This Seems So Out of Context
Apr. 22nd, 2005 07:42 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jakebe
Fuch Iomega and their cheap, corner-cutting installation software. Fuck my ancient, virus-riddled computer and its absolute refusal to help me help itself. And above all, fuck Windows 98.
Charles approved the buying of a Zip drive so that we have something to back up our important files to at work. This allows me to finally be comfortable re-installing Windows, because our computer has been suspiciously wonky ever since we got hit with trojans and spyware and malware *hard* last summer. (Multiple scans of AdAware, AVG, Spybot and a couple of other programs turn up nothing but tracking cookies, but the browser cannot handle moving .gifs and the file KAK.HTA pops up every time our computer starts, for instance.) Beyond that, it's just about time that we move from Win98 to 2000 or XP. The computer is so old I don't even know if it'll *handle* new operating systems, but we'll give it the good ol' college try.
So we head out to Office Depot and dump $200 on a Zip drive, a package of disks and the 2-year warranty. Get back, follow the instructions with the quick-install disk, and everything seems to be going well. You have to shut down the computer, plug the drive into the USB port and that's all, once the software's installed. The computer should pick it right up, and you can begin doing the whole "Look at me I'm using a Zip drive!" thing immediately.
The computer never restarts. "Windows Protection Error. Please restart your computer."
Oooookay. Unplug the drive, the machine starts fine, but now the *software* is freaking out because there's no ZIP Drive. Grumble. Try to figure out what's going on. Plug the Drive in after the computer's started. It crashes. I panic. Unplug drive. Restart computer. Iomega software freaks again.
Uninstall Iomega software, and anything that might have messed with the install. (Spybot jumps all over any and all registry changes.) Reinstall AVG and AdAware, drop Spybot for now. Do a system scan, find 75 bits of malware on the computer. Grumble.
Restart. Run AVG and AdAware again, without being connected to the Internet. Everything comes up fine. Reinstall Iomega software, shut down when it tells me to, plug in the ZIP Drive, restart the computer.
"Windows Protection Error. Please restart your computer."
I have NO idea what's going on at this point. Of the 8 people who work at this Bookshop, I'm the one who's most computer-savvy, which should tell you many, many things. Try the online help desk a little pamphlet refers me to. It tells me to maybe install this different install software. I uninstall the original software, install this. Shut down when it tells me to, plug in the ZIP drive, and restart WIndows.
"Windows Protection Error. Please restart your computer."
I begin to notice a disturbing pattern. I also shout obscenities and threaten to break apart the computer and melt its innards with a magnifying glass, like thousands of oddly-shaped, green Barbie dolls. It seems undeterred. I try not to cry and go out to shelve books, whereupon I'm beset by Don and forced to box books for the last hour of my workday. Day 2 of the battle between inept bookshop computer guru and old buskety WinPOS begins in but 2 hours from now.
My plan of attack: spend an hour wandering aimlessly around the bookshop, eating a strategically-purchased blueberry muffin, come up with sudden projects that NEED TO BE DONE THAT INSTANT for as long as possible. Knowing Charles, though, I'll be sitting in front of that computer within 30 minutes. Grumble. Once I reach that point, I really don't have any sort of game plan.
I'll hit the Iomega tech support website and find this fabled webchat they keep toting. If it's anything like the SBC Yahoo webchat, I probably will find a hatchet and embed it into the monitor. I'm beginning to think taking a flask into work with me might be a good idea. :)
I don't claim to really know what I'm doing, unless Charles forces me into a 1 or 0 answer. Then I kind of have to, or else nothing gets done. I'll muddle through this; I don't think it's the port itself because it works just fine with our scanner. (Though I should check just to make absolutely sure.) And I'm not sure whether the computer is rejecting the software out of spite, or if the equipment itself is bad somehow. If it's the latter, we can just get everything replaced with no problem. If it's the former, then we're going to be in for an interesting ride. Before heading in to the dark computer mines I should really look up "Windows Protection Error" and find out what the hell *that* means. Apologies for displaying my shining ignorance so brightly. I'm sure computer geeks must be blinded by my ineptitude by now. :D
There's other news, of course: the return of Odis' game is nigh, which makes me extraordinarily happy. I get to play Lucas the Werebear again! Hoohah! Also, the idea of power-vomiting beef, bacon and yogurt so hard that your lower jaw pops off and bacon shoots from your nose like party favors is debilitatingly funny. So, don't think about it when you're driving.
Oh! I've decided that the only way I'm going to learn Linux is through total immersion. So on Sunday (which happens to be the full moon, natch) I'll be switching computers. I have yet to think of a name for what will eventually be my Ubuntu Linux box. Well, yes I have. Probably Harvey. Bonus points to you if you get what that references. I'm pretty excited about it; the few times I've played with Linux I've really loved it, but the inertia from, you know, learning Windows for 10 years has kept me from devoting myself. ;)
Time to don the gladatorial armor.
