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Say Geronimo
Sep. 2nd, 2021 10:04 am
Well, it looks like I'll be working with Inkarnate on Friday night!
I didn't get writing or learning done yesterday; the day just felt way too packed, but I recognize there was an hour or 90 minutes somewhere in there where I could have done it. For some reason, after my work shift ended at 4 PM I just...kept noodling. Poking at work here, or reading an article there. At the very least, I could have taken the opportunity to study up on the AI chatbot thing I'm learning for work!
But instead I logged out at 5 PM, went for a walk, took care of the rest of the laundry, went to the store to buy salmon for the night's dinner, and cooked. By the time that was done it was 7 PM and time for the Dungeons and Dragons game, so that was it. On the bright side, I did manage to update my spending log and set my budget for September, so that's cool. I'm actually doing a lot better than I thought I was, though there are still a few things that I'll need to set aside funds for before I can buy anything recklessly. I should also be saving as much money as possible for a rainy day while I can. I get the feeling there'll be a lot more rainy days in our future.
Last night's game was pretty fun, though I felt a little off with my character. On Wednesday nights we alternate between H's "Godswake" game and R's "Averness" game. R is running Descent Into Averness through Fantasy Grounds, and it works *really* well. Good enough that I'm thinking about buying a module and running a campaign the same way. I've been looking for an excuse to run an online game for a few folks I miss gaming with, anyway. But that's a backburner idea -- there's too much going on right now to commit to it.
I'll try for the rainbow again today if at all possible. With writing, the plan is to switch off between the story I'd like to use as my return to Patreon, "Swiftie's Intergalactic", and my D&D game. It'll be a while before the next session, but I'd really love to use the extra time for worldbuilding and maybe building a loose structure for the rest of the game. I'd really love to run a campaign from 1 - 20, and this just might be my shot. Even if that doesn't happen, I'd like to be proud of the game I'm running and really invested in the world I'm building. It's doing the story a disservice to cram so much of my prep into the frenzied few days before a session, and now's an excellent chance to get out of that habit.
For the Borderlands game, I'd like to create the "official" world map, set the boundaries for various political entities, do a high-level view of various cultures, and then maybe start digging down into the complexities for groups the party will be dealing with in the near future. The last few sessions have shown me that I'm actually not that bad at winging it, even though I've built that up as a bit of a nightmare scenario. However, the more I know and understand the world and how it works, the easier it'll be when the group decides to go off-script -- which they do often.
"Swiftie's Intergalactic" has been a stop-start affair for a long time, and I think it's because I hadn't put much thought into what drew me to it in the first place. There was this old story called "Swiftie's Bar" that was one of the first porn stories I ever read, and it definitely felt like an early landmark in my development as a budding macrophile. Basically, a bounty hunter finds himself with free time at this bar with mixed-size patrons and ends up having sexytimes with one of the largest customers. The size difference is obviously the main feature of the story, but I remember it after all this time because of the characters. There was...a surprising sweetness to their exchange, and I associate this longing between two lonely individuals, strong enough for them to bridge the big gap between them in terms of size and culture. It makes the sex between them mean something, this moment of connection for people who don't get to experience it that often.
I've been looking for this story online for about a decade now, and can't find it. So I thought I'd rewrite it. But I keep waffling on the tone of it -- some days I want it to feel breezy and light, but other times I want to have deep conversations between characters about their alienation. It also doesn't help that my imagination just...can't gear itself around the space itself, where clientelle of all sizes can exist together comfortably. You'd think with Zootopia and such leading the way it'd be a bit easier.
But ultimately I know the block is with myself. I think I identify with the protagonist most, this guy who spends a lot of time in his own head and doesn't feel connected with many others as a result. When I think of myself in this situation, it's hard to imagine me being active, or curious, or even confident enough to throw caution to the wind. All I can think of is being a fly on the floor, watching events unfold around and above me, but never having the drive to become a part of it. So my protagonist is inactive because....that's the way I would be.
For my next stab at it today, I think I need to build a bit of distance between myself and the protagonist. Maybe he's not QUITE so introverted as I am, so he's more willing to act on his desires instead of freezing. That's the dream, anyway.
It has been really hard to look at the news and not feel like the world is ending. Sorry, that was an abrupt transition. But it's been on my mind a lot and I thought I'd write it down. There are fires burning out of control all over CA, Washington, and Canada; there's catastrophic flooding out in New York and the rest of the northeast; New Orleans has been without power since Hurricane Ida swept through, and there's a life-threatening heatwave roasting people wherever they've been able to shelter. On top of THAT, ghouls in Texas have mounted the strongest challenge yet to Roe v. Wade and the Supreme Court just...rolled over on it. Now Florida is following in their footsteps and it suddenly feels like we could see the end of legal abortion in just a few years' time.
And, lest we forget, our sensible Democrat governor is being recalled through a terrible system that would allow a small minority of voters the opportunity to install an anti-vax, anti-mask Republican radio show host in the office instead. Suddenly all the work CA is doing on COVID, climate change, social justice and everything else will at best grind to a halt and, at worst, be rolled back. Even if we fend off the recall, and the TX and FL abortion bans are struck down eventually, it doesn't stop the right wing from trying again, rigging the system so it'll be harder to fight next time. It's exhausting, and we don't have the leadership to make the base more resilient for it. When I think about it, it's just hard not to despair.
