries to tell fables and folktales to families and children. It satisfies the 'working with words' aspect as well as helping people to enjoy themselves. I'm a firm believer in the power of myth to help people understand and appreciate their world a bit better, and even more importantly to look at it with the proper sense of wonder for even its most vulgar aspects. I also get to perform, which is another itch I've been meaning to scratch.
I'd also consider being a veterinary assistant, or a priest. My main worry about any profession in which I'd get to help people is...the system and people I'd be surrounded by. I could try for perhaps being a nurse or counselor or social worker, all of which are very noble callings, but the idea of being surrounded by a system that overworks you and doesn't give you the freedom or time or ability to be compassionate and focused on the people you're serving really bugs me. I'd hate for my calling to turn into something I'd be jaded about because I couldn't really affect the changes in people's lives I'd be wanting to make. It's just not worth it if I'd be doing no one any good *and* come to despise or resent the people I'm supposed to be helping.
It all comes down to service. I want nothing less than to be able to change people's attitudes. What I've always admired about good writing is the ability to change someone's mind at the same time as going down deeper, past the place where thoughts are able to penetrate, and completely tweaking someone's view of the world. Great writing never just makes you look at something differently, it makes you *feel* different. You become a changed person. I've felt words flick that switch in me before, through Bradbury and Beagle, through Hesse and Dostoevsky. Even the simplest stories, the most primitive myths, make you feel more connected to the world around you, open and receptive to any lessons that you wouldn't have experienced otherwise because you wouldn't have known how to look. I read people's writing that makes me feel expansive and open and ready to live and I think to myself, That's it. That's what I want to be doing with my life.
But it's not necessarily something that you can be paid for. Even the idea of writing creative non-fiction, or essays, or reviewing, or...anything that even remotely lets me write for a living I have no idea where to begin. Like I said, I just don't have any experience or training; the only advantage I would have over someone is enthusiasm...which looks completely lame on a resume. I'm fairly certain I'd make a much better impression over an interview, but my lack of an impressive resume is going to screw me every time. This is especially ironic since resumes are so very text-based.
My ideal situation, I suppose, is being in a job that lets me expose people to wonder as a matter of course, but pays well enough that I can live comfortably. Again, I don't want to be rich, but...I want to be able to play for clothes and health issues and the occasional trip without it being a finance-wrecking endeavor. Ultimately I want to dedicate my life to service of some sort, but service that's outside of the box, with the freedom to see everyone individually.
Right now, what I would like to do is get myself more into a writer's head space. All of those 'how-to' books tell you to write every day, and while I'm writing a good deal more than I ever have before, I'm still falling short of that mark. Also, writing just for the sake of writing is something I haven't been doing. That's mostly because I'm...always afraid of what I'll say if I just let the stuff in my head come up without censorship. This comes from a deep-rooted fear of insanity. Sure, there's a sort of romantic view of the off-kilter writer who gives in to his passions and eccentricities, but how many people want to deal with that on a day-to-day basis. I have this vague awareness that I'm...bent, let's say, and letting my subconscious onto paper would give me a good idea of how much. While this does have its benefits, I'm sure, it's also a scary thing to consider. What are the unknown issues that I haven't dealt with, that still guide my behavior? How many boxes have I tucked away and forgotten about, hoping I'd never have to open them? How messy do I get?
As afraid as I am about this, it's something I realize I probably have to do. Without trying to sound too New Age, quartz-holding, tree-hugging hippie about it, there's probably a lot of darkness and fear in myself I'll need to understand if I can ever hope to have a handle on the magic I'd like to wield ultimately. I'm going to have to earn the ability of true linguistic alchemy.
While I'm inching ever-so-slowly to a good personal headspace, it wouldn't be a bad idea to start learning the tools of the trade as well. As much as I'm awed by good storytelling, I have no idea what it entails. I have a rough but solid idea of how a story is supposed to be arced; the introduction, complication, climax, denouement, etc. and so forth, but if you asked me to apply that template to most stories I'd probably not do as well as I'd like to believe. So...are there any good 'these are the mechanics of storytelling' books out there? I know you really don't want to be tied down thinking of a formula when you write, but I'd like to know the tested formats that are out there.
Finally, I've all but determined I certainly need a better job. Bookbuyers is good and everything, but it's honestly not very fulfilling and the pay's just awful. I think most people there take side jobs to supplement their income, and I don't think I could do that unless there was something that allowed me to work at home. Besides, I'd like to go back to college at some point (never mind the fact I wouldn't get my degree until 30) and going to school full-time plus working full-time-plus is not my idea of a good time.
What job could i get though? Working for San Jose State would be the ideal, but many of their positions require bachelor's degrees, or proficiency and/or experience that I don't have. Plus, their hiring practices leave a bad taste in my mouth. If I could just get in for an interview, I'm sure I'd have a much better shot, but again...my resume is what needs to be strong enough to get me to be seen.
What I'll be doing this month, besides various writing-related things, is trying to put together a resume that looks halfway decent, and learning the fine art of writing a cover letter. Come the new year, I'll be pimping myself to SJSU and whatever other place I can find that aligns itself a bit more closely with what I'd like to do. If anyone has their ear to the ground about job opportunities, I'd appreciate them...or even good places to search. Right now all I can think of is Craig's List.
I think I'm going to turn![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
writerrabbit into a proper writing journal, instead of a repository for dumping stuff. I'd like to talk through my process a bit, even at the risk of giving away the fire.
