So It's Been
Jul. 10th, 2004 10:57 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jakebe
When I read the level of intelligence and thought other people have in their LiveJournals, it's both inspiring and intimidating. Chipotle, Sylvan, Cargo, PostVixen, Arrow, MuseWoozle and quite a few others write really brilliant essays that are insightful, interesting and fun to read. I bitch and run down little snippets of things that interest me. :)
Often I have a kind of good-natured envy with these people, because they're folks I respect and would like to be respected by. I wouldn't mind writing like they do, either. ;) It's easy to forget that for the most part, these people have a few years of both practice and experience on me, and that I'm doing all right by myself as I am.
I suffer from the very typical syndrome of wanting the results without the effort. My effort is often paralyzed because I just don't want to write something that sucks. Has to be perfect the *first* time, or something unreasonable like that. I've never learned to really edit, I've never learn to be comfortable with the idea of the rough draft. Also, most of the things I would pick to write essays about always end up feeling stupid, false or bearing complexities that I'm just not experienced enough to bring out in the ways I want it to.
Bad writing happens. Just need to let it.
A local publishing company puts out a quarterly literary journal. Their second annual poetry contest is underway, and I can submit up to three poems for review. First prize is $500, second prize $150. It'd be silly not to try, but folly to think I could win something like that. ;) I honestly do like the poetry I write, but I recognize the flaws in it and realize there's probably little chance I could compete with others who have more polish and economy. The trouble is I like my poems messy, organic, with bits and pieces hanging out, sharp edges to tangle yourself on...imperfect. It's just easier to connect with a poem that's comfortable enough to be troubled.
I have this odd, lacksadaisical approach to perfection, but I envy those who are driven to create better works because of their devotion to it. It makes me wonder if I really have what it takes to be a 'successful' writer.
I would have *no* idea what I would do if I didn't write. Well, I do. :) I went into college to become a veterinarian, and I think I could be pretty good at it. I do like the idea of comforting people spiritually, and I adore the idea of being clergy of some sort. Truth be told, I just prefer writing.
Devotion is something I need, and it's something I've lacked for a while. Maybe I just don't believe I can do things I really can, given enough time and work. I do believe it was AmberEyes who mentioned in his Journal that the reason college degrees are so important is the devotion they signify, not the knowledge reflected by them. Sure, I suppose I could teach *myself* how to be a veterinarian, but would you really *trust* I knew what I was doing withou the DVM after my name?
Hmm. I'm almost 24 years old. I can't use my youthful inexperience as a cover for why I'm not getting anywhere much longer. ;) It's high past time I started actively pushing myself again.
Often I have a kind of good-natured envy with these people, because they're folks I respect and would like to be respected by. I wouldn't mind writing like they do, either. ;) It's easy to forget that for the most part, these people have a few years of both practice and experience on me, and that I'm doing all right by myself as I am.
I suffer from the very typical syndrome of wanting the results without the effort. My effort is often paralyzed because I just don't want to write something that sucks. Has to be perfect the *first* time, or something unreasonable like that. I've never learned to really edit, I've never learn to be comfortable with the idea of the rough draft. Also, most of the things I would pick to write essays about always end up feeling stupid, false or bearing complexities that I'm just not experienced enough to bring out in the ways I want it to.
Bad writing happens. Just need to let it.
A local publishing company puts out a quarterly literary journal. Their second annual poetry contest is underway, and I can submit up to three poems for review. First prize is $500, second prize $150. It'd be silly not to try, but folly to think I could win something like that. ;) I honestly do like the poetry I write, but I recognize the flaws in it and realize there's probably little chance I could compete with others who have more polish and economy. The trouble is I like my poems messy, organic, with bits and pieces hanging out, sharp edges to tangle yourself on...imperfect. It's just easier to connect with a poem that's comfortable enough to be troubled.
I have this odd, lacksadaisical approach to perfection, but I envy those who are driven to create better works because of their devotion to it. It makes me wonder if I really have what it takes to be a 'successful' writer.
I would have *no* idea what I would do if I didn't write. Well, I do. :) I went into college to become a veterinarian, and I think I could be pretty good at it. I do like the idea of comforting people spiritually, and I adore the idea of being clergy of some sort. Truth be told, I just prefer writing.
Devotion is something I need, and it's something I've lacked for a while. Maybe I just don't believe I can do things I really can, given enough time and work. I do believe it was AmberEyes who mentioned in his Journal that the reason college degrees are so important is the devotion they signify, not the knowledge reflected by them. Sure, I suppose I could teach *myself* how to be a veterinarian, but would you really *trust* I knew what I was doing withou the DVM after my name?
Hmm. I'm almost 24 years old. I can't use my youthful inexperience as a cover for why I'm not getting anywhere much longer. ;) It's high past time I started actively pushing myself again.
