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Specifically Unintentional.
Jan. 24th, 2002 08:10 amHey there, all...
I suppose I could rant about this for a while, but I suppose I'll just leave it at a few things. I've decided that:
A.) I am just not good at meeting new people, unless they're friends of friends and the like.
B.) I should make it a general rule to stop trying to be sociable and/or attractive. It doesn't work.
C.) From here on, I'll reserve my energy for the daunting task of trying to keep the friends I have, instead of making new ones who'll just get bored of me, or offended somehow, anyway.
I'm feeling disconnected from the world, and it's frustrating. More than anything I want to *connect*, but that doesn't seem to be happening no matter what I try so fuck it. I'm not going to even bother any more.
With that aside, life has been pretty good. I still haven't found my wallet, and now evidence is mounting that someone who was over for the weekend party stole it, even though I can't prove anything.
So I'm out of $50 that I really *needed* for glasses, about 700 minutes worth of calling cards, and now I have to scramble to get new ID.
Wow...apparently I wasn't done bitching. o.O I love the world so much, but there are times I feel this intense hatred for everything and everyone, because love goes unrequited. That make sense?
The comic that I had envisioned for "The Beak" kind of solidified in my head, and I'm really seriously thinking about asking artists if they could do me the honor of sketching. I can't really think of anyone that I know well enough to even ask that, though, so I'll just cast about blindly until someone shows interest. In the meantime, that'll give me time to write actual stories, and storylines.
Currently, I'm working on something called "The Way Things Are". It's my first really real macro piece, I guess...at least that's written for me and not a friend. It's going OK, I guess, but I keep restarting it. I just...want to edit before I even finish with the rough draft. I'm too attached to this idea of perfection. :P
I'm very insecure in my relationships with people right now, and my self-esteem is being gnawed away by it. I'm taking everything way too seriously, and maybe I just need to blow off for a while, do my own thing. If I have something I can just be proud of, something I've worked for, well...maybe things'll get better.
Speaking of such, I think "Breaking the Ice: Stories from New Tibet" will premiere at FC this weekend. I don't know what to expect...but any reports that people enjoyed Nightswimming could sure come in handy right now.
I think I'm gonna go to bed.
I suppose I could rant about this for a while, but I suppose I'll just leave it at a few things. I've decided that:
A.) I am just not good at meeting new people, unless they're friends of friends and the like.
B.) I should make it a general rule to stop trying to be sociable and/or attractive. It doesn't work.
C.) From here on, I'll reserve my energy for the daunting task of trying to keep the friends I have, instead of making new ones who'll just get bored of me, or offended somehow, anyway.
I'm feeling disconnected from the world, and it's frustrating. More than anything I want to *connect*, but that doesn't seem to be happening no matter what I try so fuck it. I'm not going to even bother any more.
With that aside, life has been pretty good. I still haven't found my wallet, and now evidence is mounting that someone who was over for the weekend party stole it, even though I can't prove anything.
So I'm out of $50 that I really *needed* for glasses, about 700 minutes worth of calling cards, and now I have to scramble to get new ID.
Wow...apparently I wasn't done bitching. o.O I love the world so much, but there are times I feel this intense hatred for everything and everyone, because love goes unrequited. That make sense?
The comic that I had envisioned for "The Beak" kind of solidified in my head, and I'm really seriously thinking about asking artists if they could do me the honor of sketching. I can't really think of anyone that I know well enough to even ask that, though, so I'll just cast about blindly until someone shows interest. In the meantime, that'll give me time to write actual stories, and storylines.
Currently, I'm working on something called "The Way Things Are". It's my first really real macro piece, I guess...at least that's written for me and not a friend. It's going OK, I guess, but I keep restarting it. I just...want to edit before I even finish with the rough draft. I'm too attached to this idea of perfection. :P
I'm very insecure in my relationships with people right now, and my self-esteem is being gnawed away by it. I'm taking everything way too seriously, and maybe I just need to blow off for a while, do my own thing. If I have something I can just be proud of, something I've worked for, well...maybe things'll get better.
Speaking of such, I think "Breaking the Ice: Stories from New Tibet" will premiere at FC this weekend. I don't know what to expect...but any reports that people enjoyed Nightswimming could sure come in handy right now.
I think I'm gonna go to bed.