So much to do, so much to do... :)
Thank you all for the compliments (I wasn't fishing I swear) and solid advice; I have to sit down and think about where I want to go, what I want to do. The truth of the matter is, when I think about what I would like my profession to be it kind of jumps all over the place. I wouldn't mind being a professional oral storyteller, going around to festivals and libraries to tell fables and folktales to families and children. It satisfies the 'working with words' aspect as well as helping people to enjoy themselves. I'm a firm believer in the power of myth to help people understand and appreciate their world a bit better, and even more importantly to look at it with the proper sense of wonder for even its most vulgar aspects. I also get to perform, which is another itch I've been meaning to scratch.
I'd also consider being a veterinary assistant, or a priest. My main worry about any profession in which I'd get to help people is...the system and people I'd be surrounded by. I could try for perhaps being a nurse or counselor or social worker, all of which are very noble callings, but the idea of being surrounded by a system that overworks you and doesn't give you the freedom or time or ability to be compassionate and focused on the people you're serving really bugs me. I'd hate for my calling to turn into something I'd be jaded about because I couldn't really affect the changes in people's lives I'd be wanting to make. It's just not worth it if I'd be doing no one any good *and* come to despise or resent the people I'm supposed to be helping.
It all comes down to service. I want nothing less than to be able to change people's attitudes. What I've always admired about good writing is the ability to change someone's mind at the same time as going down deeper, past the place where thoughts are able to penetrate, and completely tweaking someone's view of the world. Great writing never just makes you look at something differently, it makes you *feel* different. You become a changed person. I've felt words flick that switch in me before, through Bradbury and Beagle, through Hesse and Dostoevsky. Even the simplest stories, the most primitive myths, make you feel more connected to the world around you, open and receptive to any lessons that you wouldn't have experienced otherwise because you wouldn't have known how to look. I read people's writing that makes me feel expansive and open and ready to live and I think to myself, That's it. That's what I want to be doing with my life.
But it's not necessarily something that you can be paid for. Even the idea of writing creative non-fiction, or essays, or reviewing, or...anything that even remotely lets me write for a living I have no idea where to begin. Like I said, I just don't have any experience or training; the only advantage I would have over someone is enthusiasm...which looks completely lame on a resume. I'm fairly certain I'd make a much better impression over an interview, but my lack of an impressive resume is going to screw me every time. This is especially ironic since resumes are so very text-based.
My ideal situation, I suppose, is being in a job that lets me expose people to wonder as a matter of course, but pays well enough that I can live comfortably. Again, I don't want to be rich, but...I want to be able to play for clothes and health issues and the occasional trip without it being a finance-wrecking endeavor. Ultimately I want to dedicate my life to service of some sort, but service that's outside of the box, with the freedom to see everyone individually.
Right now, what I would like to do is get myself more into a writer's head space. All of those 'how-to' books tell you to write every day, and while I'm writing a good deal more than I ever have before, I'm still falling short of that mark. Also, writing just for the sake of writing is something I haven't been doing. That's mostly because I'm...always afraid of what I'll say if I just let the stuff in my head come up without censorship. This comes from a deep-rooted fear of insanity. Sure, there's a sort of romantic view of the off-kilter writer who gives in to his passions and eccentricities, but how many people want to deal with that on a day-to-day basis. I have this vague awareness that I'm...bent, let's say, and letting my subconscious onto paper would give me a good idea of how much. While this does have its benefits, I'm sure, it's also a scary thing to consider. What are the unknown issues that I haven't dealt with, that still guide my behavior? How many boxes have I tucked away and forgotten about, hoping I'd never have to open them? How messy do I get?
As afraid as I am about this, it's something I realize I probably have to do. Without trying to sound too New Age, quartz-holding, tree-hugging hippie about it, there's probably a lot of darkness and fear in myself I'll need to understand if I can ever hope to have a handle on the magic I'd like to wield ultimately. I'm going to have to earn the ability of true linguistic alchemy.
While I'm inching ever-so-slowly to a good personal headspace, it wouldn't be a bad idea to start learning the tools of the trade as well. As much as I'm awed by good storytelling, I have no idea what it entails. I have a rough but solid idea of how a story is supposed to be arced; the introduction, complication, climax, denouement, etc. and so forth, but if you asked me to apply that template to most stories I'd probably not do as well as I'd like to believe. So...are there any good 'these are the mechanics of storytelling' books out there? I know you really don't want to be tied down thinking of a formula when you write, but I'd like to know the tested formats that are out there.
Finally, I've all but determined I certainly need a better job. Bookbuyers is good and everything, but it's honestly not very fulfilling and the pay's just awful. I think most people there take side jobs to supplement their income, and I don't think I could do that unless there was something that allowed me to work at home. Besides, I'd like to go back to college at some point (never mind the fact I wouldn't get my degree until 30) and going to school full-time plus working full-time-plus is not my idea of a good time.
What job could i get though? Working for San Jose State would be the ideal, but many of their positions require bachelor's degrees, or proficiency and/or experience that I don't have. Plus, their hiring practices leave a bad taste in my mouth. If I could just get in for an interview, I'm sure I'd have a much better shot, but again...my resume is what needs to be strong enough to get me to be seen.
What I'll be doing this month, besides various writing-related things, is trying to put together a resume that looks halfway decent, and learning the fine art of writing a cover letter. Come the new year, I'll be pimping myself to SJSU and whatever other place I can find that aligns itself a bit more closely with what I'd like to do. If anyone has their ear to the ground about job opportunities, I'd appreciate them...or even good places to search. Right now all I can think of is Craig's List.
I think I'm going to turn
writerrabbit into a proper writing journal, instead of a repository for dumping stuff. I'd like to talk through my process a bit, even at the risk of giving away the fire.So much to do, so much to do... :)
