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SBC Yahoo! Can Eat My Nuts
May. 13th, 2004 12:20 pm
I go to work on Monday, and Charles tells me to check the orders on-line. I do. Or try to, anyway. For some reason, the connection goes through but I'm still unable to browse using IE, get mail through Outlook, or even browse telnet. Nothing works, and there's just no reason for it.
I call up SBC Yahoo! Customer Service, and after having to endure three minutes of automated menu selection and recorded messages, I finally get to talk an actual human being. This human being speaks English with a heavy accent that would place them somewhere in southern Asia. That's just fine, I said. Sign of the times.
"Hello, my name is Joe," the Indian said. "What seems to be your problem?"
"Well, I seem to be able to connect to the internet just fine, but for some reason your SBC Connection Manager won't patch me through (I don't speak geek, I'm afraid). My computer and the SBC Network is all right, but it says that the web server is unavailable."
"I apologize for all of the inconvenience, however I understand that while you seem to be able to connect to the internet, you cannot browse using Internet Explorer. Is that correct?"
".... Yes. That is correct."
This is followed by 90 minutes more of obviously scripted questions and responses, even ice-breakers. The sad thing about this is 'Joe' isn't supposed to let on that he's foreign at all (when I asked him where he's from, he could only say "I am from a global call service center of SBC Yahoo! Communications."), so I can't even connect with him on a human being level. He's lying about his name because he's been told to, and he has no more idea of what's going on than I do. The only difference between him and me is the script that's in front of him.
We run through the entire basic troubleshooting checklist, and everything is as it should be before the phone's batteries die...it's a wireless. I call back later that day, give them my case number, and *still* have to endure the same script before again, the batteries die. 2 and a half hours completely wasted.
Tuesday, Wednesday pass in much the same way. I talk to Joe, Rob, Jeff, Sandra, Mary and Rose. All with the exact same accent, from the exact same place. They ask the same questions, apologize in exactly the same way, evade my questions with the same phrases. SBC Yahoo has trained their employees well in every way except the way that counts; how to fix problems efficiently. I couldn't even talk to someone higher up without having to answer the same exact questions that I've been answerign a dozen times, and when I finally got put on hold to talk to the second level agent, as Rose so nicely put it, my phone's batteries died again.
Today I recruit the help of Delphinios, who has ample expertise with this kind of thing. After messing about with various configurations, setting and the like, we're still unable to figure out how to fix the problem, but he was able to pinpoint a theory. After dealing with customer service (Peter and John, I think they were) and going through two phone batteries, SBC Yahoo! is still not close to a solution. After being on the phone for four days straight, two - three hours every day, we're still just as lost as ever.
SBC Yahoo! can serious eat my balls. After uninstalling and reinstalling the software, taking out and plugging in all the cables, changing DNS search entries, IP configuring, messing with settings, unchecking boxes, checking boxes, being put on hold so that Rose can read the next section of the troubleshooting script, I'm ready to recommend that we just get rid of the service and go with Cox Cable Internet or some other high-speed Internet service.
This has been my week. Friday will feature much alcohol.
I call up SBC Yahoo! Customer Service, and after having to endure three minutes of automated menu selection and recorded messages, I finally get to talk an actual human being. This human being speaks English with a heavy accent that would place them somewhere in southern Asia. That's just fine, I said. Sign of the times.
"Hello, my name is Joe," the Indian said. "What seems to be your problem?"
"Well, I seem to be able to connect to the internet just fine, but for some reason your SBC Connection Manager won't patch me through (I don't speak geek, I'm afraid). My computer and the SBC Network is all right, but it says that the web server is unavailable."
"I apologize for all of the inconvenience, however I understand that while you seem to be able to connect to the internet, you cannot browse using Internet Explorer. Is that correct?"
".... Yes. That is correct."
This is followed by 90 minutes more of obviously scripted questions and responses, even ice-breakers. The sad thing about this is 'Joe' isn't supposed to let on that he's foreign at all (when I asked him where he's from, he could only say "I am from a global call service center of SBC Yahoo! Communications."), so I can't even connect with him on a human being level. He's lying about his name because he's been told to, and he has no more idea of what's going on than I do. The only difference between him and me is the script that's in front of him.
We run through the entire basic troubleshooting checklist, and everything is as it should be before the phone's batteries die...it's a wireless. I call back later that day, give them my case number, and *still* have to endure the same script before again, the batteries die. 2 and a half hours completely wasted.
Tuesday, Wednesday pass in much the same way. I talk to Joe, Rob, Jeff, Sandra, Mary and Rose. All with the exact same accent, from the exact same place. They ask the same questions, apologize in exactly the same way, evade my questions with the same phrases. SBC Yahoo has trained their employees well in every way except the way that counts; how to fix problems efficiently. I couldn't even talk to someone higher up without having to answer the same exact questions that I've been answerign a dozen times, and when I finally got put on hold to talk to the second level agent, as Rose so nicely put it, my phone's batteries died again.
Today I recruit the help of Delphinios, who has ample expertise with this kind of thing. After messing about with various configurations, setting and the like, we're still unable to figure out how to fix the problem, but he was able to pinpoint a theory. After dealing with customer service (Peter and John, I think they were) and going through two phone batteries, SBC Yahoo! is still not close to a solution. After being on the phone for four days straight, two - three hours every day, we're still just as lost as ever.
SBC Yahoo! can serious eat my balls. After uninstalling and reinstalling the software, taking out and plugging in all the cables, changing DNS search entries, IP configuring, messing with settings, unchecking boxes, checking boxes, being put on hold so that Rose can read the next section of the troubleshooting script, I'm ready to recommend that we just get rid of the service and go with Cox Cable Internet or some other high-speed Internet service.
This has been my week. Friday will feature much alcohol.
