Unambitious

Every once in a while, I come to a realization. It's pretty much the same realization over and over again, but most of the time I think it's worth forgetting just so I can have the pleasure of remembering it again.

I will never have the life that almost everyone around me seems to be striving for. The kind with lots of money, the latest computer gear, recognition, fame and adoration. Unless it just happens somehow, I'll never be rich, and I won't be particularly famous for anything I've done. I won't have the admiration and high-esteem of tons of people, and my award-winning days are over. My personality doesn't lend itself to the making (and keeping) of many friends. With the exception of people I can count on two hands, I won't be remembered by folks when I die. By all accounts, I *should* be considered a failure.

"Failure" feels really good to me. :)

I don't have a lot, but I have enough. Most importantly, I love what I have. And despite billboards and magazines and television telling me otherwise, I don't really need to have any more. I'm fine as I am.

Still, there are things I'd like to do: become a better writer, learn to actually *tell* stories, eat better, lose weight, be more thoughtful, learn a foreign language, cook for myself more, plant a garden, learn to be self-sufficient, learn all sorts of mythologies, travel to Australia, own a rabbit, think more clearly, study philosophy, write critical essays...the list goes on. I may be content with myself, but only if I keep moving.

"We're all fine exactly the way we are...and we could all use a lot of work." -Dogen

That being said, everyone who's going have fun at AnthroCon! Kiss Peter Laird for me. ;)