![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Leaving the Decade Behind
Jan. 5th, 2010 10:27 pmIt's hard to believe that ten years ago, I was spending New Year's eve with my boyfriend at the time in a brand-new apartment that had been thoughtfully provided by a few close friends at the time. I had just dropped out of college and moved to Fayetteville, Arkansas to try to put my lift back together after a tumultuous (and awful) two years. I remember thinking at the time that 2000 was this big scary year that could hold just about anything for me; after the flame-out of my college career (which never recovered), I was frightened but ready for what was coming.
The next decade took me through three failed relationships, the discovery of Buddhism, dalliances with witchcraft and totemism and such, lots of bizarre experiences and a few even more tumultuous times. Finally, it took me to California, and the love of my life, with whom I've built quite a lovely existence.
As we enter 2010 I'm staring down my thirties. I can't say I'm uncomfortable with this; unlike so many people around me I actually enjoy the process of getting older, discovering all the things that my older friends and parents' generation gets excited about -- the thrill of building a nest, of establishing yourself in a community, of settling in to who you are and where you fit. I may get an itch in ten years to throw away the comfort and stability I've created for myself; who knows what the next decade will bring. I'm mostly excited, though, and a little nervous about what's in store.
This year I'd like to focus on integrating everything I've learned over the last ten years, having all of the progress I've made come to fruition. I'd like to take better care of myself, stand up for what I think is important and display my identity more. At this point I think I have a much better handle on myself, and I can be comfortable in those instances where what I love and believe in offends (or just bores) the people I come into contact with. There's a way I can co-exist with people who don't share my passions, and I don't begrudge anyone for it.
It's amazing the security that Prozac can bring, by the way. This stuff is great. ;)
So who am I? What have I learned? What are the things that I've come to care about?
Well, that's what I'll be thinking a lot about over the year, hopefully. Right now, I have three main resolutions on my agenda.
1. Exercise more.
2. Write more.
3. Spend less.
The next decade took me through three failed relationships, the discovery of Buddhism, dalliances with witchcraft and totemism and such, lots of bizarre experiences and a few even more tumultuous times. Finally, it took me to California, and the love of my life, with whom I've built quite a lovely existence.
As we enter 2010 I'm staring down my thirties. I can't say I'm uncomfortable with this; unlike so many people around me I actually enjoy the process of getting older, discovering all the things that my older friends and parents' generation gets excited about -- the thrill of building a nest, of establishing yourself in a community, of settling in to who you are and where you fit. I may get an itch in ten years to throw away the comfort and stability I've created for myself; who knows what the next decade will bring. I'm mostly excited, though, and a little nervous about what's in store.
This year I'd like to focus on integrating everything I've learned over the last ten years, having all of the progress I've made come to fruition. I'd like to take better care of myself, stand up for what I think is important and display my identity more. At this point I think I have a much better handle on myself, and I can be comfortable in those instances where what I love and believe in offends (or just bores) the people I come into contact with. There's a way I can co-exist with people who don't share my passions, and I don't begrudge anyone for it.
It's amazing the security that Prozac can bring, by the way. This stuff is great. ;)
So who am I? What have I learned? What are the things that I've come to care about?
Well, that's what I'll be thinking a lot about over the year, hopefully. Right now, I have three main resolutions on my agenda.
1. Exercise more.
2. Write more.
3. Spend less.
