Cold, Wet Stones
Oct. 28th, 2003 11:05 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jakebe
Hey there, all...
Last night's entry was a bit more angsty than I thought at the time. That'll teach *me* to update when I'm tired.
Today I'm feeling...apprehensive about a lot of things. I've had two dreams the past two nights that I couldn't remember, but I know they affected me somehow. How...I don't know, and that's what I'm apprehensive about. I have a feeling my brain is leaving post-it notes behind my eyes and I can't see them when I'm awake. I should really get into the habit of writing them down.
In other news: a big surprise...I think too much! :) I suffer from the same fate a lot of people experience; being so lost in thoughts, rationalizing, categorizing, boxing things, that I can't ever let go to just be in that moment completely. You know, I can't truly enjoy a sunset because I'm always thinking: "What would be the right metaphor to describe this?"
The sunset is the sunset, and if the right metaphor comes along to describe it then great. It *won't* come, though, unless it's borne out of genuine appreciation, which can't happen if I'm thinking about it.
The more I try to explain my spirituality, the more...weird it gets to explain. I think I've exhausted my capacity for words with it; I know I certainly need to just let go and experience it fully. Maybe then, I can come back and just write.
Whatever you're doing, just do it. No regrets, no apprehension, no over-thinking. It's very easy to say, but monstrously difficult to do, especially when you're so used to doing it another way.
For some reason I haven't been able to eat too much in the morning, but I'm always hungry before noon. <:) I'm going to try eating a bit less this evening to see if I can even it out. How does the mind get *so* tangled? Are we born this way? Do we throw knots into our brains without realizing it from birth? Do our parents do it for us? Maybe that's what life is all about, untangling little mental knots that we've tied somehow. Anyway...I'll be making new ears for my pooka suit tonight; if it's not ready for Halloween (it should be), it should at least be ready for MFF. I keep waffling on the comedy routine, between one or two stories or situations that I like, to random observations that are only tied together vaguely. I'm trying not to overthink it, and I could go either way. We'll see what feels best when I start rehearsing it.
Last night's entry was a bit more angsty than I thought at the time. That'll teach *me* to update when I'm tired.
Today I'm feeling...apprehensive about a lot of things. I've had two dreams the past two nights that I couldn't remember, but I know they affected me somehow. How...I don't know, and that's what I'm apprehensive about. I have a feeling my brain is leaving post-it notes behind my eyes and I can't see them when I'm awake. I should really get into the habit of writing them down.
In other news: a big surprise...I think too much! :) I suffer from the same fate a lot of people experience; being so lost in thoughts, rationalizing, categorizing, boxing things, that I can't ever let go to just be in that moment completely. You know, I can't truly enjoy a sunset because I'm always thinking: "What would be the right metaphor to describe this?"
The sunset is the sunset, and if the right metaphor comes along to describe it then great. It *won't* come, though, unless it's borne out of genuine appreciation, which can't happen if I'm thinking about it.
The more I try to explain my spirituality, the more...weird it gets to explain. I think I've exhausted my capacity for words with it; I know I certainly need to just let go and experience it fully. Maybe then, I can come back and just write.
Whatever you're doing, just do it. No regrets, no apprehension, no over-thinking. It's very easy to say, but monstrously difficult to do, especially when you're so used to doing it another way.
For some reason I haven't been able to eat too much in the morning, but I'm always hungry before noon. <:) I'm going to try eating a bit less this evening to see if I can even it out. How does the mind get *so* tangled? Are we born this way? Do we throw knots into our brains without realizing it from birth? Do our parents do it for us? Maybe that's what life is all about, untangling little mental knots that we've tied somehow. Anyway...I'll be making new ears for my pooka suit tonight; if it's not ready for Halloween (it should be), it should at least be ready for MFF. I keep waffling on the comedy routine, between one or two stories or situations that I like, to random observations that are only tied together vaguely. I'm trying not to overthink it, and I could go either way. We'll see what feels best when I start rehearsing it.
