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In Defense of the Small
I know a few people who are decidedly 'enemies of all things small talk'. There are a lot of people who are actively bothered by questions such as "What's up?" and "How's it going?" and go on and on about how such questions are so *utterly* boring and not worth responses or anything much past annoyance or disinterested, one word responses. These people feel perfectly justified by this stance because apparently there are people who know how to have conversations without 'beating around the bush' or 'milling around and wasting time by not talking about something specific'.
An analogy here: people who like to have sex (conversations) generally like to have a little foreplay (small talk). There's kissing, teasing, rubbing, kneading -- an overall testing and teasing the waters to make sure the water's fine. Things build from a touch and if both parties are amenable they build to the passionate, thrusting, messy business of actual deep conversation. Questions like "What's up?" and "How are you doing?" are the conversational equivalent of foreplay; it's our way of saying, "Hey, I'm interested in talking, are you? Let's try this out." Most people who come asking those questions are dipping their toes in the water as it were; how that conversation goes depends much on the answer. Stock, pat responses like "Not much." or "Nothing." are in effect the verbal equivalent of pushing a lover away and saying, "Not now, honey, I've got a headache."
There *are* people who are able to get right down to dry insertion and hot and heavy fucking. And that's perfectly fine. Most people, however, like to get worked up before things get heavy. Small talk isn't really small at all; for most people, it's an important and almost necessary way of starting an exchange. Conversations are a voluntary exchange of information, and seemingly nattering, inane questions are just the ways in which we try to 'trick' people into volunteering something to build from.
Furries aren't exactly known for their blazing self-assuredness and their exceptionally good social adjustment. A lot of us are shy, introverted, messed-up or otherwise insecure people who just want to have friends. If we're a bit uncreative in our approaches, hey, at least we're taking the initiative to approach someone. A little empathy in these situations goes a long way; if someone approaches with a "What's up?", give them *something* to work with. It's not going to kill you to play along with someone who's just doing what they can.
An analogy here: people who like to have sex (conversations) generally like to have a little foreplay (small talk). There's kissing, teasing, rubbing, kneading -- an overall testing and teasing the waters to make sure the water's fine. Things build from a touch and if both parties are amenable they build to the passionate, thrusting, messy business of actual deep conversation. Questions like "What's up?" and "How are you doing?" are the conversational equivalent of foreplay; it's our way of saying, "Hey, I'm interested in talking, are you? Let's try this out." Most people who come asking those questions are dipping their toes in the water as it were; how that conversation goes depends much on the answer. Stock, pat responses like "Not much." or "Nothing." are in effect the verbal equivalent of pushing a lover away and saying, "Not now, honey, I've got a headache."
There *are* people who are able to get right down to dry insertion and hot and heavy fucking. And that's perfectly fine. Most people, however, like to get worked up before things get heavy. Small talk isn't really small at all; for most people, it's an important and almost necessary way of starting an exchange. Conversations are a voluntary exchange of information, and seemingly nattering, inane questions are just the ways in which we try to 'trick' people into volunteering something to build from.
Furries aren't exactly known for their blazing self-assuredness and their exceptionally good social adjustment. A lot of us are shy, introverted, messed-up or otherwise insecure people who just want to have friends. If we're a bit uncreative in our approaches, hey, at least we're taking the initiative to approach someone. A little empathy in these situations goes a long way; if someone approaches with a "What's up?", give them *something* to work with. It's not going to kill you to play along with someone who's just doing what they can.