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Cloth-Robe Conundrum
Feb. 19th, 2003 09:04 am
Hey there, all...
So, getting an e-mail from someone who's brushed on their philosophy way more than you have is always a humbling experience. You try to have a friendly conversation with folks, and there always comes a point where they just start pulling stuff that completely blows you out of the water. So, sure, I could go on about my personal thoughts on the matter, but it doesn't carry nearly as much weight as dead people who sat around, thought a lot, and then wrote books about it. It's a nice, relaxing game of chess, and you're resorting to checkers to make your point. I think I'll just drool and pick my toes at him instead. :)
Philosophy is one of those fields that I've always thought was intrinsically neat, like physics and math, but that I've really done nothing with. I've been mildly introduced to all kinds of things like nihilism and existentialism and transcendentalism, but I haven't followed up on it beyond the basic education you get from a good urban high school. This has always been something I've vowed to change...just...haven't yet.
I think a lot of it comes from the fact that most philosophies are very, very humanist in nature. One of the cornerstones of most theories is that God just doesn't exist, and, considering myself a pretty spiritual person, that puts me at odds with most philosophers I come across even if I think what they come up with is actually a pretty valid way of looking at the world. I don't have anything to back up my own beliefs except a gut feeling, an instinctive faith that doesn't hold much water logically. I have my reasons for my faith, but there's no irrefutable proof that God (in any and all of its purported forms) exists, and I won't pretend that there is. What I believe makes sense to *me*, but the truth of the matter is, no one knows at all whether God exists or not. It takes just as much faith to believe he doesn't exist, as well, since there's no irrefutable evidence that he doesn't exist. You can rule out 'flavors' of God by pointing out the moral contradictions that have been set forth in various ways, but those are just perceptions of the Divine, not the Divine itself.
Even still, there's a lot I feel I should be boning up on. It would be nice to have a philosophical conversation with these people and not feel like a medieval-ass. :)
My love for mathematics have suddenly been re-awakened, I suppose. Being a macrophile, an intrinsic affinity for numbers always smolders, but recently I've just been in the mood to...perform basic math problems. They're so...satisfying for reasons I can't explain. :P At Aubrin's game, I've come to be the calculator, divying up experience point totals and gold shares faster than most of the other gamers can pull out their TI-85s. I'm immaturely proud of that fact. ;)
Math was one of my favorite subjects in high school. I took up to Calculus II. By my senior year, it was one of the few subjects I still made A's in. Physics was another matter entirely; I love physics, but there comes a point where it always blows my fragile little mind. <:) I suppose that I'm mildly intelligent, but not *learned*. This fact kind of eats at me; recently I've been beset upon by the desire to *know* things, not just bullshit about them. Recently I heard that if you put water in glass, ceramic or other smooth surfaces it won't actually boil, but superheat. It has something to do with the environment being completely devoid of irregular factors, but what exactly? It's been messing with me for a few days now. The desire for college grows strong. I'm not sure I could get the financial aid I needed, since I'm already in trouble with loans I owe, and going to college means moving out of Arkansas and away from a very comfortable social and 'professional' situation here, into something (deliciously :9) unknown. I'm *not* going to the University of Arkansas, it's just not a very good school, and I hate the Razorbacks, frats and sororities that make up a bulk of the student's time and energy. Learning just isn't the focus there. If I went, I would try to go back to St. Mary's College of MD, which was an incredible school that I absolutely took for granted. Whether they had me back would be another story entirely. The desire for monastery grows strong, too. There's always been something really, really appealing about devoting your life to the service of others and the contemplation of a spiritual, simplistic, solitary existence. Even as a Jehovah's Witness, Bethel (as close to a monastery as you're going to get there) was part of the eventual plan. But, of course, joining a monastery means leaving a familiar situation and losing a lot of the wonders of modern technology that I've grown accustomed to. No computers, no CDs, no movies, at least for a while...I don't think I'm ready to give that up. I'm changing, but it's one of those things that isn't happening fast enough to do what I'd really want to do. Every day, my work ethic gets a little bit stronger, my security in myself and my abilities gets a little bit deeper, my understanding of the world gets a little bit brighter. I like the fact that I feel I'm...developing. At the same time, I wish I could kick the spurs a wee bit. ;)
So, getting an e-mail from someone who's brushed on their philosophy way more than you have is always a humbling experience. You try to have a friendly conversation with folks, and there always comes a point where they just start pulling stuff that completely blows you out of the water. So, sure, I could go on about my personal thoughts on the matter, but it doesn't carry nearly as much weight as dead people who sat around, thought a lot, and then wrote books about it. It's a nice, relaxing game of chess, and you're resorting to checkers to make your point. I think I'll just drool and pick my toes at him instead. :)
Philosophy is one of those fields that I've always thought was intrinsically neat, like physics and math, but that I've really done nothing with. I've been mildly introduced to all kinds of things like nihilism and existentialism and transcendentalism, but I haven't followed up on it beyond the basic education you get from a good urban high school. This has always been something I've vowed to change...just...haven't yet.
