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Nose To The Grindstone
Work has been taking up so much of my time and energy I really haven't had much to say about anything else. Which is unfortunate, because I would still very much like to start putting together lists of charities and organizations that one can get involved in to do something besides sit and bitch about politics all day. :) I would also like to write a few essays, short stories, plays, catch up (finally) on Boomer Express, relearn French or Russian, play Go or cribbage, start learning how to draw for "Salvation," read the short stories ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
toob sent me an embarrassing length of time ago, or...*something* besides get my ass kicked daily at work, then come home to veg. As much as I would feel lost without having a regular job, I really don't think I could be one of those 9 to 5er types; work, dinner, TV is one of the most empty existences I could imagine for myself.
It's not that work isn't fulfilling; small victories abound! Finishing little projects here, making a shelf straighter there, *finally* getting around to culling books there...one of the upsides to working here is there's always something you can do within the span of an afternoon that'll makes things a little better. The downside, of course, is that there'll always *be* something waiting to be done when you go home at night. By the time you work through your to-do list, there'll be perhaps twice as many projects you've discovered for later. It's this kind of cycle of entropy, you know? It's natural, so I don't mind it on a deep, personal level, but it does wear you out. :)
I think the desire for rest and the desire to do something pull and manifest in interesting ways. I sit at the computer, and I *want* to write, but that's too much like work, so I waste so many hours talking or playing games or whatever. Nothing *productive*, but occupying so it might pass as rest *and* doing something, but it's really neither. I've been getting a whole lot better at picking off all the bullshit I tell myself and calling it 'unacceptable'. I just wish I knew how to motivate myself beyond that.
Other than that, nothing's really wrong; it's warm for this time of year in Arkansas, with temperatures regularly in the 60s. It's a bit of a letdown, because I've already moved into my wintry gear, and it's just a bit too warm for it. :P I'm glad my leather duster isn't back from the cleaners yet.
Since I buy it off the newsstand ever sincemillerwolf introduced me to it anyway, I signed up for two years of Tricycle magazine, a Buddhist quarterly review. They've generally got some really grand stuff; I've been thinking of getting one of their 4-volume sets when I get the cash. The Zen set features interviews with Kapleau, Aitken and Shunryu Suzuki, as well as a study of Basho's haiku. There's a set for "The Great Controversies" which features Batchelor vs. Thurman in a Zen bamboo stick death match debate over reincarnation, psychedelics in Buddhism and the whole Tibet issue. And then there's a Meditation set that looks pretty neat. But alas, no moolah as of now to do much. I don't think I'll be sending too many presents this year for the holidays, if anything.
I'm not sure where my mood is. I don't feel particularly depressed, but I think the combination of the season and work and mom has quieted me up a bit. More than anything, I just want someone to hug quietly right now. <:)
toob sent me an embarrassing length of time ago, or...*something* besides get my ass kicked daily at work, then come home to veg. As much as I would feel lost without having a regular job, I really don't think I could be one of those 9 to 5er types; work, dinner, TV is one of the most empty existences I could imagine for myself.It's not that work isn't fulfilling; small victories abound! Finishing little projects here, making a shelf straighter there, *finally* getting around to culling books there...one of the upsides to working here is there's always something you can do within the span of an afternoon that'll makes things a little better. The downside, of course, is that there'll always *be* something waiting to be done when you go home at night. By the time you work through your to-do list, there'll be perhaps twice as many projects you've discovered for later. It's this kind of cycle of entropy, you know? It's natural, so I don't mind it on a deep, personal level, but it does wear you out. :)
I think the desire for rest and the desire to do something pull and manifest in interesting ways. I sit at the computer, and I *want* to write, but that's too much like work, so I waste so many hours talking or playing games or whatever. Nothing *productive*, but occupying so it might pass as rest *and* doing something, but it's really neither. I've been getting a whole lot better at picking off all the bullshit I tell myself and calling it 'unacceptable'. I just wish I knew how to motivate myself beyond that.
Other than that, nothing's really wrong; it's warm for this time of year in Arkansas, with temperatures regularly in the 60s. It's a bit of a letdown, because I've already moved into my wintry gear, and it's just a bit too warm for it. :P I'm glad my leather duster isn't back from the cleaners yet.
Since I buy it off the newsstand ever since
millerwolf introduced me to it anyway, I signed up for two years of Tricycle magazine, a Buddhist quarterly review. They've generally got some really grand stuff; I've been thinking of getting one of their 4-volume sets when I get the cash. The Zen set features interviews with Kapleau, Aitken and Shunryu Suzuki, as well as a study of Basho's haiku. There's a set for "The Great Controversies" which features Batchelor vs. Thurman in a I'm not sure where my mood is. I don't feel particularly depressed, but I think the combination of the season and work and mom has quieted me up a bit. More than anything, I just want someone to hug quietly right now. <:)