The Tao of Clifford
Jan. 16th, 2004 07:22 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jakebe
Today's episode of Clifford the Big Red Dog was kind of weird. The guys wanted this dog food that their idol endorsed, and it inspired the strangest daydreams. It was almost like watching Japanese television (I assume).
Work and (lack of) sleep has been dominating my schedule as of late. I don't know what I'm going to do this weekend.
Work and (lack of) sleep has been dominating my schedule as of late. I don't know what I'm going to do this weekend.
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Today's episode of Clifford the Big Red Dog was kind of weird. The guys wanted this dog food that their idol endorsed, and it inspired the strangest daydreams. It was almost like watching Japanese television (I assume).
Work and (lack of) sleep has been dominating my schedule as of late. I don't know what I'm going to do this weekend. <:) Actually, I'll likely be writing and taking it easy on-line if I have anything to say about it. Looking forward to a particularly good time on Sunday. >:) There's a possibility to head to Eureka Springs, too, and I might take that even though I'd be way too tempted to buy this tea set I've had my eye on for quite some time.
I'm torn between spending my paycheck to get new tires (and possibly a driver's seat) for the car and saving most of it just to get into the habit. Either way, I have to call St. Mary's College so they don't take my federal return for student loans (I have to try to consolidate them with the rest) and the state of Arkansas so I can send them old W2s, so *they* won't take the state refund or anything. Maybe I could get back refunds, too...that'd be nice.
So! I've finished <i>Unsui</i>, and Kamber should pick it up before he heads back East. *wink wink* One thing that I've come to realize these days is just the sheer amount of amazing things there are out there. The reason I've stopped talking to a lot of people is a combination of "Well, so-and-so is just not interested in talking to me, so I'll stop trying." and "This person is into such a rich variety of things I'm too intimidated." There's mild bits of low self-esteem coupled with jealousy and blah blah blah. Recently I've been able to look more without taking it on a superior/inferior basis and the results have been subtle, but dramatic.
I still want to be where these people are, but I no longer think I can't/won't get there. I'm just...in development. In a lot of ways, I never grew out of that awkward in-between-ness of adolescence. I'm not quite confident enough to make it on sheer attitude, or knowledgeable enough to be really intelligent, or dense enough to just be content doing not much of anything. <:) Not that there's anything wrong with that...
While I've gotten better at working out the tension between the elements of confidence, knowledge, instict and emotion within myself, I don't think I've come to a smooth enough place where I can express that blend. I'm getting there, though.
I feel much more comfortable being who I am, so learning from people who are farther along that ideal of being at ease with what they know and what they're into has gotten a lot easier. There's a lot less ego-clutter in the way.
Work and (lack of) sleep has been dominating my schedule as of late. I don't know what I'm going to do this weekend. <:) Actually, I'll likely be writing and taking it easy on-line if I have anything to say about it. Looking forward to a particularly good time on Sunday. >:) There's a possibility to head to Eureka Springs, too, and I might take that even though I'd be way too tempted to buy this tea set I've had my eye on for quite some time.
I'm torn between spending my paycheck to get new tires (and possibly a driver's seat) for the car and saving most of it just to get into the habit. Either way, I have to call St. Mary's College so they don't take my federal return for student loans (I have to try to consolidate them with the rest) and the state of Arkansas so I can send them old W2s, so *they* won't take the state refund or anything. Maybe I could get back refunds, too...that'd be nice.
So! I've finished <i>Unsui</i>, and Kamber should pick it up before he heads back East. *wink wink* One thing that I've come to realize these days is just the sheer amount of amazing things there are out there. The reason I've stopped talking to a lot of people is a combination of "Well, so-and-so is just not interested in talking to me, so I'll stop trying." and "This person is into such a rich variety of things I'm too intimidated." There's mild bits of low self-esteem coupled with jealousy and blah blah blah. Recently I've been able to look more without taking it on a superior/inferior basis and the results have been subtle, but dramatic.
I still want to be where these people are, but I no longer think I can't/won't get there. I'm just...in development. In a lot of ways, I never grew out of that awkward in-between-ness of adolescence. I'm not quite confident enough to make it on sheer attitude, or knowledgeable enough to be really intelligent, or dense enough to just be content doing not much of anything. <:) Not that there's anything wrong with that...
While I've gotten better at working out the tension between the elements of confidence, knowledge, instict and emotion within myself, I don't think I've come to a smooth enough place where I can express that blend. I'm getting there, though.
I feel much more comfortable being who I am, so learning from people who are farther along that ideal of being at ease with what they know and what they're into has gotten a lot easier. There's a lot less ego-clutter in the way.
