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Mar. 6th, 2026 01:30 pm Yeen ended things with Husboo last night. I came home last night to Husboo making a martini while he gave me the news. It was...a sudden end to a relationship that hadn't quite been working for some time.
Husboo is heart-broken, of course, and I'm heart-broken for him. He's doing his best to manage his grief, but he poured his heart and soul into the relationship for over a year now. When you try so hard and your efforts are still rejected, it's impossible not to take that personally.
But it honestly had nothing to do with him. Yeen is...young and his heart is bigger than his brain in the sense that he commits to things with no real sense of the work involved in keeping that commitment. I don't think he understood what he was signing up for with a poly relationship -- much less one with someone as intense as Husboo tends to be. Once he realized this wasn't someone whose life he could dip into for two weekends a month and then leave alone, I think he couldn't find a way to balance everything without burning out.
I don't blame Yeen for this at all. He's young, and as a recovering over-committer myself I know how easy it can be to fall into this trap. The reality of your dreams is always so much messier and so much more work than you think it will be.
But this leaves Husboo wondering if he's unloveable, or will never be seen as someone special again, and...of course not. He's special to me, and I know he knows this too, but I think he misses the total immediacy of new love, the excitement and rush of endorphins. I, on the other hand, have never known the suffusive warmth of old love, being with someone day after day, building a life, a rut, habitual comfort with them. I feel so lucky to have someone to build that with, and I cherish him for it.
It's just easy to stay focused on all the ways in which we're not fulfilled that we don't give enough air to all the things that are getting us 80% of the way there, you know? I think the quest for fulfillment is good and natural, but we get locked into the mindset of finding the flaws in everything, tallying up all the ways we're unhappy like a to-do list that needs to be checked off. I know there's a middle path between contentment in stagnation and total restlessness forcing a death march to perfection, but staying on it does require a level of intentionality I haven't been putting in.
There are a few places in life where I need to step up. For now, it's important to me that he knows I love him. <3
Husboo is heart-broken, of course, and I'm heart-broken for him. He's doing his best to manage his grief, but he poured his heart and soul into the relationship for over a year now. When you try so hard and your efforts are still rejected, it's impossible not to take that personally.
But it honestly had nothing to do with him. Yeen is...young and his heart is bigger than his brain in the sense that he commits to things with no real sense of the work involved in keeping that commitment. I don't think he understood what he was signing up for with a poly relationship -- much less one with someone as intense as Husboo tends to be. Once he realized this wasn't someone whose life he could dip into for two weekends a month and then leave alone, I think he couldn't find a way to balance everything without burning out.
I don't blame Yeen for this at all. He's young, and as a recovering over-committer myself I know how easy it can be to fall into this trap. The reality of your dreams is always so much messier and so much more work than you think it will be.
But this leaves Husboo wondering if he's unloveable, or will never be seen as someone special again, and...of course not. He's special to me, and I know he knows this too, but I think he misses the total immediacy of new love, the excitement and rush of endorphins. I, on the other hand, have never known the suffusive warmth of old love, being with someone day after day, building a life, a rut, habitual comfort with them. I feel so lucky to have someone to build that with, and I cherish him for it.
It's just easy to stay focused on all the ways in which we're not fulfilled that we don't give enough air to all the things that are getting us 80% of the way there, you know? I think the quest for fulfillment is good and natural, but we get locked into the mindset of finding the flaws in everything, tallying up all the ways we're unhappy like a to-do list that needs to be checked off. I know there's a middle path between contentment in stagnation and total restlessness forcing a death march to perfection, but staying on it does require a level of intentionality I haven't been putting in.
There are a few places in life where I need to step up. For now, it's important to me that he knows I love him. <3
