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Blistering Piano
Mar. 23rd, 2005 08:40 am
So, this mindfulness business is a lot more difficult than it looks.
One of the things that have been plaguing me recently is a feeling of general frustration and shortness with people; I haven't been particularly interested in what drives them or what they have to say...beyond a few specific people. Instead of trying to connect with people and feeling alienated regardless, I've been intentionally withdrawing, pulling back from folks who try to connect with me. I'd grown disillusioned with humanity as a whole. I didn't hate anyone, but my default setting has slowly shifted to 'avoid' when I wasn't looking.
My main reaction when dealing with people has seemed to be disappointment. I think of all the dropped conversations, all the miscues and awkward silences and self-absorbed people I've encountered and it really doesn't make me savor the idea of melding myself with the human race (furs included) at all.
This happens occassionally, I lose the will to really try with people, and in the process I end up being just as short-sighted, self-centered and neglectful as I'm imagining people to be.
Every now and again, you have to remember to bow.
One of the things that have been plaguing me recently is a feeling of general frustration and shortness with people; I haven't been particularly interested in what drives them or what they have to say...beyond a few specific people. Instead of trying to connect with people and feeling alienated regardless, I've been intentionally withdrawing, pulling back from folks who try to connect with me. I'd grown disillusioned with humanity as a whole. I didn't hate anyone, but my default setting has slowly shifted to 'avoid' when I wasn't looking.
My main reaction when dealing with people has seemed to be disappointment. I think of all the dropped conversations, all the miscues and awkward silences and self-absorbed people I've encountered and it really doesn't make me savor the idea of melding myself with the human race (furs included) at all.
This happens occassionally, I lose the will to really try with people, and in the process I end up being just as short-sighted, self-centered and neglectful as I'm imagining people to be.
Every now and again, you have to remember to bow.
