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Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit
Aug. 1st, 2024 12:00 pmI am so close to level 44!
It's a natural time to take stock of things, see where I'm at. Even considering all the complaining I've done so far, I'm content even though I know I need to make several changes in order to be my "best self". I need to take an honest stock of myself professionally and develop a game plan for how to move forward. I need to realign my life so I'm practicing my values every day -- and focusing on the work needed to make the lives of everyone around a little better. I need to take better care of myself, just by paying attention to the things I need to push past my comfort zone. I need to rediscover a sense of creativity and joy.
With the day job, I'm growing more comfortable with the nuts-and-bolts part of it. I have a better grasp on what I'm doing on a high level, so it helps me pick my battles with the trench-work. There's still a lot that shouldn't be as hard as it is, but I'm learning a sense of equanimity about it. It's a lesson I've taken from 23andMe, and reinforced here I suppose -- complaining about how bad a situation is only makes it worse. We all see that our process is a mess that we have to fight through; it doesn't do anyone any good to point it out. It's a much better use of time wrapping your head around the problem and figuring out ways to reduce the pain of it. And that's where I'm at.
I'm also (belatedly) trying to catch up to the company culture. My position is one where field technicians could be very easily annoyed by me; I'm bugging them about the minutiae of work they did weeks (or months) ago when they're hustling to do today's work. I've gotten the lesson that short is better, but I haven't cracked how to be succinct AND personable at the same time. So that'll be my focus when I'm working with others.
It's also time to pick up my Microsoft Suite learning. The team is heavily invested in Office, and one or two folks are even Excel power users. Proficiency with Office is such a great transferrable skill, and hopefully I can use that as a jumping-off point to learn, say, Google Suite or other productivity packages. In fact, it might be worth it to make that the focus of my "Study" habit for the rest of Q3.
My relationship with Sneppers is good. I think opening it up to new folks has really helped us "air the place out," as it were, forcing us to see the ways we had been letting each other down in a new way. I know how evasive and aloof I've come to be, and somewhere along the way I've even gotten a little disconnected from tending the hearth. I think I had been wrapped up in this story I had been telling myself that I didn't really notice how far it had gotten from reality.
The truth is we're two people who love in each other, and have for a long time -- long enough to become different people over that span. We've learned a lot about ourselves and each other, and as I work through my own head it's neat to find all this kindling around to tend the fire with. I DO love him, and I AM happy to be his husband, and we HAVE built this great life together. He's my partner and best friend. I'd do anything for him.
I suppose this shouldn't be a surprise, but I'm finding that I have a lot more space for other people when I take the space I need for myself. :P It's a little easier for me to balance the expectations I have for myself so I know how much to push, when I've really let myself down, and how to take a win when I get one. Letting go of these unspoken expectations has freed up so much head space to focus on what's actually in front of me, you know?
I'm not entirely on an even keel yet, but I'm stabilizing, planting my feet for whatever sprint is coming. Most importantly, I'm learning how to focus on the process and be in love with that -- not just the end result that may never come.
It's a natural time to take stock of things, see where I'm at. Even considering all the complaining I've done so far, I'm content even though I know I need to make several changes in order to be my "best self". I need to take an honest stock of myself professionally and develop a game plan for how to move forward. I need to realign my life so I'm practicing my values every day -- and focusing on the work needed to make the lives of everyone around a little better. I need to take better care of myself, just by paying attention to the things I need to push past my comfort zone. I need to rediscover a sense of creativity and joy.
With the day job, I'm growing more comfortable with the nuts-and-bolts part of it. I have a better grasp on what I'm doing on a high level, so it helps me pick my battles with the trench-work. There's still a lot that shouldn't be as hard as it is, but I'm learning a sense of equanimity about it. It's a lesson I've taken from 23andMe, and reinforced here I suppose -- complaining about how bad a situation is only makes it worse. We all see that our process is a mess that we have to fight through; it doesn't do anyone any good to point it out. It's a much better use of time wrapping your head around the problem and figuring out ways to reduce the pain of it. And that's where I'm at.
I'm also (belatedly) trying to catch up to the company culture. My position is one where field technicians could be very easily annoyed by me; I'm bugging them about the minutiae of work they did weeks (or months) ago when they're hustling to do today's work. I've gotten the lesson that short is better, but I haven't cracked how to be succinct AND personable at the same time. So that'll be my focus when I'm working with others.
It's also time to pick up my Microsoft Suite learning. The team is heavily invested in Office, and one or two folks are even Excel power users. Proficiency with Office is such a great transferrable skill, and hopefully I can use that as a jumping-off point to learn, say, Google Suite or other productivity packages. In fact, it might be worth it to make that the focus of my "Study" habit for the rest of Q3.
My relationship with Sneppers is good. I think opening it up to new folks has really helped us "air the place out," as it were, forcing us to see the ways we had been letting each other down in a new way. I know how evasive and aloof I've come to be, and somewhere along the way I've even gotten a little disconnected from tending the hearth. I think I had been wrapped up in this story I had been telling myself that I didn't really notice how far it had gotten from reality.
The truth is we're two people who love in each other, and have for a long time -- long enough to become different people over that span. We've learned a lot about ourselves and each other, and as I work through my own head it's neat to find all this kindling around to tend the fire with. I DO love him, and I AM happy to be his husband, and we HAVE built this great life together. He's my partner and best friend. I'd do anything for him.
I suppose this shouldn't be a surprise, but I'm finding that I have a lot more space for other people when I take the space I need for myself. :P It's a little easier for me to balance the expectations I have for myself so I know how much to push, when I've really let myself down, and how to take a win when I get one. Letting go of these unspoken expectations has freed up so much head space to focus on what's actually in front of me, you know?
I'm not entirely on an even keel yet, but I'm stabilizing, planting my feet for whatever sprint is coming. Most importantly, I'm learning how to focus on the process and be in love with that -- not just the end result that may never come.
