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I'm still recovering from...everything over the past few years, and it's been interesting to sit with the things that are still blocking me. While I feel more confident dealing with stress and the weight of expectation, it takes a lot of effort to move through it and I still make bad decisions too often.
Last week I really dug in on the Unlicensed Adventures game and it sparked this creativity within me I hadn't felt in a long time. I've been trying to nail down the details for the end-game so I know which pieces I'm working with -- and I can take stock of the pieces that aren't as well-developed as they should be. An inspired idea struck me that I'm quite happy about, but it's going to take a little more work to make sure everything fits. I'd like to go into detail, but I'm never sure who's reading this so I'll keep it vague.
The plot is primed to kick into a higher gear over the next few sessions, and I'd really like to keep that momentum going moving forward. Having the actual game setting nailed down, with a solid idea of what the overall plot will be, can allow me to focus on a few other things like making interesting combats, building a world map at last, and maybe even do some extra things like building more props and things in Fantasy Grounds.
That's the kind of stuff that happens with steady work, and it felt pretty good to be in that space with the game last week. Of course my worst habits took over through the weekend so I didn't work on anything for the last two days -- but I'm looking to change that this week.
I'm doing my best to manage my energy for consistency over the burst of productivity followed by periods of unfocused malaise that's my usual cycle. If I go super-hard in the early part of the week I'm usually burned out by Wednesday or Thursday and all of my plans are shot through the rest of the week. One recommendation I've heard that might work well for me is the "60% Rule".
The idea is that even making the "right" choice 60% of the time is better than the average of boom-or-bust cycles. It also means the willpower tax is lowered, so you're more likely to do the better habit consistently. That's *really* what I need. This week my goal is to do my six habits at least 60% this week, or four days.
I'm confident I can do this as long as I'm mindful about it. To that end, I'm also planning to take a t-break through the week at least -- longer if I can hold out. Last week I was fairly engaged with everyone and that felt good, too. Even though it's stressful trying to keep a conversation alive, or avoid saying something awkward, you forget how nice it is to bond with someone else when you get out of your own way.
Still noodling on the writing front, but nothing major has come of it. I've been reading more, though I'm not sure I've gotten much out of it. A friend of mine wrote a seven-part serial that I finally finished up with, but I have to admit it didn't quite turn me on as much as I thought it would. There's something about his writing that just makes me bounce off of it; while our kinks align in significant ways...I don't know. There's something about the way the characters regard themselves and/or interact with others that I can't relate to.
It makes me feel guilty to admit I just don't like this person's work very much -- especially since they've been so encouraging of my own work. Maybe the guilt comes from the fact that I can't pinpoint exactly what's wrong for me so I can't talk about it with him. Or even figure out how that style clash could help my own writing be more distinctive. It's just....I ask him to write things for me, I'll get excited about it, and then when I get the story I'm disappointed for some reason.
This happens with a lot of writer friends, actually. So many folks are trying to get their work seen, and so many folks have cheered me on in my stalled writing career, and I'm doing nothing to help. I don't actually read the writers I subscribe to on Patreon; I never follow up on the stories that friends send me for review -- at least, not in any reasonable amount of time; I don't promote the writing I do like nearly enough.
I think that guilt also makes me the closed-off writer that I am. I don't feel very plugged in to the furry writers' community, even the macrophile one, so I'm not really...having a conversation as a fellow appreciator of the art. I'm just a "pretender" trying to "cash in" or something like that.
None of this is true, but...it's interesting to me that I've internalized the notion that writers MUST be readers. So that's what I'm sitting with right now.
Last week I really dug in on the Unlicensed Adventures game and it sparked this creativity within me I hadn't felt in a long time. I've been trying to nail down the details for the end-game so I know which pieces I'm working with -- and I can take stock of the pieces that aren't as well-developed as they should be. An inspired idea struck me that I'm quite happy about, but it's going to take a little more work to make sure everything fits. I'd like to go into detail, but I'm never sure who's reading this so I'll keep it vague.
The plot is primed to kick into a higher gear over the next few sessions, and I'd really like to keep that momentum going moving forward. Having the actual game setting nailed down, with a solid idea of what the overall plot will be, can allow me to focus on a few other things like making interesting combats, building a world map at last, and maybe even do some extra things like building more props and things in Fantasy Grounds.
That's the kind of stuff that happens with steady work, and it felt pretty good to be in that space with the game last week. Of course my worst habits took over through the weekend so I didn't work on anything for the last two days -- but I'm looking to change that this week.
I'm doing my best to manage my energy for consistency over the burst of productivity followed by periods of unfocused malaise that's my usual cycle. If I go super-hard in the early part of the week I'm usually burned out by Wednesday or Thursday and all of my plans are shot through the rest of the week. One recommendation I've heard that might work well for me is the "60% Rule".
The idea is that even making the "right" choice 60% of the time is better than the average of boom-or-bust cycles. It also means the willpower tax is lowered, so you're more likely to do the better habit consistently. That's *really* what I need. This week my goal is to do my six habits at least 60% this week, or four days.
I'm confident I can do this as long as I'm mindful about it. To that end, I'm also planning to take a t-break through the week at least -- longer if I can hold out. Last week I was fairly engaged with everyone and that felt good, too. Even though it's stressful trying to keep a conversation alive, or avoid saying something awkward, you forget how nice it is to bond with someone else when you get out of your own way.
Still noodling on the writing front, but nothing major has come of it. I've been reading more, though I'm not sure I've gotten much out of it. A friend of mine wrote a seven-part serial that I finally finished up with, but I have to admit it didn't quite turn me on as much as I thought it would. There's something about his writing that just makes me bounce off of it; while our kinks align in significant ways...I don't know. There's something about the way the characters regard themselves and/or interact with others that I can't relate to.
It makes me feel guilty to admit I just don't like this person's work very much -- especially since they've been so encouraging of my own work. Maybe the guilt comes from the fact that I can't pinpoint exactly what's wrong for me so I can't talk about it with him. Or even figure out how that style clash could help my own writing be more distinctive. It's just....I ask him to write things for me, I'll get excited about it, and then when I get the story I'm disappointed for some reason.
This happens with a lot of writer friends, actually. So many folks are trying to get their work seen, and so many folks have cheered me on in my stalled writing career, and I'm doing nothing to help. I don't actually read the writers I subscribe to on Patreon; I never follow up on the stories that friends send me for review -- at least, not in any reasonable amount of time; I don't promote the writing I do like nearly enough.
I think that guilt also makes me the closed-off writer that I am. I don't feel very plugged in to the furry writers' community, even the macrophile one, so I'm not really...having a conversation as a fellow appreciator of the art. I'm just a "pretender" trying to "cash in" or something like that.
None of this is true, but...it's interesting to me that I've internalized the notion that writers MUST be readers. So that's what I'm sitting with right now.