Charles approved the buying of a Zip drive so that we have something to back up our important files to at work. This allows me to finally be comfortable re-installing Windows, because our computer has been suspiciously wonky ever since we got hit with trojans and spyware and malware *hard* last summer. (Multiple scans of AdAware, AVG, Spybot and a couple of other programs turn up nothing but tracking cookies, but the browser cannot handle moving .gifs and the file KAK.HTA pops up every time our computer starts, for instance.) Beyond that, it's just about time that we move from Win98 to 2000 or XP. The computer is so old I don't even know if it'll *handle* new operating systems, but we'll give it the good ol' college try.
So we head out to Office Depot and dump $200 on a Zip drive, a package of disks and the 2-year warranty. Get back, follow the instructions with the quick-install disk, and everything seems to be going well. You have to shut down the computer, plug the drive into the USB port and that's all, once the software's installed. The computer should pick it right up, and you can begin doing the whole "Look at me I'm using a Zip drive!" thing immediately.
The computer never restarts. "Windows Protection Error. Please restart your computer."
Oooookay. Unplug the drive, the machine starts fine, but now the *software* is freaking out because there's no ZIP Drive. Grumble. Try to figure out what's going on. Plug the Drive in after the computer's started. It crashes. I panic. Unplug drive. Restart computer. Iomega software freaks again.
Uninstall Iomega software, and anything that might have messed with the install. (Spybot jumps all over any and all registry changes.) Reinstall AVG and AdAware, drop Spybot for now. Do a system scan, find 75 bits of malware on the computer. Grumble.
Restart. Run AVG and AdAware again, without being connected to the Internet. Everything comes up fine. Reinstall Iomega software, shut down when it tells me to, plug in the ZIP Drive, restart the computer.
"Windows Protection Error. Please restart your computer."
I have NO idea what's going on at this point. Of the 8 people who work at this Bookshop, I'm the one who's most computer-savvy, which should tell you many, many things. Try the online help desk a little pamphlet refers me to. It tells me to maybe install this different install software. I uninstall the original software, install this. Shut down when it tells me to, plug in the ZIP drive, and restart WIndows.
"Windows Protection Error. Please restart your computer."
I begin to notice a disturbing pattern. I also shout obscenities and threaten to break apart the computer and melt its innards with a magnifying glass, like thousands of oddly-shaped, green Barbie dolls. It seems undeterred. I try not to cry and go out to shelve books, whereupon I'm beset by Don and forced to box books for the last hour of my workday. Day 2 of the battle between inept bookshop computer guru and old buskety WinPOS begins in but 2 hours from now.
My plan of attack: spend an hour wandering aimlessly around the bookshop, eating a strategically-purchased blueberry muffin, come up with sudden projects that NEED TO BE DONE THAT INSTANT for as long as possible. Knowing Charles, though, I'll be sitting in front of that computer within 30 minutes. Grumble. Once I reach that point, I really don't have any sort of game plan.
I'll hit the Iomega tech support website and find this fabled webchat they keep toting. If it's anything like the SBC Yahoo webchat, I probably will find a hatchet and embed it into the monitor. I'm beginning to think taking a flask into work with me might be a good idea. :)
I don't claim to really know what I'm doing, unless Charles forces me into a 1 or 0 answer. Then I kind of have to, or else nothing gets done. I'll muddle through this; I don't think it's the port itself because it works just fine with our scanner. (Though I should check just to make absolutely sure.) And I'm not sure whether the computer is rejecting the software out of spite, or if the equipment itself is bad somehow. If it's the latter, we can just get everything replaced with no problem. If it's the former, then we're going to be in for an interesting ride. Before heading in to the dark computer mines I should really look up "Windows Protection Error" and find out what the hell *that* means. Apologies for displaying my shining ignorance so brightly. I'm sure computer geeks must be blinded by my ineptitude by now. :D
There's other news, of course: the return of Odis' game is nigh, which makes me extraordinarily happy. I get to play Lucas the Werebear again! Hoohah! Also, the idea of power-vomiting beef, bacon and yogurt so hard that your lower jaw pops off and bacon shoots from your nose like party favors is debilitatingly funny. So, don't think about it when you're driving.
Oh! I've decided that the only way I'm going to learn Linux is through total immersion. So on Sunday (which happens to be the full moon, natch) I'll be switching computers. I have yet to think of a name for what will eventually be my Ubuntu Linux box. Well, yes I have. Probably Harvey. Bonus points to you if you get what that references. I'm pretty excited about it; the few times I've played with Linux I've really loved it, but the inertia from, you know, learning Windows for 10 years has kept me from devoting myself. ;)
Time to don the gladatorial armor.