I didn't get writing or learning done yesterday; the day just felt way too packed, but I recognize there was an hour or 90 minutes somewhere in there where I could have done it. For some reason, after my work shift ended at 4 PM I just...kept noodling. Poking at work here, or reading an article there. At the very least, I could have taken the opportunity to study up on the AI chatbot thing I'm learning for work!
But instead I logged out at 5 PM, went for a walk, took care of the rest of the laundry, went to the store to buy salmon for the night's dinner, and cooked. By the time that was done it was 7 PM and time for the Dungeons and Dragons game, so that was it. On the bright side, I did manage to update my spending log and set my budget for September, so that's cool. I'm actually doing a lot better than I thought I was, though there are still a few things that I'll need to set aside funds for before I can buy anything recklessly. I should also be saving as much money as possible for a rainy day while I can. I get the feeling there'll be a lot more rainy days in our future.
Last night's game was pretty fun, though I felt a little off with my character. On Wednesday nights we alternate between H's "Godswake" game and R's "Averness" game. R is running Descent Into Averness through Fantasy Grounds, and it works *really* well. Good enough that I'm thinking about buying a module and running a campaign the same way. I've been looking for an excuse to run an online game for a few folks I miss gaming with, anyway. But that's a backburner idea -- there's too much going on right now to commit to it.
I'll try for the rainbow again today if at all possible. With writing, the plan is to switch off between the story I'd like to use as my return to Patreon, "Swiftie's Intergalactic", and my D&D game. It'll be a while before the next session, but I'd really love to use the extra time for worldbuilding and maybe building a loose structure for the rest of the game. I'd really love to run a campaign from 1 - 20, and this just might be my shot. Even if that doesn't happen, I'd like to be proud of the game I'm running and really invested in the world I'm building. It's doing the story a disservice to cram so much of my prep into the frenzied few days before a session, and now's an excellent chance to get out of that habit.
For the Borderlands game, I'd like to create the "official" world map, set the boundaries for various political entities, do a high-level view of various cultures, and then maybe start digging down into the complexities for groups the party will be dealing with in the near future. The last few sessions have shown me that I'm actually not that bad at winging it, even though I've built that up as a bit of a nightmare scenario. However, the more I know and understand the world and how it works, the easier it'll be when the group decides to go off-script -- which they do often.
"Swiftie's Intergalactic" has been a stop-start affair for a long time, and I think it's because I hadn't put much thought into what drew me to it in the first place. There was this old story called "Swiftie's Bar" that was one of the first porn stories I ever read, and it definitely felt like an early landmark in my development as a budding macrophile. Basically, a bounty hunter finds himself with free time at this bar with mixed-size patrons and ends up having sexytimes with one of the largest customers. The size difference is obviously the main feature of the story, but I remember it after all this time because of the characters. There was...a surprising sweetness to their exchange, and I associate this longing between two lonely individuals, strong enough for them to bridge the big gap between them in terms of size and culture. It makes the sex between them mean something, this moment of connection for people who don't get to experience it that often.
I've been looking for this story online for about a decade now, and can't find it. So I thought I'd rewrite it. But I keep waffling on the tone of it -- some days I want it to feel breezy and light, but other times I want to have deep conversations between characters about their alienation. It also doesn't help that my imagination just...can't gear itself around the space itself, where clientelle of all sizes can exist together comfortably. You'd think with Zootopia and such leading the way it'd be a bit easier.
But ultimately I know the block is with myself. I think I identify with the protagonist most, this guy who spends a lot of time in his own head and doesn't feel connected with many others as a result. When I think of myself in this situation, it's hard to imagine me being active, or curious, or even confident enough to throw caution to the wind. All I can think of is being a fly on the floor, watching events unfold around and above me, but never having the drive to become a part of it. So my protagonist is inactive because....that's the way I would be.
For my next stab at it today, I think I need to build a bit of distance between myself and the protagonist. Maybe he's not QUITE so introverted as I am, so he's more willing to act on his desires instead of freezing. That's the dream, anyway.
It has been really hard to look at the news and not feel like the world is ending. Sorry, that was an abrupt transition. But it's been on my mind a lot and I thought I'd write it down. There are fires burning out of control all over CA, Washington, and Canada; there's catastrophic flooding out in New York and the rest of the northeast; New Orleans has been without power since Hurricane Ida swept through, and there's a life-threatening heatwave roasting people wherever they've been able to shelter. On top of THAT, ghouls in Texas have mounted the strongest challenge yet to Roe v. Wade and the Supreme Court just...rolled over on it. Now Florida is following in their footsteps and it suddenly feels like we could see the end of legal abortion in just a few years' time.
And, lest we forget, our sensible Democrat governor is being recalled through a terrible system that would allow a small minority of voters the opportunity to install an anti-vax, anti-mask Republican radio show host in the office instead. Suddenly all the work CA is doing on COVID, climate change, social justice and everything else will at best grind to a halt and, at worst, be rolled back. Even if we fend off the recall, and the TX and FL abortion bans are struck down eventually, it doesn't stop the right wing from trying again, rigging the system so it'll be harder to fight next time. It's exhausting, and we don't have the leadership to make the base more resilient for it. When I think about it, it's just hard not to despair.