I think a lot of it comes from the fact that most philosophies are very, very humanist in nature. One of the cornerstones of most theories is that God just doesn't exist, and, considering myself a pretty spiritual person, that puts me at odds with most philosophers I come across even if I think what they come up with is actually a pretty valid way of looking at the world. I don't have anything to back up my own beliefs except a gut feeling, an instinctive faith that doesn't hold much water logically. I have my reasons for my faith, but there's no irrefutable proof that God (in any and all of its purported forms) exists, and I won't pretend that there is. What I believe makes sense to *me*, but the truth of the matter is, no one knows at all whether God exists or not. It takes just as much faith to believe he doesn't exist, as well, since there's no irrefutable evidence that he doesn't exist. You can rule out 'flavors' of God by pointing out the moral contradictions that have been set forth in various ways, but those are just perceptions of the Divine, not the Divine itself.
Even still, there's a lot I feel I should be boning up on. It would be nice to have a philosophical conversation with these people and not feel like a medieval-ass. :)
My love for mathematics have suddenly been re-awakened, I suppose. Being a macrophile, an intrinsic affinity for numbers always smolders, but recently I've just been in the mood to...perform basic math problems. They're so...satisfying for reasons I can't explain. :P At Aubrin's game, I've come to be the calculator, divying up experience point totals and gold shares faster than most of the other gamers can pull out their TI-85s. I'm immaturely proud of that fact. ;)
Math was one of my favorite subjects in high school. I took up to Calculus II. By my senior year, it was one of the few subjects I still made A's in. Physics was another matter entirely; I love physics, but there comes a point where it always blows my fragile little mind. <:) I suppose that I'm mildly intelligent, but not *learned*. This fact kind of eats at me; recently I've been beset upon by the desire to *know* things, not just bullshit about them. Recently I heard that if you put water in glass, ceramic or other smooth surfaces it won't actually boil, but superheat. It has something to do with the environment being completely devoid of irregular factors, but what exactly? It's been messing with me for a few days now. The desire for college grows strong. I'm not sure I could get the financial aid I needed, since I'm already in trouble with loans I owe, and going to college means moving out of Arkansas and away from a very comfortable social and 'professional' situation here, into something (deliciously :9) unknown. I'm *not* going to the University of Arkansas, it's just not a very good school, and I hate the Razorbacks, frats and sororities that make up a bulk of the student's time and energy. Learning just isn't the focus there. If I went, I would try to go back to St. Mary's College of MD, which was an incredible school that I absolutely took for granted. Whether they had me back would be another story entirely. The desire for monastery grows strong, too. There's always been something really, really appealing about devoting your life to the service of others and the contemplation of a spiritual, simplistic, solitary existence. Even as a Jehovah's Witness, Bethel (as close to a monastery as you're going to get there) was part of the eventual plan. But, of course, joining a monastery means leaving a familiar situation and losing a lot of the wonders of modern technology that I've grown accustomed to. No computers, no CDs, no movies, at least for a while...I don't think I'm ready to give that up. I'm changing, but it's one of those things that isn't happening fast enough to do what I'd really want to do. Every day, my work ethic gets a little bit stronger, my security in myself and my abilities gets a little bit deeper, my understanding of the world gets a little bit brighter. I like the fact that I feel I'm...developing. At the same time, I wish I could kick the spurs a wee bit. ;)
